Why men are not allowed to grief of hair loss?

[Ori83]

I really asking, i mean even on this site, someone share a little rant and get flamed like he doesnt allowed to "cry" over his hair, same in personal life, when i tell people close to me that i feel bad about losing my hair immediately they shut down and think its all in my head... i dont get it, why we are not allowed to grief over our hair loss?
extreme example: when someone dies, close family and friends being supportive and understanding, but something like hair loss - for some reason - perceived as some minor thing that you just can get over in a blink of an eye.

what would happened if i lose my nose? or even a finger, i bet people would be much more understanding and supportive...

(sorry about the rant, had to take some out.)

 

[MrBastard]

I see your point, but... Comparing hairloss to a funural is a bit over the top. And losing your nose? Nice imagination :whistle: All the 3 things you compare it vs is important things, hairloss is just cosmetic in the end. An it have bin there for ages, losing a nose/finger is not a everyday thing

 

[MrBastard]

Just to add 1 thing. If a friend of you did not have the looks with him, harloss or no hairloss. Whould you have supported him or tell him things like looks aint all?

 

[kthxbi]

I see your point, but... Comparing hairloss to a funural is a bit over the top. And losing your nose? Nice imagination :whistle: All the 3 things you compare it vs is important things, hairloss is just cosmetic in the end. An it have bin there for ages, losing a nose/finger is not a everyday thing

true but on a similar level it is taken a lot more seriously when women get depressed about being fat than when men get depressed about losing hair.
i think it stems down to the fact that maybe people are just too embarassed to talk about it. its not something many people would like talking about, and thats if they can even empathise or relate to it.

 

[theShade]

1. It's purely cosmetic, it's not a disability or physical/mental disadvantage.
2. It's common, even amongst younger ages.
3. It's part of the natural aging process, men are expected to go bald at some point.
4. Plenty of men aren't good looking even with hair. Hairloss doesn't neccesserily mean that you would look worse than them, or that you won't be good looking even without hair.
5. We're men not women, we're expected not to be vain and not be crybabies about our appearance. The idea of a man who is terrified over losing his hair and tries in desperation to stop it is often ridiculed and used in humour for good reason.

 

[theShade]

1. It's purely cosmetic, it's not a disability or physical/mental disadvantage.
2. It's common, even amongst younger ages.
3. It's part of the natural aging process, men are expected to go bald at some point.
4. Plenty of men aren't good looking even with hair. Hairloss doesn't neccesserily mean that you would look worse than them, or that you won't be good looking even without hair.
5. We're men not women, we're expected not to be vain and not be crybabies about our appearance. The idea of a man who is terrified over losing his hair and tries in desperation to stop it is often ridiculed and used in humour for good reason.

Good point, but it isn't acceptable for society to condone riduculing men over losing their hair, IMO.

Perhaps you're right, but it is the way it is. No point trying to say that it shouldn't be so, it changes nothing. It certainly doesn't help that men who do try to keep their hair use all sorts of ridiculous remedies, eggs on head, and often try to do all this in secret, as they are afraid society might call them out on their vanity

I will say this though; right now out of the millions of men who lose their hair, the majority do nothing about it or make only some half-assed efforts. When methods come out that enable men to cheaply, safetly and easily retain their hair or regrow it, than the subject will no longer be anywhere near as tabboo and men might be expected to retain their hair, the same as for example replacing lost teeth.

 

[Ori83]

I will say this though; right now out of the millions of men who lose their hair, the majority do nothing about it or make only some half-assed efforts.

Dont be so sure... i've already seen people with no hair loss at all that take the pill....just in case

 

[s.a.f]

1. It's purely cosmetic, it's not a disability or physical/mental disadvantage.
2. It's common, even amongst younger ages.
3. It's part of the natural aging process, men are expected to go bald at some point.
4. Plenty of men aren't good looking even with hair. Hairloss doesn't neccesserily mean that you would look worse than them, or that you won't be good looking even without hair.
5. We're men not women, we're expected not to be vain and not be crybabies about our appearance. The idea of a man who is terrified over losing his hair and tries in desperation to stop it is often ridiculed and used in humour for good reason.

1) Yes its not physicly debilitating but emotionally it is.

2) Its not Uncommon but its is minority looking around at guys in 20's about 70 - 80% have a relativly full head of hair (NW1/NW2).
Even in 30/40's guys who are NW4+ will still only make up about 20%.

3) Its natural but again men are not all expected to go bald. Nearly all lose some hair with ageing yes but often only when they are actually old.

4) Yeah not all men look good but pretty much all baldies know (even if their ugly) they would look better with hair.

5) Totally true.

 

[somone uk]

1. It's purely cosmetic, it's not a disability or physical/mental disadvantage.
2. It's common, even amongst younger ages.
3. It's part of the natural aging process, men are expected to go bald at some point.
4. Plenty of men aren't good looking even with hair. Hairloss doesn't neccesserily mean that you would look worse than them, or that you won't be good looking even without hair.
5. We're men not women, we're expected not to be vain and not be crybabies about our appearance. The idea of a man who is terrified over losing his hair and tries in desperation to stop it is often ridiculed and used in humour for good reason.

1) like it or not people are superficial, if this wasn't the case the ipod wouldn't be the best selling mp3 player but would of been outsold by it's technologically superior rivals and at a young age it does have a lot of social connotations
also looks plays a large part in self-esteem if you don't feel good about looking good (therefore feeling bad about looking bad)

2) not really i don't know anyone else (apart form my dad) who had a receding hairline at 18 , i am 21 now and i can say say statistics states there are more people who fall into the category of Ronald Reagan and nelson Mandela (not losing any hair despite an old age)

3i) people would agree if someone was 40 but 20 is the age where people should feel young, lively, vein and feeling like they are going to be young forever, it's probably the worst thing that could happen to someone that age, and i am pretty sure the vast majority of the people here were unaware that it was even possible for a 20 year old to even have a receding hairline

3ii) just because it's "natural" it doesn't suddenly mean it's a acceptable thing to happen, saying something is natural is merely putting your head in the sand, some of man's best achievements is in the process of defeating nature

4) doesn't really add to your plus points unless your're vin diesel. apart from hair loss most of the other problems are solvable to a satisfactory level

5) i find it a despicable notion that "men have to be men" not only it's a stereotype but it's obliging men to follow that stereotype and this very comment actually still raises this confusion i have about this.....WHY ARE YOU HERE if haiross is such a non-problem to you?

you are quite obviously a nw2 probably in their early 30's and it would be ridiculous to expect you to view hairloss in the same way as it is viewed by a nw4 in their early 20's

 

[Hoppi]

I have no idea. I think it's because it's so common for guys. Doesn't mean it is pleasant in ANY way though, and I hope we see better and better treatments for it in the future!

I am very grateful for HairLossTalk.com and forums like this because they remind me I am not alone in wanting to keep my hair

 

[cuebald]

lol.

I bet in 5 or so years time some miracle cure will come out that will prevent men from going bald forever - but won't regrow any hair in men who have already lost it.

That way everyone will just prevent their loss in the first place, nobody will go bald, hence there will be no money in a cure that regrows hair back. We'll be the last baldies ever to unfortunately roam the earth.

 

[Hoppi]

Ah actually Cuebald, I think it's more likely to be the other way around, due to emerging stem cell technology and projects like Histogen.

I believe the only way to kill hair loss permanently for existing hairs is to work out how to calm down the receptors / follicles, or alter the relevant genes.

 

[somone uk]

Ah actually Cuebald, I think it's more likely to be the other way around, due to emerging stem cell technology and projects like Histogen.

I believe the only way to kill hair loss permanently for existing hairs is to work out how to calm down the receptors / follicles, or alter the relevant genes.

well that's assuming histogen and ARI don't flop
ARI are unlikely but histogen have had legal trouble and no products on the market supporting them
the problem with histogen is that they lose all investment quite quickly. after all the inverters are interested in what's profitable, not what's beneficial to others

maybe HairLossTalk.com users should donate money to their reserch :innocent:

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

No ones saying your allowed or not. I guess men arent meant to be over sensitive about their appearance, its not a desirable male trait. So with good reason. But no doubt all men who go bald go through some level of personal suffering.

Thats why forums like this exist. Because most of us are probably, by and large, normal, functioning people in society. We cant and dont walk around like complete sops. The idea that people could be so self obsessed that they would walk around crying over their hairloss and unable to function in day to day life would be somewhat bizarre as far as im concerned. We need to some kind of outlet to release all the depression and crap we believe we are attached to.

Right now, im quite unhappy. Usually im pretty positive on here. But sometimes life gets me down. Just the way life is over in a flash. The thought of growing old and dying is always on my mind.

The thought that im wasting my life. That im not living up to my potential. I wonder whether I even have any potential? Will I ever amount to anything?

At least when I had more or less perfect hair I was more attractive. What depresses me was looking back on some girls I used to draw. Some really bueatifull ones. I look back at that stage - perhaps with rose tinted glasses - and remember a me with so much more energy and positivity. And I knew I was more attractive. My hair isnt that far back yet. But Its still effected the way I look. I just get this biting feeling that ill never attract that type of women again. Ill never do it. I just feel I cant keep up. Everyday seems like a battle.

But tbh, now I dont even think hair loss is what makes me unhappy. Now Ive forgotten why im unhappy. Its just like you become unhappy. and you forget why or how you even got to this stage.

Its just such a rat race sometimes. All of life. Everyones out for themselves. Theres so much pressure to look great the whole time. I feel akward going onto my campus in old/crap clothes. My health is crap, I feel and look like crap. My diet is crap.

And Ive said so many days that 'tomorrow' will be the day that my life improves that ive stopped listening to that constant tape called living in the promise of tomorrow. All ive got is now. Just this somewhat functioning student. Shy often, yet talkative and outgoing at others. Often unhappy.

But I have hope. I know Im on a downer atm and I will pick myself up. Its just right now I feel quite low. I wake up feeling low. I go to sleep feeling low. Its hard to shake.

When I look at the reality of my life - like what am I actually doing - its all so minimal. No girlfriend. No job. Just a 'student'. Declining health and looks. Increasing apathy and depression. I just dont know where to begin sometimes.

 

[Ori83]

Very interesting, if you know you are unhappy why dont you try to break that cycle?
i've been throw that period too, im not saying that im happy 100% of the time but the difference is that once i felt a little better i started doing things to improve my life further, eating well, quite drinking (alcohol and coffee - i was heavy on the two), doing some sports and recently i've decided that i want to volunteer in a near by school, i think the more positive things you have and do in life the less its likely that youll fall into depression...

(and btw, maybe some anti-depression pills {after consulting with a doctor ofc} could be the first step, many many people are on them.. half my family and friends as far as i know :dunno: )

 

[Hope4hairRedux]

Very interesting, if you know you are unhappy why dont you try to break that cycle? i've been throw that period too, im not saying that im happy 100% of the time but the difference is that once i felt a little better i started doing things to improve my life further, eating well, quite drinking (alcohol and coffee - i was heavy on the two), doing some sports and recently i've decided that i want to volunteer in a near by school, i think the more positive things you have and do in life the less its likely that youll fall into depression...

(and btw, maybe some anti-depression pills {after consulting with a doctor ofc} could be the first step, many many people are on them.. half my family and friends as far as i know :dunno: )

This is what I tell myself often lol. In general - I wouldnt say I am always depressed - I dont think I suffer from 'clinical' depression. Im more in the middle. But during winter and at certian times my mood is on the whole just a lot lower.

But your right, its all about being pro-active. Its weird really how it works. You obviously need to change your lifestyle a bit - but the very things that are probably contributing to your depression are what you rely on as a crux for feeling low. All the coffee/alcohol, snacks etc. So its a vicious cycle. Perhaps the same way that fat people compensate for feeling sh*t with more eating. Depressed people also end up in similar cycles, repeating behavoiral patterns that re-inforce feelings of low self worth. And thats what depression really is - low self worth. Feeling inadaquate. So its not hard to see how hairloss can make it really hard for guys, especially when there is so much pressure in society to look great thesedays.

I dont really feel depressed in summer, its winter mainly. So I think im particularly sensitive to the seasons and the enviroment around me, I guess we all are. I think hairloss still has some depressing factors for me but its more in the background. Its not at the forefront of my thinking anymore. I dont think its a direct cause but its definitely part of it. The fact that you know that your looks are fading at only 21 is hard to take. I accept it and try not to make a big deal out of it, but sometimes its hard not to think, f***, how much easierwould it be if I was still norwo0d 1-2.

So you dont drink coffee or alcohol at all now? thats impressive man. I go to university right now, so completely quiting alcohol will be tough. Its tough in the western world in general I think. Its like a measure between wanting to stop drinking and being healthier yet also losing the ability to go out and enjoy a drink with friends, which is good also.

I just suffer from this apathy. I know consuming alcohol, coffee, chocolate isnt helping. But I just stop caring sometimes.

 

[mpbsux20]

Man your story sounds a lot similar to mine.Unfortunately I have been diagnosed with Severe depressive disorder but I am trying my best not to take any anti depressants.A lot of my family members have gone down that path and I would not like to do the same.

 

[Belmondo]

Excellent thread.

Yes, male pattern baldness sucks AND we're expected to laugh about it and be 'a good sport'. uke:

 

[mpbsux20]

Hi Monty,
Since I was 10 years old,I have seen my old man go through this and even now he gets episodes of it once in a while.He has been living with it for the majority of his middle aged life and I respect him for everything he did for me inspite of his problem.People often look down upon guys with depression,they dont understand unless they go through it or someone else close to them does.

I am trying everything I can to fight it but I dont know how long I can do this before it gets the better of me.Compared to the beginning of this year,I feel much better.I no longer wake up with headaches in the morning and I dont feel sick during the day.I think I should go out more often,meet people,get myself a stable job and importantly not worry too much about the mistakes I have made in the past.

Thanks for sharing your story.

 

[mpbsux20]

You're right but my depression has been progressively getting better ever since I started taking finasteride which was 5 months back to be precise.Maybe the thought that I am doing something to fight hairloss rather than stand back and do nothing has helped me to some extent.