Where are my friends now?

[Aplunk1]

I only have one friend in this world... only one, and that's my youngest brother.

Everyone I know goes away, sometime.

On Myspace, I type in my old friends' names, and up come their profiles, leading happy lives, in college, with no hairloss, with no worries, with happy families, with promising futures...

I have none of this...

I try to convince myself otherwise, but I know in reality I really don't.

I have nothing...

With or without hair, I still am playing with a poor deck of cards... not that I'm mentally handicapped, but I have had a shitty upbringing, with violence, abuse, and ignorance surrounding me for the last 21 years of my life.

I understand that hairloss has been proven to have psychological ramifications on all individuals, but I don't even think that having hair will make my situation any better.

I have no friends, none, except my youngest brother, and a dog, which isn't even mine.

I spend time with girls, and other people, but we aren't friends.

Friends can joke and talk, and be there for each other, but not for me.

None of my friends can be there for me, or show up for my birthday, or understand the type of life I've had...

Sometimes I think it might be easier on me to quit school and go live in Africa, away from society, and devote my entire life to provide medical services to the ill and hungry children there...

It just bothers me because in the last few years of my life, I've had no friends, or at least, no friends that last 'til this day.

Is it just me, or do any of you suffer like me, from being an inept friend in a so-called "friendship?"

 

[hair_tomorrow]

aplunk -

things go in cycles. Personally, I've always been very gregarious and loved being surrounded by a large circle of f"friends" which was always the case until I graduated from college and moved to a new city to start my "adult" life.

Suddenly, I was living alone, was alone most of the time, and very lonely.

I still had friends - but they were all very far away.

I wish I had those "lonely" years back. Instead of doing something productive w/ my personal life - I basically lived in the bars and clubs and drank too much and got mixed up/ the dregs of society.

If you have one good friend - even if its your brother - your way ahead of the game.

Someday you'll turn around and you'll be surrounded by people who love you, regarless of the number of hairs on your head. Until then - just do the best with what you've got.

 

[Felk]

That's a very good post above, i'd listen to it. As my wise greek grandfather always states "there is no substitute for the experiences of life"

Im in the same boat as you Aplunk. You finish school/college and suddenly you're alone. Im going to head hair_tomorrow's advice and make good use of my time...

 

[newguytothisforum]

I only have one friend in this world... only one, and that's my youngest brother.

Everyone I know goes away, sometime.

On Myspace, I type in my old friends' names, and up come their profiles, leading happy lives, in college, with no hairloss, with no worries, with happy families, with promising futures...

I have none of this...

I try to convince myself otherwise, but I know in reality I really don't.

I have nothing...

With or without hair, I still am playing with a poor deck of cards... not that I'm mentally handicapped, but I have had a shitty upbringing, with violence, abuse, and ignorance surrounding me for the last 21 years of my life.

I understand that hairloss has been proven to have psychological ramifications on all individuals, but I don't even think that having hair will make my situation any better.

I have no friends, none, except my youngest brother, and a dog, which isn't even mine.

I spend time with girls, and other people, but we aren't friends.

Friends can joke and talk, and be there for each other, but not for me.

None of my friends can be there for me, or show up for my birthday, or understand the type of life I've had...

Sometimes I think it might be easier on me to quit school and go live in Africa, away from society, and devote my entire life to provide medical services to the ill and hungry children there...

It just bothers me because in the last few years of my life, I've had no friends, or at least, no friends that last 'til this day.

Is it just me, or do any of you suffer like me, from being an inept friend in a so-called "friendship?"

i think we had the same upbringing like abuse and stuff like that...but as far as friends......dude......you need to make the initiative to attract and keep friends. i used to put in work with girls only and took my many many friends for granted thinking they will always be there but as people get older they start to lose more and more friends so you have to put in work with your friends....atleast as much as you put in work to get girls. i know exactly what your going through andy...every day there seems to be more and more problems in life. If i don't stress about my hair, i stress about girls, if not girls then money, if not money then some other bullsh1t but then it all comes back to hairloss.....tell me this isn't your case. I stress but after years of this it really doesn't effect my daily life, all it does is it bothers me. Look Andy, it might not sound good but your ALWAYS gonna stress about something, just like everyone else, but in your case you got hairloss in the mix so you gotta be stronger and work on what you can change and accept what you can't.

the hardest part is to accept all the bullsh1t but if i can then so can.

 

[kalbo]

You're way too hard on yourself Aplunk....

Having one or no friends is more common than you think. Sure, you may see a lot of ppl hanging out in big groups but if you ask each one of them how many "true" friends they have, the majority would probably say only one or two.

When I was younger I used to hang out in big groups all the time, but as I got older I realized that the majority of the ppl I hung out wouldn't be considered "true" friends. And when I thought about it, I actually only had one true friend from that group. Now-a-days, he's the only friend I see on a consistent basis (well, him and my brother) and the only one I can really talk to. Whereas the other ppl, I still see them on occasion but I'm still a little hesitant to call them "friends" .

So don't worry if your only friend is your brother. Trust me, you're not alone... Just go out, join some clubs, do some community work.... eventually, you'll find a few ppl you can click with and things will be fine. Just be patient and don't be so down on yourself....

 

[mu0325]

I only have one friend in this world... only one, and that's my youngest brother.

Everyone I know goes away, sometime.

On Myspace, I type in my old friends' names, and up come their profiles, leading happy lives, in college, with no hairloss, with no worries, with happy families, with promising futures...

I have none of this...

I try to convince myself otherwise, but I know in reality I really don't.

I have nothing...

With or without hair, I still am playing with a poor deck of cards... not that I'm mentally handicapped, but I have had a shitty upbringing, with violence, abuse, and ignorance surrounding me for the last 21 years of my life.

I understand that hairloss has been proven to have psychological ramifications on all individuals, but I don't even think that having hair will make my situation any better.

I have no friends, none, except my youngest brother, and a dog, which isn't even mine.

I spend time with girls, and other people, but we aren't friends.

Friends can joke and talk, and be there for each other, but not for me.

None of my friends can be there for me, or show up for my birthday, or understand the type of life I've had...

Sometimes I think it might be easier on me to quit school and go live in Africa, away from society, and devote my entire life to provide medical services to the ill and hungry children there...

It just bothers me because in the last few years of my life, I've had no friends, or at least, no friends that last 'til this day.

Is it just me, or do any of you suffer like me, from being an inept friend in a so-called "friendship?"

well Aplunk1 i feel you man i am lone *** just like you but with not even a brother next to me. last time i ve seen someone from my family was like 6 years ago they live overseas. i have relocated here in the state to go to college and i have moved alot around here and i have to tell you there is nothing worse than being lonely in a forigen country. but what i am going to do you have to play your cards and be the best you can be thats why i am rolling in school even though there was a year when i scrwed up and flunged just because i was pussy i was home sick and i was depressed...

i work on friday satuerday and sunday part time in a store and i go to the college full time. i have no social life whats so ever.

i see guys come to the store happy they have girl friends they love and they are being loved. i say tomorrow is going to be better.

so dont take it hard on yourself just have confident in yourself and try to be the best you can be because in the end its you who is going to benefit you not your friends or anyone else...

 

[Goingat20]

Hey Andy

Let me tell you something bro, i am surrounded by a lot of friends, but lately i have just taken a step back from them all. I just feel that they will be friends when they have the time to. If they are buzy or have something better to do they wont be around. Also i feel if i am better than them in any way they get jealous and not happy for me. I also have a close group but i think the same can be said about them. So dont worry friends will come friends will go, dont think about it too much!

 

[IBM]

.

 

[Aplunk1]

At least you have a girlfriend.....

If it's one thing I've learned, women come and go faster than friends do.

 

[IBM]

.

 

[hairwegoagain]

The worst thing is when they dont come.

You're the man..go get them.

 

[hairwegoagain]

If it's one thing I've learned, women come and go faster than friends do.

Wise words, and very true. Sometimes you look back and are thankful for that fact!

 

[hair_tomorrow]

At least you have a girlfriend.....

If it's one thing I've learned, women come and go faster than friends do.

The worst thing is when they dont come.

No . . . worse is when YOU don't ;-)

 

[Solo]

The worst thing is when they dont come.

Wait til you wish one to leave and then speak about what´s worst.

 

[IBM]

.

 

[hairwegoagain]

They is women as girlfriends not others.

That's exactly what Solo is talking about...a girl that for whatever reason you don't want to date anymore...one that won't leave you alone and refuses to take a hint. Pure hell.

 

[CCS]

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[CCS]

i just read everyone's posts. a lot of wise stuff said. I used to depend on patricia for 3 years for company and fun. now i see how her constantly looking down on me was weight me down emotionally. I told her one night that i thought I was settling for her in terms of human contact. she then made up an excuse on the spot for not wanting to be my friend, and i've not seen her since that night. i feel so much better now.

you'd be amazed how much more fun you can have when you look to yourself for fun, and are confortable around strangers that you know you'll never see again, and can just enjoy activities and not need their approval to be happy.

Andy, you sound like Church fodder. i'm worried you'll go trying to join clubs in hopes of meeting friends, instead of for the fun of the club, and then you will join a church, feel purpose from it and have a social circle, and later learn that they don't love you unless you keep going to church. i hope that if you don't already have a stable religious rutine, that you just stay steady and not go get one just to have friends. same goes for bars.

i used to feel sorry for myself, and felt like my years were passing me by, but then i realized that i rollerblade to and from work and through a beautiful college campus and have stars to look at in the sky and a huge park and zoo 3 miles away and almost no responsibility in life except to get good grades. these last 5 years have been a vacation and a learning experience. though I was unhappy through most of it because of my perspective, i now look back on my experiences and think, 'wow, that was cool riding my bike a night then, and riding my bike 22 miles per day to work up in the mountains. not many people do that.' as a young person you won't work 9-5, but usually will see multiple jobs, and many aspects of life around you. just learn to enjoy the experiences instead of dwelling on what you want but don't have.

 

[CCS]

i just read everyone's posts. a lot of wise stuff said. I used to depend on patricia for 3 years for company and fun. now i see how her constantly looking down on me was weight me down emotionally. I told her one night that i thought I was settling for her in terms of human contact. she then made up an excuse on the spot for not wanting to be my friend, and i've not seen her since that night. i feel so much better now.

you'd be amazed how much more fun you can have when you look to yourself for fun, and are confortable around strangers that you know you'll never see again, and can just enjoy activities and not need their approval to be happy.

Andy, you sound like Church fodder. i'm worried you'll go trying to join clubs in hopes of meeting friends, instead of for the fun of the club, and then you will join a church, feel purpose from it and have a social circle, and later learn that they don't love you unless you keep going to church. i hope that if you don't already have a stable religious rutine, that you just stay steady and not go get one just to have friends. same goes for bars.

i used to feel sorry for myself, and felt like my years were passing me by, but then i realized that i rollerblade to and from work and through a beautiful college campus and have stars to look at in the sky and a huge park and zoo 3 miles away and almost no responsibility in life except to get good grades. these last 5 years have been a vacation and a learning experience. though I was unhappy through most of it because of my perspective, i now look back on my experiences and think, 'wow, that was cool riding my bike a night then, and riding my bike 22 miles per day to work up in the mountains. not many people do that.' as a young person you won't work 9-5, but usually will see multiple jobs, and many aspects of life around you. just learn to enjoy the experiences instead of dwelling on what you want but don't have.

 

[Aplunk1]

I'm 21, live by myself, and work full-time at a local restaurant.

I frequent my brothers often, as they are only a 3.5 hour-drive away.

I don't know what a church fodder is, but I adhere to most Catholic law.

I find that I hate work, and rarely try to make friendships there. The restaurant business is the shadiest business I've ever worked in... waiters, bussers, chefs, linemen, GM's, etc... They all come off as nice, but they are greedy, stupid, and two-faced... at least, that's my experience.

Outside of work, I don't have the life I used to have.

I frequent many bars, clubs, and other establishments around town, but don't feel like I fit in... or at least I'm not satisfied. Something's missing.

I would kill to have a best friend as a roommate, but with my luck with roommates, I can only land potheads and morons for roommates.