What really helps you cope?

[SQ25]

Hey All

I've just sat here reading through the thread of things you hate to hear people say, and am wondering on the opposite to this... what really helps you in terms of support from friends / partners?

I am trying to help a friend in the earlier stages of hairloss, and sometimes I think I'm doing a good job then others I feel quite the opposite.

I'd be really interested to hear opinions on what does help you guys.

Thanks x

 

[LooseItAll]

I just believe that my regimen will stop hair loss.

 

[kejan]

Being positive.
I'm not happy about my hairloss but it's spurred me to improve on other areas such as exercise, healthy eating and being the best person I can be.
We might not be able to control our hair but we can still look good and have a nice toned body. I'm noticing this more with getting older. I'm 28 and a lot of my friends who are all mostly NW1s and 2s are getting bellys and not exercising enough, although they've got their hair - the last few months I've been the one getting compliments and a few Women commenting on my nice toned legs and arms etc.
Yeah, with some people it does take a lot of their looks does hairloss, but if you remain fit and look well - it can add back some of those looks that you might have lost.

It's frustrating, and it's not fair that some of us have been dealt with hairloss but life is too short to think about it all the time. Live life to the max and be the best you can be.

And keeping my hair trimmed shortish. I've said on another thread that I'm experimenting with hairstyles and what is best, but my days of having a moppish type hair do are behind me. If you are NW3-4 I'd recommend to keep it short. For a while, I tried the Ashton Kutcher hairstyle and it worked to an extent BUT I had to stay indoors with it haha, If I went outside and it was even slightly windy it would knock the hair all over the place or running etc.

 

[Ori83]

Lol Dudeamon

it wont help you with hairlose, but sport always makes me feel better regardless...

having a girlfriend would help too obviously.

surprisingly going out DOES NOT help one bit! specially if your an over-sensitive guy (like myself) youll look around and see "hair men" and women will reject you if your clubbing or something like that...

and last thing; collage ! or focusing on your career, everything to keep the mind bussy with other important sh*t ...

 

[SQ25]

Lol Dudeamon

it wont help you with hairlose, but sport always makes me feel better regardless...

having a girlfriend would help too obviously.

surprisingly going out DOES NOT help one bit! specially if your an over-sensitive guy (like myself) youll look around and see "hair men" and women will reject you if your clubbing or something like that...

and last thing; collage ! or focusing on your career, everything to keep the mind bussy with other important sh*t ...

Thanks for your reply.

I guess I am technically the girlfriend and although I sometimes see that it helps, most of the time I'm just not sure it does. My friend hates the loss of attraction from other women as regardless of relationship status everybody wants to be found attractive. I've known him for years and years so our connection is kinda beyond the physical, but I think there is sometimes the feeling that what I think doesn't count.... partly because I'm not impartial and partly because I'm already past that instant attraction point so don't need to be pulled in on appearance. It's that initial instant attraction that I think is the big thing, and because of the above I feel like I struggle to be able to help with this.

 

[SQ25]

Well that's very sweet of you to come on here and try to figure out ways to make him feel better, he's a lucky dude to have such a considerate girlfriend.


Has he tried any treatments? There are quite a few products that actually work, he may have a good shot at growing back some hair, and at least slowing down or reversing the hair loss.If you want to learn about treatments that actually work, than take a look at the guide in my signature.


As for things that a guys girlfriend could do to make him feel better, well I could think of a few, don't nag him, make him a sandwich, and :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :hump: :hump: :hump: :shock: to him, he should be happy after that LOL !

Well, I'm just kidding

I try my best!! I hate to see him upset so want to do anything I can, but sometimes feel like I'm doing the wrong things or am not able to do what's needed.

We've been together for a long time, like six years, and whilst I still find him very very attractive, there obviously doesn't need to be that instant attraction each day because he's already got my full attention. I think what he's worried about is no longer being able to turn heads or get that instant attraction from other women, he doesn't want to feel like given the need to do it, that he couldn't attract women any longer... which I totally understand and am not worried about (ie. I'm not concerned that he's trying to run away from me, although he might be ha).

He's got an awesome physique, but underneath clothes people can't always see that, and I think his biggest worry is not being able to attract women on the street like he used to be able to. He's not a long way into the process and still has decent hair, I think it's more the fear of what could be / is to come and what that will do to his mental state if / when it does happen.

He has been using the regaine spray for the last seven months but it's hard to know whether that has done anything (ie. has it delayed what would have happened quicker, has it not done anything, has it made it worse) who knows.... don't have a crystal ball! Other than this he hasn't had any treatment of any description, but has been styling his hair at the front to make it less noticeable.

There is a difference in his hairline from when younger, and it doesn't help that his hair has always been really fine anyway, but there isn't a huge difference yet. It's hard because when questioned on how his hair looks in photos etc, I can't lie and say that there is zero difference to when he was younger, but at the same time if I say there's not much difference and his hair looks good, he doesn't believe me. I don't feel like I can win sometimes :-(

Anyway, I'm sure I'm rambling now, so apologies in advance!!

 

[SQ25]

As for things that a guys girlfriend could do to make him feel better, well I could think of a few, don't nag him, make him a sandwich, and :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :hump: :hump: :hump: :shock: to him, he should be happy after that LOL !

Well, I'm just kidding

Oh and as for things I could do, I try not to nag, I would make sandwiches whenever he's hungry and I try my best with the rest ha! I just do sometimes think it's the thought that he couldn't get that instant attraction from a random woman that makes things worse for him. Everybody wants to feel like they could and I understand that! But I do try my best!!

 

[Sebastien]

First of all, it is very sweet of you to come here and ask how you can emotionally support someone through this process, even though most people would probably tell him to 'man up' and 'stop acting ghey' etc. I myself have the privilige of a girlfriend which I can talk to about and it helps me whenever she says that my hair looks good or that I look good. One thing I do find frustrating is that when she denies it's going on, it makes me feel like she doesn't wan't it to be going on since she doesn't want a bald boyfriend (paranoid eh?).

Anyways what helps me cope personally is that I am doing something about it (taking finasteride, revita shampoo, eating/living healthy etc). Also I would be someone who would wear a wig which is kind of a last resort for me if things ever get really bad. Also I find that being in shape, wearing good clothes and taking care of skin etc already puts you high up the 'looks' ladder (especially when you get older), something someone already mentioned. Bald men with formal clothes look great imo.

To be honest though it's kind of a mourning process which needs time. Don't give him alot of the 'but there are people with worse conditions' speech everyday. But sometimes a wake up call can be neccessary. At the end of the day it 'just' hair and looks.

By the way I am a very vain person myself and that really doesn't mean that I require attention from other woman than my girlfriend. I just like to look good.

 

[SQ25]

Hahaha I was just kidding about that, but you sound like an awesome girl friend!

Look at the link below in my signature, read about some of those treatments, Finasteride will stop most men's hair loss for years and thicken up their hair, he might want to try it.

Thanks I know you were kidding, but I make good sandwiches so it'd be wrong not to share them!

I've read through the guide, really informative reading thanks.

I think he has considered Finasteride but I think the potential side effects have scared him a bit. He's a very sexual man, lot of testosterone running through that body, and I think the thought that the finasteride could bring problems sexually is somewhat offputting for him. I guess it's considering the lesser of two evils.... use it and risk problems sexually, so if you can get the girl then who knows what's going to happen, or don't use it and then run the risk of not getting the girl.

Admittedly I don't know much about anything here, hence why I'm trying to clue myself up a bit to be a help to him rather than useless, so I might be completely wrong!

 

[SQ25]

First of all, it is very sweet of you to come here and ask how you can emotionally support someone through this process, even though most people would probably tell him to 'man up' and 'stop acting ghey' etc. I myself have the privilige of a girlfriend which I can talk to about and it helps me whenever she says that my hair looks good or that I look good. One thing I do find frustrating is that when she denies it's going on, it makes me feel like she doesn't wan't it to be going on since she doesn't want a bald boyfriend (paranoid eh?).

Anyways what helps me cope personally is that I am doing something about it (taking finasteride, revita shampoo, eating/living healthy etc). Also I would be someone who would wear a wig which is kind of a last resort for me if things ever get really bad. Also I find that being in shape, wearing good clothes and taking care of skin etc already puts you high up the 'looks' ladder (especially when you get older), something someone already mentioned. Bald men with formal clothes look great imo.

To be honest though it's kind of a mourning process which needs time. Don't give him alot of the 'but there are people with worse conditions' speech everyday. But sometimes a wake up call can be neccessary. At the end of the day it 'just' hair and looks.

By the way I am a very vain person myself and that really doesn't mean that I require attention from other woman than my girlfriend. I just like to look good.

Thanks, it's nice to hear from somebody in the same sort of position.

I tell him his hair looks nice and genuinely mean it (ie. I would never say it falsely to try and make him feel better), and I do actually prefer it bit shorter now compared to how it used to be, but I think there is a sense of paranoia because I often feel like he doesn't believe what I'm saying. I know this is only natural for somebody feeling really down about themselves, it's just hard to know what to do when this happens.

He's in very good shape physically and does look after himself, but has never been one to preen in front of the mirror. He has always been a quick rough up the hair and throw some clothes on kinda guy, so to have to try and style his hair when it's a bit longer at the front really hits him hard. I guess it's something you just have to get used to, but I really don't think he wants to! It's not nice having to change the way you've always been to try and cover something up, but then I guess what's the alternative.

I'm not sure the tough love approach would be welcome right now, really don't want to push him away and with his confidence being pretty low right now I fear it would do that to him.

It's hard to know what to do! Thank you for your help though, it's really appreciated.

 

[SQ25]

Finasteride can cause some really bad problems for some men, but most people do fine on it, I got side effects and had to quit, but my friend, on the other hand, has been using it for 5 years without any side effects. He should give it a shot, and if he notices side effects he should quit it.

Is it the kind of thing you can pick up then drop like that? Ie. if you were to have bad side effects whilst taking it, could you stop and then within X amount of time the side effects go away (once it's out of your system), or is it something that could potentially leave you with problems even after stopping usage? I realise everybody is different in terms of the way their body functions etc etc, but generally speaking are any symptoms only during the period of usage?

Thanks again for your help x

 

[s.a.f]

(No, actually, believe it or not, I am currently dating a real woman that I met at my uni ... :freaked2: )

Are you telling us that you've just disproved all your theories then?? :whistle: :shock:

 

[SQ25]

Finasteride is not the only effective treatment though, there are others that also work with less side effects, the're just more of a pain to get, and more exspensive. I can help you figure out something that will work though. Let me ask you a few questions...


How old is your boyfriend?

And click on the chart below, and tell me which one (the're numbered NW1 NW2 ect) that his hair looks like. This chart is called the Norwood Hamilton Chart or Norwood Chart. So you refer to the hair loss patterns as NW2, NW3, ect,ect.

Also how long has he noticed it?

Thanks

He's 27, and closest to the first picture - neither side is that noticeable yet, with the left being slightly more than the right. There is no noticeable change on the crown of his head. It's really not that pronounced yet though but there is a difference compared to what it used to be. I'd say he's noticed it over the last year ish, to me it doesn't appear to be moving quickly and I don't really notice at all unless I compare to photos from when we were like 22, and then I can see a difference.

 

[cuebald]

(No, actually, believe it or not, I am currently dating a real woman that I met at my uni ... :freaked2: )

:bravo: :beer: :beer: :beer:

I think out of all the "HairLossTalk.com losers" it is only me who is yet to get a woman :shakehead: :laugh:
Perhaps I should have listened to CCS all along

 

[LooseItAll]

(No, actually, believe it or not, I am currently dating a real woman that I met at my uni ... :freaked2: )

:bravo: :beer: :beer: :beer:

I think out of all the "HairLossTalk.com losers" it is only me who is yet to get a woman :shakehead: :laugh:
Perhaps I should have listened to CCS all along

Wel I never dated or kissed a girl so... Hope that makes you feel better. :whistle:

 

[Rutt]

hope in the big 3 and the fact that i have/will have the money for hair transplant [along with the fact that if it doesn't work, worst case I get it FUE'd back out and go back to natural baldness :whistle: ]

 

[Aedan]

back on topic..

For me it's going to the boxing club and knocking a NW1 clean senseless.... hahaha

o/j... or am I... it can be satisfying.

 

[GeminiX]

For stress relief and generally getting things out of my system, I find a punch bag or a sparring partner in a Red Man suit are extremely therapeutic.

 

[Aedan]

In general i suggest martial arts as a part of everyones life. In one form or another

 

[GeminiX]

In general i suggest martial arts as a part of everyones life. In one form or another

In general i suggest martial arts as a part of everyones life. In one form or another

I agree, not so much for the ability to defend yourself from muggers (which will probably get you shot), but just because it's an excellent form of exercise. Sparring and punch-bag work will get even the fittest person gasping for breath in no-time at all