Maxpwr
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flimflam said:ok, you're right, that wasn't very helpful of me. I'll say something a bit more useful:
When I first accepted my hairloss, at age 26, I thought: this is it - the end of my youth. Game over.
Gradually, over time, I realised that no one else cared as much as I did and I slowly came round to thinking this is MY life and I only have ONE try at it and why should I hide in the shadow of embarrassment and shame? I WILL NOT get to age 40 and be full of regret - look back and think: "my hair wasn't so bad - why did I turn down all those invitations? Why didn't I have more fun?"
It coincided with a house move to a place that was quite different to what I was used to and to be honest - quite scary. So it was either cave-in and live like a hermit and go out and have fun. I used to be a shy person who was quietly confident so I decided I would be tough and take any failures on the chin as I thought it would help me become a stronger person. I thought; yeah, I can handle it.
Guess what happened?
There were no failures.
I had the attitude "I have nothing to lose" so I went to parties. I talked to new people. I talked to girls. I didn't "try". I was relaxed. It was a gamble, which is something I don't do. I'm quite calculating. But oh it was worth it.
And, at 27 (next week!), I feel like my youth is actually just beginning - I'm having so much fun!! Much more fun that I did when I was aged 18-25 (with a thick NW1). So what I'm saying is, age-wise, there is hope! Just when you think it's over - you can still discover; it's not! It's all up to you. Just realise you can do it. You're human, and humans can do some really amazing $#iT can't they?
Maybe you need to surround yourself with new people? Get a new job, or move house? Something new, something scary. Take risks, it's so rewarding if you win or lose.
I wish you and Taug all the best, and anything I say has your best interests at heart. I feel for you guys just as I feel for myself and I want you to be happy like me.
Peace.
Alan
Yes, yes... good advice there. Nothing combats a dull, uninteresting rut more than major change.
Of course nothing will ever get back those years between 13 and 23... Those are the years when you do most of your social learning, get a lot of your confidence, meet a lot of friends... and break all the rules with only MINOR consequences. (well that was how I did it anyway...) No amount of living now could bring that back, especially considering I know so much more now.
I had a wild "youth" followed by 2 - 3 years of severe emptiness, trying to get myself together again. When I turned 23 or something I started living it up again, putting myself in situations I wasn't familiar with, trying new things, forcing myself in the path of any fun / learning / life experience possible and I'd like to say since then life's never been better. Nothing's too big a challenge to pass up. And when I look back in 5 years I'm going to be proud of my efforts, and will never be able to say "what if?"
So you can't get back those early years, but that's definitely no reason to give up hope if you think you "wasted" them - I'm sure if you didn't do it the way I did you would still have great experiences and fond memories of a different nature.