Too many mistakes

[O'rly?]

I'm nearly 22. Lately I've been thinking a lot about how I have really messed up the last four years of my life.

I finished high school at 18 but I kind of screwed up my final year and I didn't get enough points to go to a college I wanted, partly because I was too lazy to put in the work but mainly because I assumed I was so intelligent that I didn't need to study. So I repeated the year, but again I screwed it up. This was the year my hair loss began and I stopped going in because I was so ashamed of my appearance. I was 19 when I finished.

So I enrolled in a community college to do a 4 year business degree. The first year was pretty easy, which I finished aged 20. But I failed EVERY exam in the 2nd year - I hardly went in and I underestimated the level of the exams.

I was faced with the options of dropping out, repeating 2nd year or getting a job and repeating the 2nd year exams in 9 months.

So I dropped out and got a job with the intention of repeating my 2nd year exams in a few months time.

Lately, I've had a lot of regrets about how I fucked up so many opportunities people have given me. If I could go back to when I was 18 I would study my *** off. It really tears me up inside seeing all my friends in their final years in college, only a few months away from being qualified engineers, lawyers etc. Then theres me I have a cert in Business from a community college, working a job I hate. The only reason I haven't quit is because the money is pretty good as far as unqualified jobs go.

I don't know if I am looking for advice or just somewhere to let off some pent up emotions.

 

[So]

Mate, there is a lot of good advice I can give you but being that it's NYE and I am about to party I will impart a piece of knowledge on you that I hope you will come to understand, if not now, in the very near future...

You can not control your past, you can not control your future, you only control the NOW (present), for the NOW is your FUTURE.

I don't mean to get all philosophical on you but there is an important message to be learned from the above.

If you try to control the past (which you can not) your life will be full of regret, which it clearly is.

If you try to control the future (which you can not) your future will always elude you because you have not addressed the NOW.

If you control the NOW (which you can) you can define your future and create past that you are proud to look back upon irrespective of your history.

Stop regretting, take stock of your life now and make fundamental changes to shape your future. It's hard, it's difficult and it's damn well complex but by all means it is achievable NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE TELLS YOU! Remember that! NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE TELLS YOU!

This simply philosophy (along with many other practices I have employed) has reshaped my life, not by chance, by luck or a random universal act but rather because I made the necessary changes to eradicate the destructive thought and language processes that ALWAYS keep you locked in the PAST or DREAMING of a FUTURE that never eventuates.

Need more help? PM me.

Happy new year.

 

[Guest]

Hey LOrly, sry to hear about your fucked up life. Listen to So, he has been giving you good advice so far. Concentrate on the now and your future and your future past will be great.

My life is pretty fucked up, too. I am 24 years old, studying with limited success, male virgin, living with his mother, no friends to go out with, and worst of all I am suffering from hair loss. This all pretty much sucks, but I somehow try to deal with it without killing myself.

It is NYE, go out and live your life. I am gonna stay at home and probably post at HairLossTalk.com. Just shows you how severe the situation really is..... :cry:

 

[Guest]

Mate, there is a lot of good advice I can give you but being that it's NYE and I am about to party I will impart a piece of knowledge on you that I hope you will come to understand, if not now, in the very near future...

You can not control your past, you can not control your future, you only control the NOW (present), for the NOW is your FUTURE.


If you try to control the past (which you can not) your life will be full of regret, which it clearly is.

If you try to control the future (which you can not) your future will always elude you because you have not addressed the NOW.

If you control the NOW (which you can) you can define your future and create past that you are proud to look back upon irrespective of your history.

Happy new year.

i have to disagree here. if you take it serious you cant even control your NOW. thats because the now is just 0.000000000.....0001 seconds long. ok that first. but the NOW is like the PAST because you CANNOT change it. you just can change the future. think about it. you cant change the NOW. its impossible. if you sit on chair and want not to sit on chair, you can change that and sit up, but thats already the future of the past NOW when it happens. you cant change the NOW.

but you can change the future to some extend. well, if you are serious, you cant even change the future coz everything you do comes from any thought that you have. but this thought comes from another thought, this thought again from another thought. and in the beginning there is something from the outer side of your mind, from the reality which makes this first thougth. ok ok , i know you can debate about that and argue but i think its like that.

so anyway lets say you have control over what you do and over your thoughts. then you just can change the future. though if you think about it, whats future? you never saw it, you never feeled it, its not there. its just in your mind. like past. so maybe there is no future at all and you are stuck in your NOW reality and you just think that future WILL happen.

ok ok enough of philosophical bla bla. but for sure is, you just can change the future. ya i agree with you, you have to build it up in the NOW and you build up the far future in the near future. so take a look at your now and your near future. what are you doing there? thats what defines your far future. so make the best out of it! past is past, like you said and its nothing more like some remindings. you CANT change it. never. ok , maybe in future you will be able to change past, i dont know.

but nontheless look at your now and you near future. do the best out of it. though what you have to do first is set goals and plans for the far future. then do the things which you have to do in the near future. that means just do it. and do it asap. because otherwise you loose time, which you dont have unlimited much of. you will regret it in future if you dont act asap.

cheers and a happy new year!

 

[Guest]

okay whatever i know my post was a bit too theoretical. so lets say you have to change the NOW. just a model.

well. i think philosophic is pretty important for life. especially life philosphic. if you have the right or a good life philosophic you will succeed, but you have a wrong one or a bad one you will become a looser. its all in your mind. the reality , or the outside just controls your mind to an extend. but i think you have more control over your mind than the outside has. but only if you re strong. and have the right life philosophic. then you can handle outside bad things like hairloss or accidents which happen.

so get some good books about life philosophic. but not theoretical ones. some which are more for practic. try the things inside. i strongly advise "think and grow rich" . its for me the best book ever. its about how to become a winner in life.

 

[So]

helpme007,

Your response ridiculously MISSES the point of what I am saying. I can understand that you are trying to be "technical" in your analysis of what I've stated but even your critique is rather, err, crap with all due respect.

On a side note I concur that Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill (original and or revised edition) is a fantastic piece of literature that is life changing.

Happy new year mate!

 

[sphlanx2006]

I think there is not one person in the world, who doesnt regret about some years that he fucked up. There are 2 choises though, even live a life of regrets and continue the fucked up situation, either do something to change it.

At taugenics: I think you are i a very bad way man. You have settled down feeling sorry for your messed up situation and you like that. I mean you dont really like it but you dont want to change anything because you are to afraid and used to it. But my friend, you HAVE to do something. You are still VERY young, only 24. You know its not that difficult. You have been given some time on this planet, and its really a waste to not enjoy it.

 

[O'rly?]

Thanks for the advice.

I probably should have said I am working construction for my dad. I get up at 5.15am to start work at 6.30am. I finish work around 7pm, sometimes later. So I dont get home till 8pm most nights and then go to bed at 11pm. I do this Monday to Friday. I've been doing this for the past 6 months and I am really not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow.

Most of the time I am standing around doing nothing, where all the guys are driving machines, I am just standing around for the best part of the day doing the occasional bit of manual labor. Its a real long day when you are doing nothing. I am working there 6 months and I still cant operate any of the machines. I've told this to my dad but he keeps telling me to wait till a machine becomes available to train me in.

I think the only reason I stick it is because I earn about $850 a week after tax. Whereas if I were to get some kind of unqualified job in an office I'd be lucky to earn $380 before tax has been deducted.

Its really a catch 22 situation. At the moment I earn relatively good money but I have no life from Monday to Friday. I miss out on lots of things because of this, like being able to go to a concert, film or gym on a tuesday night, which I could if I worked somewhere else. But if I worked somewhere else I'd earn about a third of what I do now and would struggle to do anything other than pay my bills.

 

[s.a.f]

Hmm, catch 22 situation the money is great but all you do is work and no play. This seems like the type of job for family man who has bills to pay and so has no choice but to work. Is'nt there some way that you could reduce your hours to say 8am - 5pm?

 

[O'rly?]

You couldn't even class what I do as work. I really do nothing. I don't think my dad cares as I think he enjoys having me around. Unfortunately I either work those hours or don't work at all.

I know many people on this forum would kill to earn $850 after taxes, but the job is f*****g draining the life out of me. I have no free time other than a couple of hours each night. I feel like a retard at work because I do nothing and get paid for it. But if I quit I'd struggle to find anything other than some bottom of the ladder office job which would just cover my living expenses.