WTF. A GOODASSHAIRDAY?!

[Guest]

Yea, this is a completely useless post but goddamn i'm actually having a really good day for once. I'm straight up sporting my locks like I used to. GOODASSHAIRDAY! I am surging with confidence, i'm gonna say what up to this girl in my humanties class today. LATE...

 

[Guest]

:lol:

 

[The Gardener]

Yeah, go for it! You know what really works well. Sneak up behind her and give her a nice little swat on the ***. Not hard, not too soft, just enough to give her a little rise. Then say to her, "are those space pants you have on?.. because your *** is out of this world." Then, walk away...

She will be swooning over you.

Oh, and you can't do the above if you don't keep serious about it. You have to have a deadpan serious face, and serious voice. If you say it in a timid or humorous way or crack a smile she will think you are a clown and/or a perv. But if you are serious about it then her initial sense of personal violation will be more than overcome with a sense of intrigue and mystery, and it will turn on a little light in her head, get the endorphins running a bit, make her wonder.

Another thing that works well is the Clinton technique, which is to sit next to her, and grab her leg. No, not a timid brush or feeble grasp, but a full on fuckin grope. Not too high on the thigh or you might really offend her... and not too low on the knee where she will wonder what the f*** you are doing. It has to be juuust right, about 4 inches up from the knee. Do it while talking to her, as if you were touching her as many people touch a shoulder or arm to stress a point in your conversation. By timing it right in concert with the conversation you are having with her, she will think of it as a very intriguing "grey area" type move of you to make. And, if you keep a serious face, she will get hot. This one is hard to master.

 

[Axon]

if you're name's Brad Pitt, it ain't sexual harrasment.

 

[Wezz]

Yeah, go for it! You know what really works well. Sneak up behind her and give her a nice little swat on the ***. Not hard, not too soft, just enough to give her a little rise. Then say to her, "are those space pants you have on?.. because your *** is out of this world." Then, walk away...

She will be swooning over you.

Oh, and you can't do the above if you don't keep serious about it. You have to have a deadpan serious face, and serious voice. If you say it in a timid or humorous way or crack a smile she will think you are a clown and/or a perv. But if you are serious about it then her initial sense of personal violation will be more than overcome with a sense of intrigue and mystery, and it will turn on a little light in her head, get the endorphins running a bit, make her wonder.

Another thing that works well is the Clinton technique, which is to sit next to her, and grab her leg. No, not a timid brush or feeble grasp, but a full on fuckin grope. Not too high on the thigh or you might really offend her... and not too low on the knee where she will wonder what the f*** you are doing. It has to be juuust right, about 4 inches up from the knee. Do it while talking to her, as if you were touching her as many people touch a shoulder or arm to stress a point in your conversation. By timing it right in concert with the conversation you are having with her, she will think of it as a very intriguing "grey area" type move of you to make. And, if you keep a serious face, she will get hot. This one is hard to master.

lol, wtf ???? is these the directions for the place you want to go or meeting a chick and acting right the way you supposed to ?

 

[Kramer3]

Badass: Good to here your treatments are starting to kick in. Your one of the lucky few who have been able to catch it before it became to severe.

Gardener: I love your tips on how to entice the ladies. I've read a few of your posts where I've got some pretty good advice. If you got all of these moves down that girl your bangin must be one hottie.

 

[Yardbird]

I would add that if she's fat, look deep into her eyes and tell her, "Baby, I want to give you liposuction and make sweet love to you in the aftermath." Chicks love that kind of thing.

 

[The Gardener]

Hahaha... glad to hear that, Kramer. There is an element of exaggeration in some of what I say, but the main point is a true one. You have to have a bit of an edge. Make that first move. You might get shot down, but at least then you know and can not waste any more time.

As for the sexual harassment comment... naaah. What some call sexual harassment others call getting fresh. If there were no 'sexual harassment' in this world then you and I would not be here because daddy would never have gotten into mommy's pants. I somehow doubt that the first physical encounter between them, that day way back under the bleachers in college or wherever was preceeded by him asking her "honey, can I have permission to fondle your breasts?" The problem is that nowadays we have gotten into this habit of waiting for the woman to make the move first. Well, you know what? Keep waiting. I am NOT saying that we should go around fondling anyone and everyone that tickles our fancy but that when we meet someone we like, there are times when we are expected to, well, be a man. Just be tactful about it. And believe me, it works and if the time is right it will be warmly received. Despite the rise of feminism, which I am a HUGE supporter of, there are times when women like to feel physically desired.

And another point. I took my baby dancing two weekends ago and after a nice dinner and a few drinks and a little merengue we were both kind of excited and loosened up a bit. I accidently said something a bit out of character and I thought she was going to slap me for it. Basically when she was reaching down to adjust her shoe she caught me checking her out. And even though she caught me, I accidently let my stare linger a bit and the words "you have a f*****g great rack" subconsiously just came out of my mouth. I don't know who said it, it wasn't me, but the words came out of my mouth in my voice. It was an accident! But she loved it! I apologized for my bad French so to speak, and she told me that she liked it, in not so few words, because it made her feel like I was passionately attracted to her. Of course, my point is NOT that we should talk porno-style to our ladies, but sometimes its nice to throw in a little spice, I suppose?

 

[fuzbucket]

blah bla blah, bla blah. blah blah! blah! bla bla blah?

 

[MidnightFlyer]

Hey Gardener, pretty good. You oughta try your hand at writing a soft-core novella. Share your moves with the world in the guise of literary semi-p**rn fiction. 8)

 

[The Gardener]

Ha ha ha! Maybe I should write for those cheesy Harlequin romance books for women!

Actually, I think I was exposed to too many James Bond movies as a child. Either that, or I have spent too much time in South America.

 

[Axon]

If you're Brad Pitt, it ain't sexual harrasment.

 

[Guest]

The problem is that nowadays we have gotten into this habit of waiting for the woman to make the move first. Well, you know what? Keep waiting. I am NOT saying that we should go around fondling anyone and everyone that tickles our fancy but that when we meet someone we like, there are times when we are expected to, well, be a man. Just be tactful about it. And believe me, it works and if the time is right it will be warmly received. Despite the rise of feminism, which I am a HUGE supporter of, there are times when women like to feel physically desired.

Gardener is absolutely right. Worked for me last friday. If you see a girl you are interested in, go for it. She might be interested in you too, but you won't never know if you just wait around. For instance last friday at my friends house party i had my eye on this girl. Later on my friend and I went out to the front of the house to tell the people all in front of the house to get inside(Too many people out front and the neighbors will surely call the cops and shut down the partY). And so i see the girl i want to talk to out there too with her friends and i say to her, "Yea, if everyone is out here the party is gonna get shut down, so why don't you come inside with me and lets go dance." And i know she liked that because i was being very assertive, i think thats the word and i took her in and continued to mack the rest of the night. Those of you not familiar with the cali word "mack" it means like "spit game" or if you dont know what that means, i guess new school chivalry....