G
Guest
Guest
I knew this would happen to me sooner or later.
Whenever I’m near another hair-loss sufferer and we both have our own hair-loss on display at the same time, I feel incredibly uncomfortable.
Today, I was sitting next to a group of strangers on the circulated bench at my local town centre. I noticed everyone had great hair.
There were no initial problems.
I did, however, have my shaved head on display.
All of a sudden, this guy, in his 20's who also had a shaved head, walked past me.
To my horror he sat next to me on the bench.
I tried my utmost to keep a normal looking face, but I felt excruciatingly embarrassed. We were both sitting next to each other looking like eggs. We weren’t like all the other people around, as we sat on the bench in the packed town centre.
Then, as I looked at him, I caught him staring at me out the corner of his eye - so I did the same to him. I was not going to let him take advantage of my shaved head.
I then tried to forget about it and ignore him.
That’s when I entered my pocket and pulled out a carton of fresh Blackcurrant Juice.
He then entered his pocket and pulled out a carton of fresh Orange Squash.
We both just sat there, staring daggers at each other, whilst furiously sipping on our respective drinks.
It was like we were trying to suss out each others Norwood’s at the same time.
I felt agitated by his presence, and the feelings were well and truly mutual.
I have no idea why, because we had never met before. It was like baldies do not mix, both of us were embarrassed by each other.
Then things started to get seriously ugly.
Both of us had gritted teeth and we were staring aggressively at each other. I was angered because I knew why he was staring at me.
"Why was this bald b**ch staring at me!" I muttered quietly, with the intention for others to purposely hear.
He was just sitting on the bench with the embarrassed face of a hair loss sufferer, staring at me.
At this stage, the anger was obvious between us - we were both seething with anger.
I was angered by him and he was angered by me.
I felt like pinching him on the leg, really hard.
I’m not even a violent person, but this guy was really angering me.
I then got up and abruptly asked him “Have you got a problems!?"
All of a sudden, things started to get nasty as I moved closer to him.
Our obvious agitation of each other had caught the attention of the group of youths that were on the other side of the bench.
I felt like walking away, but I wasn’t going to let him win this battle.
I then smelt my fingers - the stench on them wore the stagnant smell of Dr Lee’s Spironalactone Cream 5%.
So I moved closer and started to gently wiggle my fingers in front of his eyes.
At this stage the anger between us both was at boiling point.
So I carried on gently wiggling my fingers in front of his eyes. My egg breath was aimed in his direction, whilst I gently wiggled my fingers in front of his face.
To make matters worse, I had a big potato Norwood Scale expression on my face.
It was only a few moments before he was going to snap.
Then he did.
We both aggressively pulled each other to the ground, yanking at each others hair in a vicious fashion. I pulled his hair hard. Both our bald heads were on display, which drew a firm series of “ewwwwws†from a group of teen girls who were shopping across the way.
We had embarrassed red faces, as we frantically grappled on the floor.
We looked like a couple of hair-loss sufferers who had gotten out of control.
It was a sight for sore eyes.
Both of us then yelled insults at each other.
“You bald sh!t b**ch! You’re a bald brained hairy legs gimp!†he spluttered in my direction.
I had to think of a reply fast.
“You’re a bald sh!t. You’re bald and you’re a big fat, bald crap with sh!tty bald hair, you bald bastard!†I abruptly retaliated.
We were so angry.
We were fuming.
We hated each others guts.
It was the battle of the Norwood’s.
Our bald heads had brought out the worst out of each other.
At this stage, an elderly man came over to pull us apart. Both of us looked disgusting with red faces, as we tried to regain our breath.
Before calming down, and walking off in the opposite direction and back home.
When I got home, to my surprise, I spelt the subtle smell spironolactone cream coming from my living room.
"Where does this come from?" I quietly muttered to myself.
I then heard my best hair loss flatmate, Boris, laughing and giggling in the lounge.
'I wondered what he was up to' I thought to myself.
*Events then took an unexpected change*.
Because to my horror, I walked in only to see him having passionate hair-loss sex with the person I was fighting with 15 minutes previous.
Both of them were naked and caked in DermMatch, as they jigged on the spot, with their knees bending in the air whilst simultaneously rubbing each others heads.
I fell to the floor crying, before bending-over and firing K*n out of my arse, 3 times over.
I then heard 3 strong clatters.
"clatter!" "clatter!" "clatter!"
I turned around and to my shock, discovered I had hit the Treble 20 twice and a Single 20 on the Dart Board that I had fitted in the lounge, earlier in the morning.
All of a sudden, famous Darts commentator, Sid Waddell, walked out from behind the curtain and yelled "One Hundred and Forty†as I stood there holding onto The World Darts Trophy in my hands.
The commentator then held the microphone firmly to my mouth and asked if I had any comments on my victory.
I just fell to my knees, held my hands aloft and shouted “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorwodâ€
The curtains then opened.
All 3 hair loss sufferers all joined hands, and started to furiously jig to O-Zone’s Numa Numa Dance (like in the link below), as streamers began to rain down from the skies.
http://www.funpic.hu/swf/numanuma.html
Our legs were bending the air as the crowd clapped and went wild.
We were all jigging, whilst firmly holding hands, before finally bowing to the audience.
It was success.
The conclusion of the first ever hair-loss play to make it to the West End, was a resounding success.
Whenever I’m near another hair-loss sufferer and we both have our own hair-loss on display at the same time, I feel incredibly uncomfortable.
Today, I was sitting next to a group of strangers on the circulated bench at my local town centre. I noticed everyone had great hair.
There were no initial problems.
I did, however, have my shaved head on display.
All of a sudden, this guy, in his 20's who also had a shaved head, walked past me.
To my horror he sat next to me on the bench.
I tried my utmost to keep a normal looking face, but I felt excruciatingly embarrassed. We were both sitting next to each other looking like eggs. We weren’t like all the other people around, as we sat on the bench in the packed town centre.
Then, as I looked at him, I caught him staring at me out the corner of his eye - so I did the same to him. I was not going to let him take advantage of my shaved head.
I then tried to forget about it and ignore him.
That’s when I entered my pocket and pulled out a carton of fresh Blackcurrant Juice.
He then entered his pocket and pulled out a carton of fresh Orange Squash.
We both just sat there, staring daggers at each other, whilst furiously sipping on our respective drinks.
It was like we were trying to suss out each others Norwood’s at the same time.
I felt agitated by his presence, and the feelings were well and truly mutual.
I have no idea why, because we had never met before. It was like baldies do not mix, both of us were embarrassed by each other.
Then things started to get seriously ugly.
Both of us had gritted teeth and we were staring aggressively at each other. I was angered because I knew why he was staring at me.
"Why was this bald b**ch staring at me!" I muttered quietly, with the intention for others to purposely hear.
He was just sitting on the bench with the embarrassed face of a hair loss sufferer, staring at me.
At this stage, the anger was obvious between us - we were both seething with anger.
I was angered by him and he was angered by me.
I felt like pinching him on the leg, really hard.
I’m not even a violent person, but this guy was really angering me.
I then got up and abruptly asked him “Have you got a problems!?"
All of a sudden, things started to get nasty as I moved closer to him.
Our obvious agitation of each other had caught the attention of the group of youths that were on the other side of the bench.
I felt like walking away, but I wasn’t going to let him win this battle.
I then smelt my fingers - the stench on them wore the stagnant smell of Dr Lee’s Spironalactone Cream 5%.
So I moved closer and started to gently wiggle my fingers in front of his eyes.
At this stage the anger between us both was at boiling point.
So I carried on gently wiggling my fingers in front of his eyes. My egg breath was aimed in his direction, whilst I gently wiggled my fingers in front of his face.
To make matters worse, I had a big potato Norwood Scale expression on my face.
It was only a few moments before he was going to snap.
Then he did.
We both aggressively pulled each other to the ground, yanking at each others hair in a vicious fashion. I pulled his hair hard. Both our bald heads were on display, which drew a firm series of “ewwwwws†from a group of teen girls who were shopping across the way.
We had embarrassed red faces, as we frantically grappled on the floor.
We looked like a couple of hair-loss sufferers who had gotten out of control.
It was a sight for sore eyes.
Both of us then yelled insults at each other.
“You bald sh!t b**ch! You’re a bald brained hairy legs gimp!†he spluttered in my direction.
I had to think of a reply fast.
“You’re a bald sh!t. You’re bald and you’re a big fat, bald crap with sh!tty bald hair, you bald bastard!†I abruptly retaliated.
We were so angry.
We were fuming.
We hated each others guts.
It was the battle of the Norwood’s.
Our bald heads had brought out the worst out of each other.
At this stage, an elderly man came over to pull us apart. Both of us looked disgusting with red faces, as we tried to regain our breath.
Before calming down, and walking off in the opposite direction and back home.
When I got home, to my surprise, I spelt the subtle smell spironolactone cream coming from my living room.
"Where does this come from?" I quietly muttered to myself.
I then heard my best hair loss flatmate, Boris, laughing and giggling in the lounge.
'I wondered what he was up to' I thought to myself.
*Events then took an unexpected change*.
Because to my horror, I walked in only to see him having passionate hair-loss sex with the person I was fighting with 15 minutes previous.
Both of them were naked and caked in DermMatch, as they jigged on the spot, with their knees bending in the air whilst simultaneously rubbing each others heads.
I fell to the floor crying, before bending-over and firing K*n out of my arse, 3 times over.
I then heard 3 strong clatters.
"clatter!" "clatter!" "clatter!"
I turned around and to my shock, discovered I had hit the Treble 20 twice and a Single 20 on the Dart Board that I had fitted in the lounge, earlier in the morning.
All of a sudden, famous Darts commentator, Sid Waddell, walked out from behind the curtain and yelled "One Hundred and Forty†as I stood there holding onto The World Darts Trophy in my hands.
The commentator then held the microphone firmly to my mouth and asked if I had any comments on my victory.
I just fell to my knees, held my hands aloft and shouted “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorwodâ€
The curtains then opened.
All 3 hair loss sufferers all joined hands, and started to furiously jig to O-Zone’s Numa Numa Dance (like in the link below), as streamers began to rain down from the skies.
http://www.funpic.hu/swf/numanuma.html
Our legs were bending the air as the crowd clapped and went wild.
We were all jigging, whilst firmly holding hands, before finally bowing to the audience.
It was success.
The conclusion of the first ever hair-loss play to make it to the West End, was a resounding success.
