Well I've got perfect ears. The most beautiful, small, neat little sound recepticles that sit nice and flat against my head. Over the years I have received innumerable compliments about them from jealous guys and gals alike. The ladies especially like to nuzzle them and poke their tongues into them, which is particularly sensual when it happens during sex. The bit that sucks is that my shiny bald NW6 head is a mass of angles and knobbly bits, whilst the top is flat (I can balance a full glass on it, take my word) and makes me look like a cross between Hermann Munster and Table Mountain.
The grass is always greener buddy... forget about those ears. Nobody will look at you twice.