"Women like to date guys that look like their father"

[beatit]

First things first, I am not bald.

I am a NW2 - however I am concerned that it may get worse.

Anyway, was speaking to a friend last night about it, and how I may take the propecia as a preventative measure. And he was like:

"I think baldness suits men"

"women like to date men who remind them of their father"

followed by:

"when I was your age (26) I never worried about hairloss"

basically downplaying it all

Now this guy is 60 and only started losing it in his 50s, I was like:

"If you was losing your hair in your 20s, would you be happy?"

He went silent.

Sick of it, why do other people downplay it?

 

[Beingbaldsucks]

As a friend he want to make you feel good,my friends too support me, I appreciate it,they allwayes saying it dosent matter,girls will never support thir friends like that, your friends don't care how you look like, in woman however they can be b****s on to another about looks.

 

[Mens Rea]

First things first, I am not bald.

I am a NW2 - however I am concerned that it may get worse.

Anyway, was speaking to a friend last night about it, and how I may take the propecia as a preventative measure. And he was like:

"I think baldness suits men"

"women like to date men who remind them of their father"

followed by:

"when I was your age (26) I never worried about hairloss"

basically downplaying it all

Now this guy is 60 and only started losing it in his 50s, I was like:

"If you was losing your hair in your 20s, would you be happy?"

He went silent.

Sick of it, why do other people downplay it?

In fairness, what do you expect them to do?

It would be worst if they "overplayed" it.

Catch 22, eh?


But yeah, i do agree with you. I'm going bald, bad diffuse all over. Will have to clean shave in another year. Im 26.

My brothers have full heads of hair as do my dad! My brothers always play it down and tell me it isn't a big deal, which is nice, but i asked my brother how much $$$ it would take for him to be slick bald and he admitted he didn't want to be bald either. Point proven.

It is what it is though, isn't it?

I don't want to be balding, i dont want to be bald. But i am.

My girlfriend couldn't understand the big deal either. "You're a man". My ex didn't care, nor did various other girls ive had in the past.

I explained to my gf, "how would you feel if your hair was falling out bit by bit and you couldn't control it?". She came back to me the next day and said "yeah, i can understand, after you put it like that, how hard that might be, as a girl obviously i would hate that, but you're a man and i don't think it's that big of a deal - not for me, but i can now imagine why you don't like it so much".

So, basically we gotta take it like a man!! What alternative is there?

 

[Beingbaldsucks]

Not a big deal for her ha? If you were bald she would have run away from you

 

[slipy]

I think i'd rather be alone my whole life than with someone who doesn't understand my innermost concerns, or if i had to put on a act to be accepted, that would only add to the suffering.

 

[Ori83]

hair people underestimate the devastating power of male pattern baldness. untill it hits their door, and even at 50 some men get really concerned about it.... humans are hypocritical... but thats old news.
i have more respect for guys who are honest and say things like "i dont know how i would handle this" "this will ruin me" etc etc... there is not a single sole on this plant who wouldn't mind going bald..... :jackit: dont let them fuckers tell you otherwise!

 

[Mens Rea]

Not a big deal for her ha? If you were bald she would have run away from you

No, she wouldn't. And won't.

 

[Mens Rea]

I think i'd rather be alone my whole life than with someone who doesn't understand my innermost concerns, or if i had to put on a act to be accepted, that would only add to the suffering.

Is that in reply to my comment?

Not sure....

Anyway, my gf or any other non-balding person isn't really going to "understand" fully unless they have the problem themselves.

That doesn't mean they don't emphasise with you and appreciate that it's a difficult thing to deal with.

All that said, I'm not going to cry in anybody's arms. It seems some guys on here would rather the likes of me break down, quit my job and wallow in self pity. No, i'd rather be a man, make the best of a shitty situation and live my life.

I have the luxury of having a supportive girl, family and have a otherwise good life. But even if i didn't , I'd still realise there is more to life than hair. Noone likes the bald guy who feels sorry for himself simply because noo ne likes anyone who self-pities themselves.

 

[slipy]

hair people underestimate the devastating power of male pattern baldness. untill it hits their door, and even at 50 some men get really concerned about it.... humans are hypocritical... but thats old news.
i have more respect for guys who are honest and say things like "i dont know how i would handle this" "this will ruin me" etc etc... there is not a single sole on this plant who wouldn't mind going bald..... :jackit: dont let them fuckers tell you otherwise!

yeah, talking about it is useless and can even be frustrating facing ignorant statements. so the best course of action is to never instigate hair discussions, as well as to ignore if someone else starts to talk about it. keep the pain to yourself and your bald brothas on HairLossTalk.com.

Is that in reply to my comment?

Not sure....

it was, but don't get too worked up over it.

 

[buckeyeblitz]

I agree with some of the previous posters when they say that it's sort of a catch 22 when someone brings up your baldness. If they downplay it, they don't understand how hard it is. If they pick on you for it, they are assholes. If they speak candidly about it, they're rude.

I'm not blaming you for being upset over it, I can completely relate. However, remember to be lenient with other people discussing your baldness. Your gut will tell you whether they're being malicious or not.

I turned 23 today (happy birthday to me), and I'm a full NW3, and it's going fast. Being in your early 20s and losing your hair can be devastating. It really sucks, especially at two specific points.

1. When you notice it's happening
2. When everyone else starts to notice

I know you've heard it all before, but it DOES get easier. Everyday you wake up and look in the mirror and see your balding head, it feels a tiny bit less devastating, and a tiny bit more normal.

I am about a sensitive a guy as there is, and about 2 years ago I really peaked in my insecurity about my baldness. Now, I'm really reaching a point where I can say that I'm not afraid of being insulted for my baldness, or called out for it. You just learn to accept it, and work on what you can control.

Part of being an adult is letting go of the false reality that someday you can perfect yourself. We all have this pipe dream fueled by the media that someday we can have a perfect body, a perfect job, a perfect woman, and a classy/witty thing to say at every bend in a conversation. Going bald in your early 20's brings this sobering reality to life much earlier, and perhaps you will come to realize it faster than our peers. It's depressing at times, but it can also be liberating to a degree, when you realize the following:

Look around you for a day. Look at everybody else in this world. Nobody is perfect, and most are FAR from it. It's okay to be bald. When you go out to the mall, to a restaurant, to the gym, wherever, how many perfect people do you see?

 

[Mens Rea]

it was, but don't get too worked up over it.

I won't.

My advice to you, however, is that don't use baldness as an 'excuse' to shy away from relationships. Don't pull that whole "oh im so misunderstood" stuff.

For example, my partner is sympathetic about my male pattern baldness. Just like i would be sympathetic about a bad period or some other female problem. If you want someone to fully "relate" to you and your baldness you'll probably have to find a gay balding male. However, even those probably won't be as worried about baldness than most on here!!

male pattern baldness is a male problem, we have to deal with it. It sucks, and most family members etc will sympathetise if they realise it annoys you. Although personally that makes no difference to me. It is what is it and regardless if a friend loves or hates my male pattern baldness it doesn't actually matter to me because it doesn't change a thing on the top of my head.

I suppose some will argue it sucks to "be alone" in this battle but that is the reality anyway. Just like anyone is alone for any defect they are born with. That's life.