"when Dating Isn’t Worth The Time, Effort And Emotion" - Melissa Batchelor Warnke

[buckthorn]

You sure they are not just crazy???

Sorry it makes me a bit annoyed because my Mother was an actual feminist and a kinder, gentler more curtious and very demure feminine woman you never would have met ..she just wanted to be able to earn a decent wage while raising two children on her own in 1970s divorced in NY abandoned by her husband who went on to live like a wealthy KING yet not give her child support to 'punish' her or try to control her. Thats why feminism started.. If silly girls are twisting it you don't call them feminist call them what they are silly and rude.
I think they are just rude and obnoxious women who want to make you feel bad. it's not a feminist ideal.

damn, yeah well put.

 

[hairblues]

Oh Jesus f*cking Christ, I know the type.. soooooo well. It's just f*cking infuriating. When I was 26-27, I dated this girl who would continually say sh*t like this. "i have my own apartment, I don't need a man" "independant b**ch wut wut!!!"... well, when we were breaking up, she LITERALLY said to me, "well, if you would man up and support me..." (obviously meaning pay for her rent as that was what we were talking about).

PAY FOR YOUR RENT???? We were dating for SIX f*cking months. Crazy enough, this was on Christmas day. She KNEW I was with my family and called me intentionally to tell me this. I replied, we are f*cking done. Hung up the phone, ignored her calls and never spoke to her again.

Some women want soooo much praise because they are "independent". Who gives a flying f*ck ya spoiled little brat??? I worked my *** off my entire life and never asked from sh*t from anyone.

LOL i have a friend a woman she DOES this makes me bonkers...She constantly praises her self on the back and brags about how hard she has it blah blah blah....
she would tell me how independent she is for years...Im one of those people i just dont really discuss money with others i dont like it I leant a friend money once and ever since then i keep my mouth shut...anyway I'm at the beach with her on a work day--i feelance so i dont have normal 9-5 m-f...and she's YELLING at her ex bF who was now her BOSS..how hard she was working he was a real-estate agent and she was working for him...I was like 'wow what a bullshit artist" i did not say anything to her..I spoke to another friend of ours mentioned it and she SPILLED...This girl was not only working for her ex boyfriend who still loved her--he was paying her RENT because he felt sorry for her..>Then i found out that same time period a guy she used to date long before lent her a few grand AND the girl telling me had been divorced, just sold her diamond ring and LENT this girl a few grand of that money because the girl was with her and 'cried' to her about how broke she was...Topper my OTHER girlfriend lent her money as well..

I started to think she must have a drug problem because where all this money going?

Anyway i am very wary of people who praise themselves and stroke their own egos..I mean we all speak highly of ourselves thats healthy.. but i mean the constant self praise is usually to me a bull sh*t artist of some kind.

 

[buckthorn]

Fixed it. Come on now, remember the popular guys at your school, the ones that were getting the prettiest girls, what did they all have in common?

good looking athletes... mean while, the intelligent, musically / artistically talented, hard working guys are the ones that were constantly bullied and humiliated because they may have had some physical "flaws".

 

[hairblues]

A lot of women don't want to "owe" men anything because they have prior experiences of men expecting sex afterwards. They then apply the
"take no favours" rule to all guys, to reduce expectations.

This is true to an extent...I was also wondering the girl with the car if maybe 'something' happened to her and she was uncomfortable i mean its a stretch but possible.

I will say this nothing bad ever happened to me but i had so many friends over years especially in my 20s confide to me sexual assault of even when children being touched by men...I had a male friend tell me also he was touched by his Uncle...I mean it happens often and can really effect people in their lives..>Not that it's an excuse or the reason this woman passed down ride..but it is kind of odd and extreme.

 

[buckthorn]

Yep, I wasn't one of these guys fortunately.

In highschool, people made fun of me for my social anxiety.

And the way I dressed.

But I don't recall ever being picked on my looks.

Which is why I didn't get it when guys started talking about looks and height when I first joined this forum in 2009.

I was like "I just want hair!" What are they talking about?

I was pushed in the mud weekly and sucker punched in the stomach by this kid Billy until I was 17. Then, I got in shape, was about 3" taller than him, and put on muscle. Senior year, I made that little b*tch pay for it. I think he is like a manager at target now or something.

 

[hairblues]

@FredTheBelgian I saw old pics of your transplant on an old thread about minoxidil and aging...your hair transplant looks really good!!...And to be honest if you 'wanted' to have shaved head just from the shape of head i think you can carry it quite well but that is personal preference.. Just my opinion unbiased opinion on hair transplant and head shape not that you asked. Still think your kind of obnoxious to newbies here.

 

[That Guy]

You sure they are not just crazy???

Sorry it makes me a bit annoyed because my Mother was an actual feminist and a kinder, gentler more curtious and very demure feminine woman you never would have met ..she just wanted to be able to earn a decent wage while raising two children on her own in 1970s divorced in NY abandoned by her husband who went on to live like a wealthy KING yet not give her child support to 'punish' her or try to control her. Thats why feminism started.. If silly girls are twisting it you don't call them feminist call them what they are silly and rude.
I think they are just rude and obnoxious women who want to make you feel bad. it's not a feminist ideal.

Feminism is one of those social movements that has been around long enough to see itself become the very thing it was fighting.

These "3rd wave feminists" we see today in the tumblr (dark)age very much advocate for the mentality these women have and far worse.

 

[resu]

The woman in the first post sounds like she watched too much Sex and The City.

 

[hairblues]

Feminism is one of those social movements that has been around long enough to see itself become the very thing it was fighting.

These "3rd wave feminists" we see today in the tumblr (dark)age very much advocate for the mentality these women have and far worse.

I don't know about 3rd wave feminists sounds like bull crap Lena Dunham stuff to me. Anyone can bastardize movements on any subject. Maybe tell them real feminist don't mistreat men they just want the same rights. If you let a person treat you like crap in what they say etc..thats on you not feminism. Expecting someone to have psychic abilities and know what may or may not be a hot botton for them is not feminism..Trust me their is no doctrine to teat men badly.
Just call them out on their bull crap. Don't let them own the word or movement. Any woman you know and care about has in some way benefited from that movement. Don't let some brats change what it really is because of what they wrongly believe.

 

[hairblues]

The women in the first post sounds like she watched too much Sex and The City.

Its true don't get me wrong loved the show ...but it's a tv show...woman should not sit and disect their sex and romantic lives.

 

[hairblues]

Feminism is one of those social movements that has been around long enough to see itself become the very thing it was fighting.

These "3rd wave feminists" we see today in the tumblr (dark)age very much advocate for the mentality these women have and far worse.

Sorry if i sound lecturing you i am really not intending just venting frustration because it was not a bad thing..and i hear it thrown around a lot in media lately like its 'bad'. So women who are normal are afraid to self identify as feminist because its so warped..i don't like to see that perpetuated or validated.

 

[buckthorn]

Blah, blah, blah, all I want to know is have you f*cked her or not?

I f*cked her when I was like 29, yes.

 

[buckthorn]

Damn bro, you f*cked a 11. Tell us in details how it went. (unzips his pants in anticipation)

she was a "10" no doubt and it was amazing.

 

[Clearingout]

The chick that wrote this is the type of woman who makes dating hard, guys aren't meant to chase. It's what turns woman off and away.

She likes a guy but won't chase.
But if he were to chase her I guarantee she'd run for the hills because he's to 'clingy'. Or something along those lines.

 

[Agustin Araujo]

If you are insecure and don't enjoy confrontation, you are most likely to avoid relationships in general. Every relationship will have a "power struggle" if both parties suffer from insecurity. Insecurity and low self esteem can trigger confrontation. I have never been a fan of confrontation or people who think they are your "judge and jury". A relationship can only survive with compromise and most people don't want to do this. Many feel compromise shows a sign of weakness but actually it is an act of love. If you love someone enough, you will allow them to share an experience they are passion about even if you may not be. And sometimes, if you can see their point of view of why they are passionate about something, you may learn to appreciate the same passion unknowingly. If you don't have the mindset of "paying it forward", you will struggle in your relationship as well. People don't actually realize how much energy they waste on arguing over petty things. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and even if it doesn't make any sense. Confrontation becomes very popular amongst the "its my way or its the highway" attitude.

I read alot of posts on here and what baffles me the most are the ones that say I suffer from anxiety and depression. Why? Are you truly chemically imbalanced? Have you tested your serotonin levels to see if they are depleted? Do you really live in fear of everything going on around you? Where is all this fear coming from? And then I realize the answer has alot to do with people interaction. If you surround yourself with negative people, you will eventually become one. And of course, your parents are where it all starts. If they are negative and fight all the time, you will eventually do the same. Then the friends you chose will again influence you as well. So if the mate you chose is instilling fear in you all the time, don't you think eventually your relationship is going to result in arguing, confrontation and possible heartbreak.

For example," honey, is your hair starting to thin a little, maybe you should buy that rogaine stuff". Now you just planted the seed into this poor soul and now they are going to fear going bald the rest of their life. And if you mention hair, the trigger is loaded. And then the person will eventually join this forum and you known the rest is history. Imagine having a mate that constantly instills fear in you. Are you both going to survive in your relationship? Thats the problem with that article David posted. This girl is spewing all this stuff and yet she is not innocent herself. She is no better than anyone else who likes to instill fear in people. She needs to self examine herself and realize she is the reason her dating life sucks. If you surround yourself with people who will bring you down and like to instill fear, you will eventually "crack" yourself and say things about your partner you wish you never said. I can see why so many people are skeptical about companionship. That is why Zircon has it right. He found someone who may actually like to compromise and enjoy each other's company without constantly instilling fear in each other. True, the girl may not be a 8 or a 9 but at least he actually has a relationship he enjoys. And if he or she starts instilling fear in the relationship, then his relationship might not survive.

DoctorHouse, apologies that I never replied back to you from this reply. I needed time to digest this but I totally forgot about it. First off, thank you for this response and for taking your time on it.

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What I have developed over time are triggers, and I am hypersensitive. Growing up, I did have confrontation, not negative however. It was limited but I was always so thrilled when it happened especially when it was a female since the average normal social interactions have always been so hard for me to follow. Compromises have always been an interesting thing to see depending on the circumstances. Like you said, if able to see the point of view of why the person is passionate about a certain experience, they can learn to become appreciative of it. And not only that, it may open the mind to many other possibilities. Every single one of us living on this planet live in a reality where we need to do our part and contribute in order to do well.

It's true, being surrounded by negative people will turn you into a negative person. Negativity brings negativity. Anger brings anger. Sadness brings sadness. Fear brings fear. Hate brings hate. So on and so forth, but you know what? Joy brings joy. Happiness brings happiness. Love brings love. Courage brings courage. Kindness brings kindness. Gratitude brings gratitude. I learned that over time and was actually something not so obvious to me before. I've also learned that most of the time negative thinking is usually learned helplessness, but as you're with our hair loss issues, it's far too easy to feel that way despite that it's not our fault at all. In short, all of us really need to stop being so hard on ourselves.

Instilling fear should be shunned, as it serves no purpose for anything except for the 'parasite' to get the best of it. You're points are always valid DoctorHouse. David's article is relevant to all of what's always happening in those situations and zircon has always known how to keep himself together. To me, I have always seen looks and personality to be the two most important things if I ever meet with a female. Never expect perfection, but satisfaction.

Thanks again.