The feel of needing to settle down in my 20s is both good and horrible

[KevinEdEddEddy]

So I lost most of my hair, if taking 'you are as old as your hairline' I am 60 years old. I had many girlfriends through my short life (I am 21 in March), which f*****g almost destroyed me. So, sometimes I feel crushed between living some life without anyone (you need to heal from traumatic experiences), but at the other hand, life of a man who almost killed himself 5 years ago and had many troubling relationships made me worn out psychologically and physically (I look like f*****g sh*t. Not only am I bald, I start developing a double chin despite being somewhat built but still skinny, I have dark circles under my eyes, I already have crow's feet when smiling), I genuinely am afraid I will not live to see my grandkids or even worse, that I will die before I see my children grown up. Having a loyal girl who seems to love me, seems to understand me and unironically helped me many times, should I settle down with her or should I risk never finding anyone anymore with my decaying body and settle down later? (idk if I am seriously decaying or it's just effect of botched suicide attempt)

 

[losingbattle88]

So I lost most of my hair, if taking 'you are as old as your hairline' I am 60 years old. I had many girlfriends through my short life (I am 21 in March), which f*****g almost destroyed me. So, sometimes I feel crushed between living some life without anyone (you need to heal from traumatic experiences), but at the other hand, life of a man who almost killed himself 5 years ago and had many troubling relationships made me worn out psychologically and physically (I look like f*****g sh*t. Not only am I bald, I start developing a double chin despite being somewhat built but still skinny, I have dark circles under my eyes, I already have crow's feet when smiling), I genuinely am afraid I will not live to see my grandkids or even worse, that I will die before I see my children grown up. Having a loyal girl who seems to love me, seems to understand me and unironically helped me many times, should I settle down with her or should I risk never finding anyone anymore with my decaying body and settle down later? (idk if I am seriously decaying or it's just effect of botched suicide attempt)

Your life sounds amazing compared to mine.

 

[Butterbean Head]

So I lost most of my hair, if taking 'you are as old as your hairline' I am 60 years old. I had many girlfriends through my short life (I am 21 in March), which f*****g almost destroyed me. So, sometimes I feel crushed between living some life without anyone (you need to heal from traumatic experiences), but at the other hand, life of a man who almost killed himself 5 years ago and had many troubling relationships made me worn out psychologically and physically (I look like f*****g sh*t. Not only am I bald, I start developing a double chin despite being somewhat built but still skinny, I have dark circles under my eyes, I already have crow's feet when smiling), I genuinely am afraid I will not live to see my grandkids or even worse, that I will die before I see my children grown up. Having a loyal girl who seems to love me, seems to understand me and unironically helped me many times, should I settle down with her or should I risk never finding anyone anymore with my decaying body and settle down later? (idk if I am seriously decaying or it's just effect of botched suicide attempt)

Oh fifteen minutes with you, well I wouldn't say no!

People see no worth in you.........oh but I do!

 

[Moz5x]

Fifteen minutes with you
Well, I wouldn't say no
Oh, people said that you were virtually dead
And they were so wrong

 

[KevinEdEddEddy]

Your life sounds amazing compared to mine.

Well I know I have better life than most people here or on Earth generally, still I am unsatisfied with how things are turning out, also I feel like I am burning out and while my friends feel like young boys at 20, I feel personally like I could just drop dead in bathroom after a swift heart attack. I am literally aging at a pace I can't keep up with, both mentally and physically.

 

[Butterbean Head]

Fifteen minutes with you
Well, I wouldn't say no
Oh, people said that you were virtually dead
And they were so wrong

Did you know I dreamt about you last night, and fell out of bed twice?

 

[Moz5x]

Well I know I have better life than most people here or on Earth generally, still I am unsatisfied with how things are turning out, also I feel like I am burning out and while my friends feel like young boys at 20, I feel personally like I could just drop dead in bathroom after a swift heart attack. I am literally aging at a pace I can't keep up with, both mentally and physically.

Hang in there man. I hope you can get some professional help for your depression. Having someone who is loyal, who loves you, and has supported you in bad times is a fortunate situation to be in….especially at 20.

 

[vondoom]

Did you know I dreamt about you last night, and fell out of bed twice?

There's a naked man standing, laughing in your dreams
You know who it is
But you don't like what it means

 

[doubleindemnity]

You don't need to settle down in your 20s because you're already bald. That argument only applies if you are about to go bald. Trying to settle down now vs trying to settle down in 10 years will be the same for you. It will be extremely difficult as a bald guy.

 

[KevinEdEddEddy]

You don't need to settle down in your 20s because you're already bald. That argument only applies if you are about to go bald. Trying to settle down now vs trying to settle down in 10 years will be the same for you. It will be extremely difficult as a bald guy.

Idk I have a loving girlfriend, the thing is, should I settle down with her or just later find someone else

 

[Butterbean Head]

There's a naked man standing, laughing in your dreams
You know who it is
But you don't like what it means

On the contrary, I knew what it meant as I took his hand and led him onto the dancefloor..................

 

[whatevr]

So my advice is this, if you feel like you're settling (because of your hair) it's a f*****g terrible idea. If you don't actually like this girl do not marry her, have kids with her and cement your future that way. Being single is MUCH more preferable than being with someone who you're not 100% set on. At least you'll still have all your free time and money.

f***'s sake you're not even 21 yet. The chances of there being something to help your hair within the next 10 years are pretty big, and your catch will be infinitely better even as a NW3 as opposed to bald. You gain nothing by commiting now, you have until your late 30s or so to settle down.

In fact your odds are much better than someone like me who is already 30 in a few months, I don't have a whole lot of time to wait, and despite that I could settle with a 5 right now (I'm NW3), I still choose to play the waiting game hoping I'll have better hair and land something better in the near future.

Patience.

 

[KevinEdEddEddy]

So my advice is this, if you feel like you're settling (because of your hair) it's a f*****g terrible idea. If you don't actually like this girl do not marry her, have kids with her and cement your future that way. Being single is MUCH more preferable than being with someone who you're not 100% set on. At least you'll still have all your free time and money.

f***'s sake you're not even 21 yet. The chances of there being something to help your hair within the next 10 years are pretty big, and your catch will be infinitely better even as a NW3 as opposed to bald. You gain nothing by commiting now, you have until your late 30s or so to settle down.

In fact your odds are much better than someone like me who is already 30 in a few months, I don't have a whole lot of time to wait, and despite that I could settle with a 5 right now (I'm NW3), I still choose to play the waiting game hoping I'll have better hair and land something better in the near future.

Patience.

I mean I am not going to propose to her now lmao, if I marry her, it will be when I am 25 or 26 lmao. Main reason for wanting to find someone to settle with is because having had my previous gfs, I had my fun (sex too) and it's just pointless to be in relationship with someone, having no plans to settle with them. I chose her because she was my very close friend and it seems she will not be a burden for me, also she has most of qualities I seek in a girl. The thing I am wondering about is, how the f*** no one thinks of finding a girl who will be good for him and think only with their dicks? I thought using my dick and it almost landed me in jail lmao

 

[whatevr]

I mean I am not going to propose to her now lmao, if I marry her, it will be when I am 25 or 26 lmao. Main reason for wanting to find someone to settle with is because having had my previous gfs, I had my fun (sex too) and it's just pointless to be in relationship with someone, having no plans to settle with them. I chose her because she was my very close friend and it seems she will not be a burden for me, also she has most of qualities I seek in a girl. The thing I am wondering about is, how the f*** no one thinks of finding a girl who will be good for him and think only with their dicks? I thought using my dick and it almost landed me in jail lmao

For the same reason that women do not pay any attention to the normal, average man who would hold them up like a princess and provide for them, instead they run after Chad who will f*** them once or twice and run away.

"Being good for you" is rarely a criteria when picking a partner, virtually nobody thinks like that, male or female. Bad boys and hawt b****s are in demand.

Do you mind me asking what is the difference between marrying her now and waiting until you're 25 or 26? If you are sure that you like her why not marry her now?

 

[I wont lose this]

There's a naked man standing, laughing in your dreams
You know who it is
But you don't like what it means

https://preview.redd.it/4jcvxyqstd681.jpg?auto=webp&s=83f158578b9fd15eeb099ea0f1f630249ea4b34b

 

[disfiguredyoungman]

The way you describe her character she seems like a keeper. Are you attracted to her as well?
But you gotta be ready for this stuff. The way you talk, you still seem a bit immature (not to mention your mood swings) and would probably constantly ponder about 'missing out'.

So you gotta be brutally honest with yourself as well, before you even consider settling down, ask yourself if you could even see yourself pull it of in the long run right now. If the answer is no, there's obviously no point in trying, even if it was better for you.

 

[doubleindemnity]

Idk I have a loving girlfriend, the thing is, should I settle down with her or just later find someone else

Then do it! Majority of people have dysfunctional relationships or relationships that aren't that happy. That's the truth; just ask the people around you. Even the NW1 guys who can date whoever they want, when they are in a full relationship, have the same thing. So go for it. Not because of hair loss or aging or anything but because it is a loving relationship. If you can describe your relationship as loving, then you are almost as rich in life as a NW1 guy. Really.

 

[KevinEdEddEddy]

The way you describe her character she seems like a keeper. Are you attracted to her as well?
But you gotta be ready for this stuff. The way you talk, you still seem a bit immature (not to mention your mood swings) and would probably constantly ponder about 'missing out'.

So you gotta be brutally honest with yourself as well, before you even consider settling down, ask yourself if you could even see yourself pull it of in the long run right now. If the answer is no, there's obviously no point in trying, even if it was better for you.

Well I am attracted to her, she is a kind of a girl that people consider average but she looks good for me. Imo she is someone I could pull off settling down with, so wish me luck with her

 

[Baldingtooyoung]

You should 100% ignore all these weird talks about hair and just focus on yout own mental health.
Having someone to keep you sane is not healthy, you should work on yourself.
Not only for your GF, but more importantly, for you.

This shouldn't even be a question that has to do with decay. It shoud be only about love.
Not about NW1-6 or any of that bullshit.
If you love her for life, stay with her.
If she does not give you everything you always dreamed of in a girl, it's time to move on.

But whatever you do, work on yourself (i really, really, really advice a therapist)

Good luck whatever you do tho.

 

[Caillou]

f***'s sake you're not even 21 yet. The chances of there being something to help your hair within the next 10 years are pretty big

Usually i feel like you pretty much have given up on all the potential hair loss medications that might be released in the future. But now you state that you believe that something might actually be released within 10 years?