Schitz Popinov
Established Member
- Reaction score
- 68
I've actually tried to avoid the "Impact" forum for quite some time, but I'm at the point where the struggle and the angers grows with every passing day and I need to vent somewhere.
My self-confidence arrived the day I started styling my hair with a faux hawk. Not even my progress in the gym could compare and it was a major departure for me, especially as a late bloomer. I fed off the attention I got for it (especially from the ladies) and it became an ice-breaker in a lot of ways. A couple years afterward, I ended up in a relationship that lasted almost 5 years - which ended when I was 30 .... but the damage had already begun taking shape on my scalp.
Looking back the signs of Androgenetic Alopecia were obvious. As the condition kept deteriorating, the more my reliance on hair products (clay, hairspray) and chemical straighteners grew. My hair simply would not hold or style well without them. These days my hair has receded greatly with diffused thinning all over the top. I'm absolutely mortified to go anywhere without styling it. I gave up chemical straighteners about 3 years ago or so and still have an over-reliance on hair spray - almost everything else is too heavy. The result is a poor imitation of those popular side-part haircuts with a pompadour. Every morning is a struggle with my anxiety-ridden 45-60 minute hair styling marathon.
The crushing blow to my confidence came about 6 months ago when I started adding Toppik hair concealer. Every time I put it on I feel like a complete fabrication, a phony. I worry if people notice. I worry about bad lighting. I worry ...... all the time. If I could I would just shave it off, unfortunately for me I don't have the head shape or facial features for it.
This has consumed me in ways like nothing ever has and I was already a little bit OCD to begin with. I've literally planned my days around what may or may not impact my hair. To emphasize how bad my mind state has gotten - I've been shopping around for a Halloween costume this week ..... afraid to try certain things on because it'll screw up my hair.
I hate living like this. I worked so hard to break out of my shell in my mid 20's. I'm now in my late 30's and life/genetics are bullying me back into it.
My self-confidence arrived the day I started styling my hair with a faux hawk. Not even my progress in the gym could compare and it was a major departure for me, especially as a late bloomer. I fed off the attention I got for it (especially from the ladies) and it became an ice-breaker in a lot of ways. A couple years afterward, I ended up in a relationship that lasted almost 5 years - which ended when I was 30 .... but the damage had already begun taking shape on my scalp.
Looking back the signs of Androgenetic Alopecia were obvious. As the condition kept deteriorating, the more my reliance on hair products (clay, hairspray) and chemical straighteners grew. My hair simply would not hold or style well without them. These days my hair has receded greatly with diffused thinning all over the top. I'm absolutely mortified to go anywhere without styling it. I gave up chemical straighteners about 3 years ago or so and still have an over-reliance on hair spray - almost everything else is too heavy. The result is a poor imitation of those popular side-part haircuts with a pompadour. Every morning is a struggle with my anxiety-ridden 45-60 minute hair styling marathon.
The crushing blow to my confidence came about 6 months ago when I started adding Toppik hair concealer. Every time I put it on I feel like a complete fabrication, a phony. I worry if people notice. I worry about bad lighting. I worry ...... all the time. If I could I would just shave it off, unfortunately for me I don't have the head shape or facial features for it.
This has consumed me in ways like nothing ever has and I was already a little bit OCD to begin with. I've literally planned my days around what may or may not impact my hair. To emphasize how bad my mind state has gotten - I've been shopping around for a Halloween costume this week ..... afraid to try certain things on because it'll screw up my hair.
I hate living like this. I worked so hard to break out of my shell in my mid 20's. I'm now in my late 30's and life/genetics are bullying me back into it.
Last edited:
