Advice for people who are down about their appearance

[zzzzz]

I see in general a lot of people posting here who are obsessed with their hair. They try so desperately to improve their appearance but there is a way to look even better than if you had a full head of hair. If you improve your body it will make up for the hair you don't have. If you start bodybuilding and get the body of a fitness model and dress nice do you really think you can't at the very least date moderately attractive women? Even if you are a nw6 or nw7 it should not be a problem. Almost anyone can achieve this look in 4 years max naturally if they eat right and work out properly with the right routine etc. Start bodybuilding. Being a nw4 even is not even bad if you work hard and get a body like this

 

[I.D WALKER]

Staying fit should be every responsible individual's priority. More so cardiovascular strengthening and maintenance above anything else IMHO. Just before I began noticing my own M.P.B. I was religiously working out (over training) 5 days per week. In some ways I was fortunate to have a super metabolism and physique and could boast at possessing a mere 4.5% body fat. I don't disagree with the broadly recognized merits of staying in a shape, but for me even in my physical prime my tragic hair loss experienced actually depressed me to the point where it greatly distorted my self image and self esteem and eventually disturbed my motivation to work out altogether. You are always going to get sized up at a gym and I was naturally shy ,but I can say with complete confidence that it was not my lack of muscle mass or lifting ability that ever challenged me while working out. Hair loss had a bizarre Samsonite effect on my psyche/self esteem and frankly became a bit of a deconstructive obsession of mine. At the time very few individuals at he gym or work place would believe the real me was not " the pumped or powerful beast" they saw me as, but rather a tiny, scared and broken child. When you grow bald you learn how to hide your true self real fast.

 

[swingline747]

I work out, LOTS
I am in great shape..... doesnt help compared to a guy with hair.
Yo cant walk shirtless in public everywhere, remember that.

 

[kingdomforhair]

you assume we weren't working out in the first place.

for the young guys we're greedy, we want to be as attractive as possible.

maybe i spend too long around shallow environments such as nightclubs, but in my world having a good body alone is not enough, good bodies are a dime a dozen, you need a good face as well.

i'm sure as i get older my attitude will change and fighting hair loss will become about seeking acceptance from society, until then surely i'm allowed to be a little bit image obsessed in my youth?

it's not a great feeling seeing all your mates having great hairlines, great bodies etc. and looking amazing, perfect, in their primes, while i have to bald, i've accepted my position and i'll do the best i can to maximise my potential, but there's not always a solution. as fred said, the ONLY solution to hair loss is more hair.

 

[Primo]

I see in general a lot of people posting here who are obsessed with their hair. They try so desperately to improve their appearance but there is a way to look even better than if you had a full head of hair.

As a NW4 who works out I can't say I agree with that assertion, however I will say that working out definitely does go a long way to equalise the negative aesthetic impact of baldness and much more importantly it helps greatly to repair a bald mans battered self esteem.

Hair loss itself is a continual mental and psychological battle, our self esteem is under constant and relentless attack every moment of every day from our own negative thoughts about ourselves and working out is one of the few things which genuinely repairs my self esteem and makes me feel much more positive about myself.

I personally couldn't give a sh%t if girls notice or not, for me getting attention from women is completely redundant now anyway since I've been settled down for 2 years, the self-esteem, mental and psychological benefits alone make working out extremely worthwhile for any balding guy in my opinion.

I do it for myself not how others see me, but with that said it is undeniable that a good body will ramp up our attractiveness rating, obviously if you were all born with ugly facial features then you will all be ugly bald, but if not, then surely it's all to play for no??. All guys can't help but find a girl with an in shape body, nice round bum and ample cleavage, extremely attractive, even if her face is average and EXACTLY the same works for guys.... unless like I said you are EXCEPTIONALLY f&cking ugly, like the dude below, then frame or no frame, hair or nor hair, you're ALWAYS going to struggle with attracting women.

....but I'm assuming most of the guys whining here have slightly better luck in the looks department than this guy yes???


Also with regards to the argument that working out takes too much time...I'm naturally an ectomorph build type of guy, but lifting weights just twice a week max (45 mins compound lift circuits) and going sprinting at my local park once a week has totally ripped up my body to male model proportions over the last 24 months, I look muscular without looking horribly bulky, but I also have lean abs with and low body fat %. All this for no more than 2hours a week!

I love it, my girfriend loves it, I look much better in all clothes and fill them out much more impressively, whether I be wearing a t shirt and shorts, or a bulky winter jumper and jeans, I have a visibly better body than all my friends as well as all those meatheads who spend 6 days a week bulking up in the gym obsessively with creatine and roids just so they can cover their enormous hulk muscles with a belly and a pair of moobs, my energy levels are much better, my jawline looks much more defined than it ever did, the quality of my erections and penis stamina is much better, self esteem, mental health and confidence is also much better.... so yeah, really the benefits of working out are endless and they effect EVERY aspect of my life, not just how some girls across the street see me.

Yes I do agree with you guys the ultimate solution to hair loss is definitely more hair! However the current "solutions" on offer are absolute kack if we're talking specifically about restoring a full head of hair, not just spreading that hair I have left more thinly across my enormous head.... so given this predicament it makes perfect sense for any bald/balding man out there to take control of what he can in the present... if in the future having multiple hair transplants becomes financially viable for the rest of us then of course we'll do it, however at the moment, the average results do not justify the enormous expense.. if I had a Wayne Rooney budget at my disposal it would be different.

 

[Primo]

You don't need Wayne Ronney's budget to have multiple hair transplants.

I'll pay 5000€ for my first FUE (2000 grafts) with a top surgeon, and maybe 5000 more if I want a second (I have 4500 grafts available).

And don't tell me 10000€ for a full-looking head of hair (yeah you only get the appearance of a full head of hair of course) is too much. My best friend recently bought a car for 12000€. He merely uses it to go to work, and he could get there by foot.

It all depends on knowing what you truly want and what are your priorities in life. I want (more) hair, I don't want a car, I don't want a ripped body, I just want hair.

More power to you Fred, I just personally can't afford 10000 Euro or even 5000 Euro and probably won't for another 3, 4 years at least, so in the meantime I'm just taking control of what I can in the present and nurturing my self esteem the only way possible.

Out of interest if you don't mind me asking, how are you financing it? Is it one lump sum or in monthly installments?

 

[swingline747]

I made money from fixing computers and making websites for small companies.

My mother is paying for half of it though, which I think is normal since she married a 26 years old NW5 with a wig. I'm thankful she's helping me of course.

Yes I still see my parents as partly responsible for the hell I went through at such a young age somehow. My father started balding severely at 17, what did they expect?

I can not understand the risk parents are willing to take.... okay Im bald, my father is bald.... lets roll the dice... ! It is selfish.

 

[uncomfortable man]

The next person who gleens at my bald head I will tell them if social convention had men wearing no pants it would be him who is embarrassed and not me.

 

[zzzzz]

I can't build muscle unless I take steroids and dedicate my entire life to bodybuilding. I don't have the time, the money and the energy to do that.

Every guy can build at least 30 pounds of muscle naturally, you do not need to take steroids. I am an ectomorph as well I was 120lbs and 5'9 before I started lifting. Now I am 5'11 195 lbs, never used steroids. I only workout 3 days a week for 45 minutes. Gym memberships are under 20 dollars a month. Only thing you need to do is buy more food

and no you will not still be "that bald guy" as the other poster said if every thing else is sexy girls won't care if you have one flaw like missing hair. A shaved head is only moderately unnatractive relatively.

I am trying to keep hair for others and in the process for my self. The more females I can attract the more I profit from keeping my hair/working out. Looking good for others = looking good for myself

 

[I.D WALKER]

We can take every healthy measure to extreme. I myself prefer the trim and leaner cut look better than the "beefier". I'm a physical guy , but my work is not labor intensive or physical in nature at all, so working out for me was especially helpful compensation and also enabled me to blow off a lot of steam. It helped my confidence, but it certainly is not for everyone. It's a luxury for some of us and for others it can morph into an addiction of sorts. I never had any desire to become a body builder, but for several years I lived both extremes of the weight lifting/work out experience.

 

[VeprSuper]

I enjoy it and its a gut destroyer. Probably will all my life.

 

[Vanitykills]

Women generally don't give 2 ****s about muscles. All the lifting in the world can't change your boat race and personality.

 

[Primo]

Women generally don't give 2 ****s about muscles. All the lifting in the world can't change your boat race

You mean your face?... I agree, you could also apply the very same arguement to wanting more hair however... e.g. all the frame and hair in the world is not going to matter a cent if you have a fundamentally ugly looking face in the first place, it's like polishing an ugly turd with some glossy hair on top, etc etc... but obviously, it's simple human nature that we all want to look our best, while at the same time, not going to extremes and becoming obsessive and narcissistic as Fred mentioned earlier...

Working out moderately, toning up your body and putting on 10 or 20 extra pounds of lean muscle is not obsessive, the narcissists are the morons who train 5 x a week at the expense of their job, family and social life, just so they can build huge, disgusting looking hulk muscles that no woman even finds attractive.... no one forces those guys to do that, it's just their OCD/BDD personality taking over (a lot like some of the guys on this forum and their crazy regimens) for me and for many others it working out is urely about keeping in shape as we get older and getting a mental release from the weekly stresses of life.

When I was younger I used to get this release through playing rugby or football, but now I'm past 25 and my joints are beginning to get increasingly crappy, I don't want to risk picking up a serious long term knee or achillies injury (which many guys my age have picked up and can barely even walk let alone run or exercise) so I go to the gym once or twice a week and lift weights instead.

If you're 6ft 2, with piercing blue eyes and a lightening fast metabolism like Fred, then I guess you don't have to worry about getting muscles or burning fat, however for average height or shortish guys like myself, we have to boost our metabolism as we push towards 30 or else we begin to get bellies... lifting weights supercharges my metabolism so I gain muscle and burn stomach fat at the same time...this looks a 1 000 000 X better than most of my friends who are the same height have that standard 20 something, slim, non-muscular, flabby looking belly look, which comes with lack of exercise and drinking on most weekends... without hair they would be screwed, being short, scrawny with a flabby stomach and no hair is not a good look I'm afraif.

Of course working out once or twice a week is a bit of an effort when you're tired after work just like taking minoxidil or finasteride or saving up for a tranplant is effort, however to suggest a muscular trim physique DOESN'T give you an aesthetic advantage is simply delusional, like saying having no hair doesn't matter.

Girls notice even if you're wearing winter clothes, I live in northern england with some of the ****tiest windy and wet weather in europe, but even with my big heavy clothes on, my physique and posture is still visible and noticeably better than other guys the same height.

I don't need to go around wearing a tight little v neck tshirt for girls to notce, just like a girl with an awesome body and large cleavage doesn't need to flaunt it in a skin tight top for me to notice either, people aren't that blind... if they were, then not having all this hair wouldn't matter nearly as much as it does.

 

[VeprSuper]

It changed my boat race!:woot:

 

[uncomfortable man]

Had an old man (with a full head of hair of course) basically tell me that I'm bald because I don't take care of myself. That if I had a proper diet I wouldn't have lost my hair.

I told him hairloss is genetic and nobody has control over their genetics. He said "believe what you want".

If I wasn't on the clock I would have kicked his cane out from under him and given him a good curb stomp to the cerebellum.

I ****ing hate people.

 

[barfacan]

I don't see the benefits of working out, I live in Belgium where it rains 75% of the year, as swingline said, you don't walk around with your shirt off.

To me lifting is part of that nofap 9gag reddit internet sub-culture, I don't know where it came from but you see those posts "what's your excuse?" like becoming huge was an accomplishment in life? For what? Narcissism? Girls always tell me how good I look while I don't exercise at all in any form (except walking a lot, and having sex), girls say that a guy having muscles is pretty uncomfortable to be with in bed. Some girls have had gym membership for years seeing bodybuilded guys everyday, yet have never gone out with one of them, because they're just not attracted to them. I thought it was supposed to be the ultimate solution for guys who had problems with women?!

Bodybuilders (this includes all the guys that are working out lolz do you even lift bro?!) are like those girls posting countless pictures of themselves on Facebook, it's only a narcissistic activity but they'll never admit it.

More food? As I'm 190 cm and 74 kg, I'd have to eat for an entire family to gain weight. And no matter what the members of the bodybuilding cult say, it's not, and will never be healthy to do so.

Working out will make you feel better, give you more confidence and help alleviate some of your depression. Exercise isn't just important, it's ESSENTIAL for a young man.

190 cm and 74 kg is very thin. I am 180cm and 82kg lean and i am not what you would call 'big' in the slightest sense. Your first 10 kilos will come rather easy, all you have to do is starting strength. There is alot of benefits, and you dont have to become a bodybuilder pig. All ignorant nonsense.

 

[swingline747]

I already feel good, I'm already confident, and I'm not depressed one bit. What now? I agree, exercise is important, that why I move a lot, I walk a lot, I try not to stay idle and do activities that are truly beneficial.

That means not wasting my precious time lifting weights in front of a mirror. People go to the gym to compensate for some void in their life, all bodybuilders I know follow that pattern. They were small, ugly, not very passionate about anything in their life, so they chose bodybuilding to compensate for the emptiness inside them.

Some people, like me, can't gain weight, if I try to go past 75 kg, everything is stored in my belly, and it will always be the case, because it is scientifically proven that you can't chose where you gain or lose fat.

You see, I'm far from being ignorant on the subject, maybe you are. And I hate that, because ignorant people will always shame me for being thin, while I was born and I can't do anything about it.

Look up Tony Horton and P90x... hes a thin guy but super cut and like 48 years old, he also is norwood like 1.5

 

[DoctorHouse]

Tony Horton is 55 years old. He looks awesome for his age. Exercise boosts your serotonin levels so it makes you feel really good and boosts your confidence level. I know a lot of my BDD/OCD/anxiety stems from low serotonin. Believe it or not most of society is serotonin deficient and they don't even know it. That is why so many people are taking anti-depressant more than ever. And women naturally produce less than men so that is why they tend to be depressed more and tend to be more emotional, moody, and eat a lot. Many people in this forum are serotonin deficient too and sometimes think finasteride is to blame. I mentioned this before, please read the Mood Cure. Its amazing how when four neurotransmitters in our body are depleted how our moods are affected. Nutrition affects your moods more than you think. So if you are feeling down about your appearance, your serotonin levels may be down too.

 

[maher]

Some people, like me, can't gain weight, if I try to go past 75 kg, everything is stored in my belly, and it will always be the case, because it is scientifically proven that you can't chose where you gain or lose fat.

.

Thats the biggest nonsense i've ever heard. But I'm sure you have high E level- When you work that out, then you can gain mass somewhere else than just belly, *** or boobs..

 

[maher]

Why are you guys talking about bodybuilding. Who even wants to be a meathead. It's nice to have SOME muscle definition.. Girls love that and its easier to buy clothes, everything fits