2+ month update. I can't take much more.

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Ourkes

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InMisery93 said:
I came back to say that I have begun to notice peoples hair out in public in a way that I never have before. Sure I have noticed peoples hair in my life, and especially since all this started. But recently it has been in a different way. I don't like it. I am trying to not do it but whatever I don't want to do my mind will take that and not let it go away.

I actually went a couple months and didn't come here and was able to almost think everything was ok (with regards to this. I was trying to focus solely on my depression). Now I am coming here more than ever. I don't post often, for a few reasons. One, I don't want to be one of those trolls. Like I said before there are some good people here but I do believe this place to be toxic, at least for me. I may delete this thread and only come back every 6 months, if I live.

I realize I am just typing things outloud but I have nowhere else for me to talk about this. I really wish I was never born and my life went to somebody else.
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@InMisery93
Brother, you must talk to your friends, family or a medical professional about how you are feeling. Every single one of us on this earth encounters tough times, sometimes very tough times, but you must understand that you have value here and whatever is troubling you in life can be overcome, little by little.

Which are you from? Do you have any support network?
 
Selb

Selb

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It’s weird, once hair loss becomes something you worry about it’s almost impossible not to notice other people’s hair. Even if your hair appears fine. It’s become somewhat of a habit for me too
 
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Ourkes

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InMisery93 said:
@Ourkes No, I have no support network. My family doesn't care or wouldn't understand. I have zero friends, not nobody. So the only option would be a therapist, which I know I should go to. I've known that for years. However, I just have never been able to bring myself to do it. Surely that is a sympton of the depression. I really don't want to be this way. Things have only gotten worse for years. If only there was a way to take my mind backwards 7 years, heck even 3 years would be so much better compared to now.

Thank you for the reply. I appreciate it.
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@InMisery93
You’re welcome. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I myself, like very many, have had similar problems and trust me, therapy really does help. Every small step really takes you forward, and you will still have moments where you go backwards, but ultimately you’ll move in a better improved direction.

Try to make friends if you can, get a hobby, do stuff you like - find comfort in small things. I have all the things that most people associate with happiness, but I still need simple things to stay balanced. This year has been particularly challenging with Covid, but I just go out in to the great outdoors and spend as much time with nature as possible. For me, there is nothing more soothing.

Try to find your bit of calm my friend. And go see a therapist too, let it all out, a impartial person will help you.
 
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HairNinja

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InMisery93 said:
I turned 27 two weeks ago. I remember thinking in November of 2018 that I wonder how'd it look in 2 years. November of 2018 is when I began to obsess over this, though I first noticed it in June of 2018.

I finally started taking pictures in Jan of 2020. Before that I used the mirror always. I have posted here 3 times. All 3 times y'all told me not to get on finastride. The last time I posted was August of 2020. But I decided to take 0.25mg a day. So far no sides, at all.

I have noticed no real difference in my hair in the last two months. Looking in the mirror I'm not even sure I can tell a difference in the last 2 years, though I'm pretty sure I lost compared to 3 or 4 years ago (If only I took pictures). Yet, I can't stop thinking it looks so horrible. I have only took pictures twice in the last 2 months, which has helped me a bit as I was taking them an absurb amount.

And for some reason it looks much worse in mirrors than in the pictures I take. I often avoid mirrors, but today I broke down and could not stop looking at my hair, along with my face. I always knew I was terrible looking, and hated the way I looked, but this dude here told me, in August, I have terrible face structure, and that has really re-kicked up how much I hate the way I look, not just the hair but in total. I try to look at my face and hair from all angles to capture various light sources. It just almost all looks horrible. I also think my forehead is unproportional. Sometimes I can catch the light right and my hair almost looks normal at the corners and temporal points. I don't know. I realize how scattered this is becoming.

I am not going to post pictures because you can't tell a difference on them. I just wanted to share that I have no sides, since most never come back to say. I actually went in to more than I meant to, as I am sure many don't want to be bothered reading about somebody's depression. I wish everybody could just be happy.
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Hey bro! I saw some of your photos you posted below and don't trip. People say all kinds of stuff, but the only thing that matters is what you think. I was a long-hair lead guitarist in a death metal band back in the 90's, my hair was everything to my image and I slowly started noticing what you are. I've seen some excellent videos on youtube that you can easily find with people using minoxidil or finasteride coupled with mircro needling. Being that you hair is just beginning and you still have a good hairline, this could very well work for you. Take a look cause micro needling is working for a lot of people at your stage.
 
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Ourkes

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InMisery93 said:
I could not stop myself and I took 67 more picture tonight. That is 124 in one day, the most I have ever taken. It looks worse, and even feels worse compared to just a week or two ago. A few were really were hard to look at.

I nearly had a panic attack tonight. Just had to try my best to breath slow. I really can't take much more of this and the depression and everything else. I want it to end. I know that's the only way. I just need the courage. I don't undertand.
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I have not seen your new photos but I saw the last set and you have zero hairloss. From what I recall, you hadn’t even lost your juvenile hairline which is very rare in white men. Your hair looked great bud.

I had OCD / BDD about my hair for over a year and did the same, took hundreds of photos. The more you do it, the more you see an issue that isn’t there - you develop ‘confirmatory bias’ ie you don’t see the good attributes, only the bad and you lose the ability to be rational.

I actually didn’t join this forum until I got over it. I then joined to try and help those on here clearly suffering OCD / BDD rather than actual balding, get some perspective.

To me, your hair looked great for your age. I did not see any visible sign of thinning.

I suspect a dermatologist will tell you the same.

Initially the way I broke the habit was simply by stopping checking my hair, as this was the trigger. After a few weeks, I began working out and getting out hikking in the great outdoors and I reached a stage where I didn’t care anymore, I was free.

You can do the same, but you have to take action. Stop checking your hair, or do it less, until the cycle is broken.

PS. I think you’ve probably realised that there is also a lot of toxicity on this forum. I found it damaging, however now I see it for what it is and it has no impact at all. Ignore the rubbish.
 
Ritchie

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@Calikid see you idiot. He is a trouble maker and you accuse me of being gay for calling him out.
 
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Equal Rights

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bro you got an amazing hairline, low, great temples. I am jealous. Also you got a defined face which is awesome. Great jaw, clean face, blue eyes. Get your mental state in tact and you will be golden lol.
 
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