Why Don't They Get itt?

worrywart

Established Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
7
Recently, Ive decided to get a hair transplant and almost everyone I know rolls their eyes upon hearing this. "you could spend the money on so much more better things" "You could go on a trip" "here's a thought, why not just shave your head and be liberated" "You just need to love yourself" "A hair transplant wont make you happy, you'll just find something else to obsess over."

Do people really lack the insight into the impact of hair loss? Go on a trip? Why? so I can compulsively cover my head with hats and avoid swimming? Love myself? I want a transplant because I do love myself and I want to feel like a whole person again. Do they really think shaving your head and embracing your baldness is liberating? It's so hard to express my trauma and depression over losing my hair when its not valid. Yet, society condemns those without their hair. We shouldn't care our hair is gone, but at the same time we should accept and liberate ourselves by submitting to the stigma of 'the bald guy." These people.....man...these people
 

shookwun

Senior Member
Reaction score
6,092
Stupid **** they all say "you will find something else to obsess over" "love yourself for who you are"

Always these morons with great lifes handed on a silver platter, and everything seems to work out, and fall into place.



Kinda hard when people judge a book by it's cover, and discriminate over everything. it's all about perception, and what people see. it doesn't matter how educated, and creatively thought you are when what we see is how we perceive.
 

xapato

Member
Reaction score
5
Hair entails a zero sum game. If I have more hair than you, I gain more status/chicks/cash in the environment and beat you in some zero sum game between you and me. If by some process we both experience equivalent changes in hair, that process is not a zero sum game. If, however, there is a third player who may experience non equivalent changes in hair, a zero sum subgame is entailed such that some players gain more status/chicks/cash in the environment as a result of the game. In a zero sum game, it is in most cases rational to hide your motive. Appearing unconcerned helps to get more status/chicks/cash. In some cases, such as when you're with someone who is much lower ranked in the zero sum game, you deny the existence of the zero sum game. It's a taboo, sort of like it's sort of a taboo to discuss class. On this forum, most people stand to gain something. What's good for me is usually good for you, and vice versa. But not entirely. So, sometimes there are non zero sum subgames without much awkwardness, but awkwardness is always there outside of a vacuum. Another dynamic is that if most bald people say "I don't mind", it discourages other bald people from admitting that they mind. And alternatively, some people with good hair may choose to flaunt the fact that they are winning in the zero sum game, employing a sort of "blow me" strategy, occasionally coupled with sarcastic pseudo ignorance.

It may seem as if my explanation doesn't really explain why someone would deny that baldness is a problem. Often, a player doesn't stand to gain anything by denying the existence of the zero sum game. But people often follow patterns irrespective of the context; some people just lack the skill to handle conversations about zero sum games. The wiring is similar. So people are not always malicious when they deny that baldness is a problem. They may just need someone to guide them through the topic. And some people are just assholes. It's probably hard to tell them apart, and someone who knows how to talk about a zero sum game smoothly might be a total a**h**.
 

arfy

Established Member
Reaction score
17
All of those quotes are basically true, whether you know it or not.

You could spend your money on something better (graduate school, a downpayment on a house, etc)
Shave your head and be liberated (guys who do this signal that they don't give a damn, even if they are faking it. Hair is no longer an issue. Don't think a transplant means the end of "hair worry" -- it usually doesn't)
You need to love yourself more (self acceptance... nobody gives a **** about your hair, you're the only one who really cares in the end. It's a real shame that guys are so ashamed of hair loss, something they have no control over).

Hair loss bothers some people so much that they feel almost self-destructive, and are willing to risk their health with experimental treatments, or go to surgical extremes which are essentially self-destructive (hair flaps, scalp reductions and all kinds of insane surgeries. It's not all FUE out there, guys).

Hair loss is a trait like red hair, freckles, shortness, etc. It won't prevent you from doing anything in life. I don't care what your interest is (being a rock musician, actor, whatever). Hair loss is only an issue if you let it be an issue. In your 20s, females might prefer guys with hair. But in your 30s and above, it matters a lot less. (Some women might always care, but plenty of women don't - I see good looking women with bald or balding guys all the time).

I might be on board with your sentiment if hair transplants were worry-free procedures that helped everybody no matter what their situation, with no drawbacks or limitations, and all the doctors were honest ethical and competent. But that is hardly the case. Only certain guys with specific characteristics do really well with hair transplants. Everybody else has average results (or below). In my opinion, average results aren't worth it. As somebody with below-average results, I have been forced to learn a lot about hair transplants, and all the ways that things can go wrong. They are far from perfect. It's surgery, and there's usually no going backwards. You can do okay as a balding guy (with dating, career, etc). It's harder to do okay as a guy with a generic looking hair transplant. But that's what most people get! Not because they wanted average results - but that's just the reality of what hair transplants can accomplish.

A big problem in general is that most guys are being motivated to get transplants by their insecurity. That can lead to bad decisions. In some cases, the doctors use your own insecurity as leverage to sell you on surgery. It makes guys able to only see the up side of transplants, and none of the down sides. For example, when you look at another guys' results, you only see the hair (and not the scalp showing through). Here's the thing though - if you're insecure about hair loss, insecure enough to get surgery, you are likely to also be insecure about your hair transplant (Can anybody tell? I can't wait to save up for the next one, etc). The vast majority of guys with hair loss DON'T get hair transplants - what's wrong with them, are they stupid? Or are they just less insecure than guys like us?

One more thing - hair loss affects basically everybody. From what I've read, 20% of guys in their 20s are losing hair, 30% of guys in their 30s are losing hair, 40% of guys in their 40s, etc etc. As you get older, all your friends will be losing their hair too. But you'll probably be the only one who resorted to getting a hair transplant, and your results will probably only be average. And the older you get, you will continue to lose hair, meaning your transplant will not look as good (guys with transplants get a huge benefit from their original hair mixing in with the transplanted hair, but eventually those hairs are lost). Even transplanted hair is not permanent (age related hair loss is a real thing). It's better to be bald than to have a hair transplant that doesn't look good.

I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm lecturing you - I wish somebody had told me all this before I had gotten a transplant. Now when I see young guys who are losing their hair, and they seem to be taking it in stride ("balding gracefully" it's called) I'm a little jealous. I wish that I had enough self-confidence to bald gracefully too. Propecia wasn't available when I first started dealing with it. I think Propecia is a reasonable option. Transplants can be reasonable too, but only for certain specific cases. They are not a good option for every single guy with hair loss! I really wish they were! But that's not the truth of the situation!

If guys want to get transplants, try not to do it out of insecurity. Don't decide on surgery from a position of weakness, it can lead to making mistakes. I know this very well.

- - - Updated - - -

One more thing: For all I know, the original post was from a guy who is a great candidate, and a transplant will really change his life for the better. But I think it might be more complicated than that (it might be a good idea, it might not be) and there's also a chance that getting a transplant is a mistake too. For plenty of guys, it can be a mistake. If we can't discuss that possibility, then forums like this are worthless.
 

Mach

Established Member
Reaction score
87
I go to the gym, eat decent and rarely drink. Friends ask why, you look great. Enjoy your life. I say in my head "why, so I can look like your fat a$$"
I hired an image consultant a year or so ago. Again I'm told you look great why did you hire him.

To me life is about bettering myself. I guess I was always competitive.

Arfty has some great points. Do your homework.
 

HairApparent

New Member
Reaction score
0
New member here. I have a question - what are the ideal conditions for a successful hair transplant?


All of those quotes are basically true, whether you know it or not.

You could spend your money on something better (graduate school, a downpayment on a house, etc)
Shave your head and be liberated (guys who do this signal that they don't give a damn, even if they are faking it. Hair is no longer an issue. Don't think a transplant means the end of "hair worry" -- it usually doesn't)
You need to love yourself more (self acceptance... nobody gives a **** about your hair, you're the only one who really cares in the end. It's a real shame that guys are so ashamed of hair loss, something they have no control over).

Hair loss bothers some people so much that they feel almost self-destructive, and are willing to risk their health with experimental treatments, or go to surgical extremes which are essentially self-destructive (hair flaps, scalp reductions and all kinds of insane surgeries. It's not all FUE out there, guys).

Hair loss is a trait like red hair, freckles, shortness, etc. It won't prevent you from doing anything in life. I don't care what your interest is (being a rock musician, actor, whatever). Hair loss is only an issue if you let it be an issue. In your 20s, females might prefer guys with hair. But in your 30s and above, it matters a lot less. (Some women might always care, but plenty of women don't - I see good looking women with bald or balding guys all the time).

I might be on board with your sentiment if hair transplants were worry-free procedures that helped everybody no matter what their situation, with no drawbacks or limitations, and all the doctors were honest ethical and competent. But that is hardly the case. Only certain guys with specific characteristics do really well with hair transplants. Everybody else has average results (or below). In my opinion, average results aren't worth it. As somebody with below-average results, I have been forced to learn a lot about hair transplants, and all the ways that things can go wrong. They are far from perfect. It's surgery, and there's usually no going backwards. You can do okay as a balding guy (with dating, career, etc). It's harder to do okay as a guy with a generic looking hair transplant. But that's what most people get! Not because they wanted average results - but that's just the reality of what hair transplants can accomplish.

A big problem in general is that most guys are being motivated to get transplants by their insecurity. That can lead to bad decisions. In some cases, the doctors use your own insecurity as leverage to sell you on surgery. It makes guys able to only see the up side of transplants, and none of the down sides. For example, when you look at another guys' results, you only see the hair (and not the scalp showing through). Here's the thing though - if you're insecure about hair loss, insecure enough to get surgery, you are likely to also be insecure about your hair transplant (Can anybody tell? I can't wait to save up for the next one, etc). The vast majority of guys with hair loss DON'T get hair transplants - what's wrong with them, are they stupid? Or are they just less insecure than guys like us?

One more thing - hair loss affects basically everybody. From what I've read, 20% of guys in their 20s are losing hair, 30% of guys in their 30s are losing hair, 40% of guys in their 40s, etc etc. As you get older, all your friends will be losing their hair too. But you'll probably be the only one who resorted to getting a hair transplant, and your results will probably only be average. And the older you get, you will continue to lose hair, meaning your transplant will not look as good (guys with transplants get a huge benefit from their original hair mixing in with the transplanted hair, but eventually those hairs are lost). Even transplanted hair is not permanent (age related hair loss is a real thing). It's better to be bald than to have a hair transplant that doesn't look good.

I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm lecturing you - I wish somebody had told me all this before I had gotten a transplant. Now when I see young guys who are losing their hair, and they seem to be taking it in stride ("balding gracefully" it's called) I'm a little jealous. I wish that I had enough self-confidence to bald gracefully too. Propecia wasn't available when I first started dealing with it. I think Propecia is a reasonable option. Transplants can be reasonable too, but only for certain specific cases. They are not a good option for every single guy with hair loss! I really wish they were! But that's not the truth of the situation!

If guys want to get transplants, try not to do it out of insecurity. Don't decide on surgery from a position of weakness, it can lead to making mistakes. I know this very well.

- - - Updated - - -

One more thing: For all I know, the original post was from a guy who is a great candidate, and a transplant will really change his life for the better. But I think it might be more complicated than that (it might be a good idea, it might not be) and there's also a chance that getting a transplant is a mistake too. For plenty of guys, it can be a mistake. If we can't discuss that possibility, then forums like this are worthless.
 

christinethoma

Member
My Regimen
Reaction score
3
They really dont know what you're going through. I think it would be best to choose what makes you feel better, and not think what other is saying about you.
 

Norwood One

Experienced Member
Reaction score
139
HairApparent. First off, make sure you have male pattern baldness, second, go to a hair transplant surgeon and get a consultation.

Only he can correctly assess what pattern your baldness is heading, how many grafts you need. I believe most people reccomend you don't go for a transplant before you hit Norwood-3
 

Pequod

Experienced Member
Reaction score
98
I just booked my next hair transplant and am happy with my first. Don't listen to those people, it will make you very happy to have hair grow back where there wasn't any before.
 

shookwun

Senior Member
Reaction score
6,092
hair transplants are addicting though, be careful! After being restored, don't be alarmed if you suddenly want to go through, and another procedure for adding density.

Don't try and be cheap! Go with a reputable surgeon, and you will be very happy with your end result.


The hardest part is waiting to grow.
 

yadayada029

Established Member
Reaction score
34
I think this guy hit some really strong points. I'm often perplexed at some of the remarks gushing over, what look to me like, smoke on the guys' heads. The number of graft hairs available, even in extreme cases of really strong donor areas, is still not sufficient to give thick hair. There are some great hair transplant doctors, but it's always easy it seems to spot the bald patch, or scalp through, the transplanted grown out hair.

It's what gives me pause in regards to hair transplant's, and I have, and do still consider them. They usually require multiple sessions, cost a bundle, in the case of FUE-require a shaved head, and (as if balding itself isn't awkward enough) an "ugly duckling period" (swelling, scabbing, etc.). After all that they still don't seem to pass the eye test.

I understand the desire for them, but they deserve serious contemplation about results balanced against risks, costs, and evaluating the social impact on yourself (how coworkers, friend and family members will react). Results vary a lot, and it seems there are more bad ones then good ones.




All of those quotes are basically true, whether you know it or not.

You could spend your money on something better (graduate school, a downpayment on a house, etc)
Shave your head and be liberated (guys who do this signal that they don't give a damn, even if they are faking it. Hair is no longer an issue. Don't think a transplant means the end of "hair worry" -- it usually doesn't)
You need to love yourself more (self acceptance... nobody gives a **** about your hair, you're the only one who really cares in the end. It's a real shame that guys are so ashamed of hair loss, something they have no control over).

Hair loss bothers some people so much that they feel almost self-destructive, and are willing to risk their health with experimental treatments, or go to surgical extremes which are essentially self-destructive (hair flaps, scalp reductions and all kinds of insane surgeries. It's not all FUE out there, guys).

Hair loss is a trait like red hair, freckles, shortness, etc. It won't prevent you from doing anything in life. I don't care what your interest is (being a rock musician, actor, whatever). Hair loss is only an issue if you let it be an issue. In your 20s, females might prefer guys with hair. But in your 30s and above, it matters a lot less. (Some women might always care, but plenty of women don't - I see good looking women with bald or balding guys all the time).

I might be on board with your sentiment if hair transplants were worry-free procedures that helped everybody no matter what their situation, with no drawbacks or limitations, and all the doctors were honest ethical and competent. But that is hardly the case. Only certain guys with specific characteristics do really well with hair transplants. Everybody else has average results (or below). In my opinion, average results aren't worth it. As somebody with below-average results, I have been forced to learn a lot about hair transplants, and all the ways that things can go wrong. They are far from perfect. It's surgery, and there's usually no going backwards. You can do okay as a balding guy (with dating, career, etc). It's harder to do okay as a guy with a generic looking hair transplant. But that's what most people get! Not because they wanted average results - but that's just the reality of what hair transplants can accomplish.

A big problem in general is that most guys are being motivated to get transplants by their insecurity. That can lead to bad decisions. In some cases, the doctors use your own insecurity as leverage to sell you on surgery. It makes guys able to only see the up side of transplants, and none of the down sides. For example, when you look at another guys' results, you only see the hair (and not the scalp showing through). Here's the thing though - if you're insecure about hair loss, insecure enough to get surgery, you are likely to also be insecure about your hair transplant (Can anybody tell? I can't wait to save up for the next one, etc). The vast majority of guys with hair loss DON'T get hair transplants - what's wrong with them, are they stupid? Or are they just less insecure than guys like us?

One more thing - hair loss affects basically everybody. From what I've read, 20% of guys in their 20s are losing hair, 30% of guys in their 30s are losing hair, 40% of guys in their 40s, etc etc. As you get older, all your friends will be losing their hair too. But you'll probably be the only one who resorted to getting a hair transplant, and your results will probably only be average. And the older you get, you will continue to lose hair, meaning your transplant will not look as good (guys with transplants get a huge benefit from their original hair mixing in with the transplanted hair, but eventually those hairs are lost). Even transplanted hair is not permanent (age related hair loss is a real thing). It's better to be bald than to have a hair transplant that doesn't look good.

I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm lecturing you - I wish somebody had told me all this before I had gotten a transplant. Now when I see young guys who are losing their hair, and they seem to be taking it in stride ("balding gracefully" it's called) I'm a little jealous. I wish that I had enough self-confidence to bald gracefully too. Propecia wasn't available when I first started dealing with it. I think Propecia is a reasonable option. Transplants can be reasonable too, but only for certain specific cases. They are not a good option for every single guy with hair loss! I really wish they were! But that's not the truth of the situation!

If guys want to get transplants, try not to do it out of insecurity. Don't decide on surgery from a position of weakness, it can lead to making mistakes. I know this very well.

- - - Updated - - -

One more thing: For all I know, the original post was from a guy who is a great candidate, and a transplant will really change his life for the better. But I think it might be more complicated than that (it might be a good idea, it might not be) and there's also a chance that getting a transplant is a mistake too. For plenty of guys, it can be a mistake. If we can't discuss that possibility, then forums like this are worthless.
 
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