Why Is My Personality Slowly Disappearing?

[James5625]

First ever post on a hair loss forum, guess this just locks in how real this all is.

I was just wondering if anyone else has had a complete personality change due to going bald young? I used to be extremely active, have a large social group, and always be in a good mood, never nervous so worried about anything.

I realised I was receding at the temples when I was 21, at the time I had long hair so I had short back and sides done which looked pretty good and I was still happy. As winter 2015/2016 progressed my hair thinned on top rapidly, causing me to begin worrying a lot, checking in the mirror, videoing myself to see what it looked like. I started becoming more reserved and less outgoing. By summer 2016 my hair was so thin that when it got wet you could see large patches of scalp, so I buzzed it off completely, 1 all over.

I'm now 23 years old, Norwood 3.5 with a shaved head. I have gone from being a good looking guy, life and soul, happy go lucky, to a complete nobody. I'm socially anxious, insecure, and unmotivated. I look and feel about 10-15 years older than I really am, I feel awkward and out of place in clubs and bars and at uni.

I feel like my personality is being eroded, I no longer feel like the same as I was before and I really miss being that person.

Anyone relate? How can I become my old self again?

 

[dralex]

Holy sh*t you just described myself. I am also in college and 23 (NW3-3.5 with diffuse thinning now), and was super confident and outgoing before balding. I started noticeably losing my hair at 20 and I started losing it fast. Before balding my favorite thing in the world was going out clubbing or going to house parties. I would go out drinking 3 days a week with friends, and would bring a girl back like once a week on average. I was super outgoing and tried to be friends with literally everyone. I really thought life couldn't get any better, and all of a sudden hair loss kicked in big time. I still like getting drunk, but I dread going out now. I no longer keep in contact with the tons of people I used to know. I only have a close friend group now that I drink with, but I never go out without wearing a hat, and even then I don't like going out anymore. It is honestly pretty sad how much hair loss has changed my interests.

 

[James5625]

Would say it's nice to know I'm not alone but I'd rather you weren't in my situation cos it's so sh*t.
I'm the same with going out I used to love it, but now I go out like once a month and always wear my hat and just get myself really fucked so I barely know I'm there cos if I was sober I would be so socially anxious. I'm glad I'm at uni because I'm dreading seeing people in my hometown who used to know the old me. It will be so weird and awkward trying to casually laugh it off when all the questions about it come, I try to give off the impression that I like it and don't give a sh*t, but I obviously hate it.

I need to start going to the gym and get big cos that's literally the only redeeming thing you can do to improve yourself and possibly get some confidence back but it's hard when you're so unmotivated and anxious all the time

 

[whatevr]

Just hair loss doing what it's supposed to do, nothing new here.

 

[stachu]

Everyone has his own burden. Nobody is worse here. 95% of us experiencing lack of confidence when hair loss kicks in. So you're not unique then. Enjoy surfing HairLossTalk.com

 

[Roberto_72]

Sorry to read this experience but you are not the only one who has felt like this. Most of us who started thinning out young did not enjoy their youth as those who did not suffer from changes in their appearance.
Apparently such is life and I can assure you that unless you compensate with a transplant it will not get any better.

 

[James5625]

3 f*****g useless comments

 

[kj6723]

How can I become my old self again?

tbh will likely only happen with a combination of drugs and/or transplant, unless you can somehow manage to bring yourself mentally and emotionally to the point where you literally don't give a f*** about being bald

If neither of those is an option for you, you will likely need to find new interests and things to live for that don't revolve around you being an aesthetic, social butterfly

 

[James5625]

tbh will likely only happen with a combination of drugs and/or transplant, unless you can somehow manage to bring yourself mentally and emotionally to the point where you literally don't give a f*** about being bald

If neither of those is an option for you, you will likely need to find new interests and things to live for that don't revolve around you being an aesthetic, social butterfly

The drugs/transplant isn't an option. It's not affordable and even if it was I wouldn't do it. I want to reach that mental point of not giving a f***, but how?

There are genuinely loads of guys out there that don't give a f*** and are really cool/good looking. Not the stereotypical 'Statham/Willis/Rock' references either. Ive met/seen cool as f*** bald guys before, don't know how they manage it tho.

Anyone heard of Kelly Slater? I don't understand how he isn't the bald guy icon he's so much cooler than the classic vin diesel sh*t

 

[dralex]

The drugs/transplant isn't an option. It's not affordable and even if it was I wouldn't do it. I want to reach that mental point of not giving a f***, but how?

There are genuinely loads of guys out there that don't give a f*** and are really cool/good looking. Not the stereotypical 'Statham/Willis/Rock' references either. Ive met/seen cool as f*** bald guys before, don't know how they manage it tho.

Anyone heard of Kelly Slater? I don't understand how he isn't the bald guy icon he's so much cooler than the classic vin diesel sh*t

Because Kelly Slater isn't as famous, and he took a much bigger hit to his looks than those other guys when he lost his hair. No homo but that dude was like a 10 when he had hair. Also I have no idea why people say Vin Diesel. Dude is ugly as f*** with or without hair. Balding isn't a huge deal to some people. It only sucks when it destroys your looks. All depends on your face/skull features and shape, and the age it hits. Sucks to be bald in college as well because it is so unusual.

 

[Captain Rex]

3 f*****g useless comments

manufacture a complete ignorance button in your mind.
make friends whose looks are just like yours or doesn't care about your looks.
You will definitely get a friend.

do those things which made you carefree like -
1. listening to music,
2. gaming, ( I can give you the name of some interesting games if you ask)
3. research on hairloss over the net , gather info,( especially keep an eye on Riken CDB)
4. play chess (use grandmaster pc edition - they will teach you a lot of tricks in a systematic way)

DO's
____________
1. Be polite to others even when they make fun of your hairline. Don't show that you are annoyed because that's what they want and they will dig on that.
2. Don't even try to think about your future hairloss. Because nobody can make an estimate on that.
3. Keep them short in such a way that you don't have to use a comb and that it doesn't look like a shaved head also.

remember- hair transplant is the only solution for male pattern baldness and that too is possible in a limited window ( donor issue). Tsuji is the big deal here and it's gonna be costly. Hence, earn as much as possible. Don't let your hairloss ruin that. I don't want to be a sitting duck when the cure is discovered ( a hair transplant with an unlimited donor is a cure in my book). Study hard and be an exception in your society like a topper or the most intellectual person or something different for which people admires you. Once done that nobody can insult you on your face.

Conclusion
Be happy and make money, get the cure when it arrives. So do those things which makes you happy. It varies from person to person.
I told you mine.
now you tell me yours.

 

[whatevr]

3 f*****g useless comments

Perhaps you don't like to hear the truth, in that case you've come to the wrong place.

The only way to get your old self back is to get your hair back (whichever way possible). Sorry to say that, but that's the way it is.
Unless you insist on being delusional, after a while you're going to come to this conclusion yourself anyway.

 

[michel sapin]

OP sorry to say this to you, but if you were really concerned about your hair you would have started propecia when you were Norwood 2 . And if you would have been lucky you would have avoided this situation .

the situation is even worst for those you took meds when thay were Norwood 2 and ended up Norwood 3 .

 

[Captain Rex]

Perhaps you don't like to hear the truth, in that case you've come to the wrong place.

The only way to get your old self back is to get your hair back (whichever way possible). Sorry to say that, but that's the way it is.
Unless you insist on being delusional, after a while you're going to come to this conclusion yourself anyway.

exactly, those were not useless comments but instead useful ones.
the op was too harsh in his judgement.

The most interesting part is the delusional mindset, when you realise that it's the hair loss which is destroying your life, you f*****g end up destroying your life for real. Chances are that you may live a normal life until it gets worse.

All we have to do is keep the balance between this delusional mindset and reality.
reality says - if you are bald, your life is over.
delusion says - nothing is over, you will get all the opportunities like a fullhead head but unfortunately, it's not the case, you can't expect a girl to admire your looks when you are ugly.
But then again if we give up after knowing the reality, we won't feel the urge to succeed in our life. So, sometimes we will have to keep this delusional state of mind but within the limits.

 

[centurie]

Number 1 thing to do is buzz cut your hair, the second I did it I felt a massive burden lift off my chest. It made me realise that all the worry and stress I was putting into my hair was not worthwhile, you just have to accept you are balding and get on with it.

We all must also realise that those around us, friends/family, have their own issues and most likely couldn't care less whether we are balding or not.

At the end of the day going bald will hinder anyone at getting girls no matter what anyone says but so will having a poor personality or carrying a lot of weight. Improve what you can about yourself and don't worry about those things you can't change. It's not worth while spending years of our lives stressing over things that are inevitable, just cherish the years you have on earth and try and train yourself to have a positive outlook on things. Also jump on treatments if you want to improve your hair situation, minoxidil + propecia would help out a lot but at the end of the day you're just delaying an inevitable process.

Goodluck mate

 

[Starscream]

The drugs/transplant isn't an option. It's not affordable and even if it was I wouldn't do it. I want to reach that mental point of not giving a f***, but how?

Basically you are asking how to become phisically less attractive at a young age but still being confident. Can I ask you confident in what? In yourself? You can achieve it by being successful at work but still you would lack confidence in your physical aspect. This has always been a no brainer for me. The only people who are really confident in theirselves (and by this I mean confidence in your physical aspect) are the ones with a pretty face and a decent/hot body, boys or girls it doesn't matter. All the rest is just a bunch of lies.
Yes you can always be successful at work, make money etc...I mean this surely helps, as it helps being rich by family money but still it will never change the lack of confidence in yourself in the mirror.

If you are talking about being confident in yourself in other fields then the answers are different but I don't think this is the subject, is it?

And yes there are guys who looks good even with a balding head, like, Jason Statham, Kelly Slater or Fredrik Ljungberg but it's not that common.

 

[James5625]

Perhaps you don't like to hear the truth, in that case you've come to the wrong place.

The only way to get your old self back is to get your hair back (whichever way possible). Sorry to say that, but that's the way it is.
Unless you insist on being delusional, after a while you're going to come to this conclusion yourself anyway.

Nah they were alll completely useless as is that one. My post was framed to seek advice which may help me regain previous confidence and lifestyle, none of those comments were relevant or useful, hence useless. All they did was say my problem isn't unique. No sh*t.

 

[James5625]

OP sorry to say this to you, but if you were really concerned about your hair you would have started propecia when you were Norwood 2 . And if you would have been lucky you would have avoided this situation .

the situation is even worst for those you took meds when thay were Norwood 2 and ended up Norwood 3 .

Completely disagree. A guy is allowed to be concerned about balding without feeling the necessity to take drugs which possibly cause impotence. Why anyone would actually risk that isn't something that makes sense to me. Health comes before appearance.

 

[James5625]

manufacture a complete ignorance button in your mind.
make friends whose looks are just like yours or doesn't care about your looks.
You will definitely get a friend.

do those things which made you carefree like -
1. listening to music,
2. gaming, ( I can give you the name of some interesting games if you ask)
3. research on hairloss over the net , gather info,( especially keep an eye on Riken CDB)
4. play chess (use grandmaster pc edition - they will teach you a lot of tricks in a systematic way)

DO's
____________
1. Be polite to others even when they make fun of your hairline. Don't show that you are annoyed because that's what they want and they will dig on that.
2. Don't even try to think about your future hairloss. Because nobody can make an estimate on that.
3. Keep them short in such a way that you don't have to use a comb and that it doesn't look like a shaved head also.

remember- hair transplant is the only solution for male pattern baldness and that too is possible in a limited window ( donor issue). Tsuji is the big deal here and it's gonna be costly. Hence, earn as much as possible. Don't let your hairloss ruin that. I don't want to be a sitting duck when the cure is discovered ( a hair transplant with an unlimited donor is a cure in my book). Study hard and be an exception in your society like a topper or the most intellectual person or something different for which people admires you. Once done that nobody can insult you on your face.

Conclusion
Be happy and make money, get the cure when it arrives. So do those things which makes you happy. It varies from person to person.
I told you mine.
now you tell me yours.

Haha cheers mate, might give the chess a miss though!

 

[James5625]

Number 1 thing to do is buzz cut your hair, the second I did it I felt a massive burden lift off my chest. It made me realise that all the worry and stress I was putting into my hair was not worthwhile, you just have to accept you are balding and get on with it.

Yeah man I buzzed it off a while ago, I'm not one to try and hide it. Buzz suits me fairly well which is why I dunno why I'm even bothered about it all. I go through a phase of not giving a f*** for a week then I have a few days like this where I'm gutted! Weird!