Advice for an almost noticeably balding 21 year old.

[sammo]

Hey guys, you may have seen my posts in other forums but I'm really feeling close to the point where my hairloss is obvious. I want to tell my girlfriend before this happens and give her an ultimatum as a kinda pre strike before mabye she judges me. Like... "just letting u know im losing my hair so if that bothers you, you can bail now."

I feel if i dont put it firmly this way, she could secretly dislike my hairloss and bring the relationship down with other reasons, so she doesnt have to admit she wants to break up with a guy cause hes 21 and losing hair.

Basically we've been together 6 months, my previous gf was a b**ch from hell who stressed me to the point of anxiety, triggering my hairloss. Ive kinda joked to this current girlfriend and mentioned losing hair before in a funny way once kinda had her saying "oh your not losing your hair are you".... anyway... im just gonna keep my chin up and be confident because deep down i know ITS A FACT shes gonna be less physically attracted to me.... and im her first boyfriend, so realistically i cant imagine she'd stick around with a balding 21 year old forever when mabye shes got other options and hasnt really experienced any other relationships before.

Thats whats going through my mind, any advice would rock.

male pattern baldness sucks.

 

[JDW]

Don't make an issue of it, if it changes the way she feels about you then she's not worth the time of day anyway. By bringing it to the foreground in this 'lump it or leave' ultimatum then it shows her that it is something that bothers you & this shows your insecurity...If you want to talk about it bring it up in a joking manner which shows it doesn't bother you, this will maintain your own confidence in her eyes.

 

[IBM]

Don't make an issue of it, if it changes the way she feels about you then she's not worth the time of day anyway. By bringing it to the foreground in this 'lump it or leave' ultimatum then it shows her that it is something that bothers you & this shows your insecurity...If you want to talk about it bring it up in a joking manner which shows it doesn't bother you, this will maintain your own confidence in her eyes.

I dont see how he's going to talk about his hairloss without showing his grief.

 

[BobbyChalfont]

Don't make an issue of it, if it changes the way she feels about you then she's not worth the time of day anyway. By bringing it to the foreground in this 'lump it or leave' ultimatum then it shows her that it is something that bothers you & this shows your insecurity...If you want to talk about it bring it up in a joking manner which shows it doesn't bother you, this will maintain your own confidence in her eyes.

Do this. Seriously. I'm pretty sure girls find low self-esteem and lack of confidence much more of a turn off than a bit of hair thinning.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Listen to your instincts about telling her. Your probably right. Both of you are still young, which makes male pattern baldness even more of an issue. Not to sound cynical, but most girls in their early twenties aren't mature enough to deal with the issue of loosing hair. To them that is something for old people to deal with. It is better to be upfront with something like this. Don't make it seem like your trying to push her away and using balding as an excuse, because knowing women they take things defensively and read into things. I had a girlfriend bolt on me at the first signs of hair loss. It was a gut wrenching experience. She never admitted that she left because of it, because she didn't want to appear as the bad guy. She actually didn't give me any reason at all, which is why I suspected it was the hair loss thing and just didn't have the guts to tell me. I was around your age at the time...

 

[sammo]

thanks uncomfortable man, i think your on my wave length....

I understand that girls are attracted to confident people, and I am confident but am also realistic, I won't look as attractive with thinning hair.

I also know shes quite judgmental looks wise (especially of herself) and I'm her first boyfriend. Id rather bring it up in a confident / humerous way just to show, hey if this is gonna be a problem for you, heres your way out. Not that i want her to leave but id rather her leave now if its gonna be a problem later...

Sorry to hear about your ex leaving you, thats the worst thing when there is no closure, and someone wont admit their own faults, but instead leave you in the dark so they don't have to deal with the fact they are shallow.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Women and Men in their 20's definitely can be very shallow and I could see where a guy might think a girl might leave him because he is balding. I would not mention anything about balding to this girl. If she finds out your using treatments then just tell her you use them so you can hold on to your hair( don't use the phrase you are balding) and make no big issue about it. The more you seem obsessed about your hair the more the girl will think you care more about your hair than her. Or she may use that against you if you argue. Don't let her know what your kryptonite is at all. We all know your kryptonite is the subject of YOUR balding and how a girl will feel about it. If she does find out and uses it against you and acts shallow, then she is definitely not worth any investment in. In your 20's just play the field for a while. Then in your 30's your hair loss destination might be more definite. At that time, men and women might be a little bit more mature not to judge a person based on their hair.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Let us know what happens if and when you tell her. I'm sure we're all curious to what she has to say.

 

[blondeguy]

Hey guys, you may have seen my posts in other forums but I'm really feeling close to the point where my hairloss is obvious. I want to tell my girlfriend before this happens and give her an ultimatum as a kinda pre strike before mabye she judges me. Like... "just letting u know im losing my hair so if that bothers you, you can bail now."

I feel if i dont put it firmly this way, she could secretly dislike my hairloss and bring the relationship down with other reasons, so she doesnt have to admit she wants to break up with a guy cause hes 21 and losing hair.

Basically we've been together 6 months, my previous gf was a b**ch from hell who stressed me to the point of anxiety, triggering my hairloss. Ive kinda joked to this current girlfriend and mentioned losing hair before in a funny way once kinda had her saying "oh your not losing your hair are you".... anyway... im just gonna keep my chin up and be confident because deep down i know ITS A FACT shes gonna be less physically attracted to me.... and im her first boyfriend, so realistically i cant imagine she'd stick around with a balding 21 year old forever when mabye shes got other options and hasnt really experienced any other relationships before.

Thats whats going through my mind, any advice would rock.

male pattern baldness sucks.

You're overthinking it. Women don't care about male hair loss as much as men do. All that matters is if you're groomed and confident. Chicks swoon over Bruce Willis for a reason, and he's an old bald guy!

 

[s.a.f]

You're overthinking it. Women don't care about male hair loss as much as men do. All that matters is if you're groomed and confident. Chicks swoon over Bruce Willis for a reason, and he's an old bald guy!

Oh yeah, I dont know why the hollywood moviestar worth $100m's has chicks swooning all over him. I'm sure he'd still be pulling playmates if he was a janitor.:mrgreen:
Having said that I think it all depends on how strongly she feels for you and you probably already know how that really is. Plenty of times I've seen women go crazy over worthless guys, when they could do much better. (not saying you're worthless BTW). Just you dont really know maybe sees not as shallow as you think.

 

[ghg]

You're overthinking it. Women don't care about male hair loss as much as men do. All that matters is if you're groomed and confident. Chicks swoon over Bruce Willis for a reason, and he's an old bald guy!

Yeah the bald look can look really cool if you got the right headshape for it... a manly face helps too. But, if it doesn't suit you and you hate the way you look bald it's gonna crush your confidence and that's pretty damn bad.

 

[sammo]

Yeah I'm coping. I think I could look allright bald anyway. Doctor I like what you said, and also understand that I must not let her think baldness is my kryptonite. Which it kindof isn't. I just see it as an unfortunate thing, still the same person. Confidence definately is the key.

Sammo

 

[sammo]

told her and she was surprisingly cool about it... I mean to be honest my hairloss aint too bad at this point, but yeah the conversation went well and she was totally like, you know I don't care about that. Yeah good times.

Sammo

p.s. thanks for the advice gentlemen.

 

[barcafan]

told her and she was surprisingly cool about it... I mean to be honest my hairloss aint too bad at this point, but yeah the conversation went well and she was totally like, you know I don't care about that. Yeah good times.

Sammo

p.s. thanks for the advice gentlemen.

Thing is, women say one thing and.....well you know.

 

[Pereira]

barcafan spoke one big truth

 

[uncomfortable man]

She is going to think what she thinks regardless, weather her response was honest or not is another story. At least you got it out there and that is a big deal- I hope she realizes that. It is one thing to say it doesn't matter while you are still not visibly thinning, but the real test for her will be when you are- then you will know if she is being truthful or not. But for now, I'm happy for you.

 

[sammo]

good call, if she dont like it in the future, f*** her.

 

[zackmcqueen]

If she doesnt accept it then shave it off, so you have the right weapon to headbutt her to unconsciousness. When she is out cold, shave her head and stick her hair to your head. When she comes to, deny everything. Claim that you were both attacked from behind by a mystery assailant. Chicks are dumb, she will believe you, and you will have a full head of hair. And you keep the girl.

 

[sammo]

haha sounds like a plan...