Almost every fat woman I see is with a guy with most of his hair who is at least in better shape than she is. I bet most guys here would date a fat woman and wonder why they can't get one. Want to know why? It's because they have better options than us. They have better options than us because too many men are willing to date women far below than because they just don't wanna be alone. Men just want it too much, and better looking guys who date women who should be on our level ruin it for us. That's why we're alone. If men would just raise their god damn standards and stick to women in their own league we could at least date less attractive women, but that would never happen because like I said men just want it too much.
The crux of the problem is too many men have low standards because they want it more.
- Thread starter W_James
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Seriously? I haven't found that to be true at all. I sometimes see decent looking guys with unattractive women, but I see the opposite much more often. However, let's assume you're right. If men are guilty of systematically lowering their standards to get women who are "far below" them, that means there are women at the very top who have no one since the men on their level aren't going for them. Go after those women.
No such luck.
Men would rather date a woman below them than be alone.
Women would rather be alone than date a man below them.
Once again, this is because men want it far more than women do.
I think you have that backwards.
What? When someone says to a women, "are you single?", that is practically an insult to most of them. The social pressure in them to find a boyfriend and a husband is crazy.
Most men see being "single" and "free" as a positive thing.
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But you kind of have a point. Very attractive guys, will be "single" and make out with a large variety of women, including fat and ugly ones. This means, the ugly ones probably can wait for an attractive guy to make-out with them. And that will happen. After, of course, the guy will kick her in the butt and she will be complaining about how no decent guy wants to date her.
Most men see being "single" and "free" as a positive thing.
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But you kind of have a point. Very attractive guys, will be "single" and make out with a large variety of women, including fat and ugly ones. This means, the ugly ones probably can wait for an attractive guy to make-out with them. And that will happen. After, of course, the guy will kick her in the butt and she will be complaining about how no decent guy wants to date her.
I have known so many very attractive alpha males who do exactly that. They will bang hot girls but also some fat and ugly ones just for the sake of variety I guess. Then the fat girls and ugly girls they banged will expect him or a guy like him to get into an exclusive long term relationship with her, which does not happen most of the time. Then of course when a guy on their level asks them out they quickly reject them because they don't want to "settle" they want a guy like the very attractive alphas who pump and dump her.
Eventually the fat girls and ugly girls do end up settling down with an average beta with enough money to be a provider, though by then they're usually even less attractive and more often than not have a kid or two. She'll mostly just be using him as a provider and won't have deeper feelings for him and she'll probably still be getting banged by alphas while he's not looking. The last woman I was with was exactly like that. 36, obese, had a kid, banged by a ton of alphas, only used me for money and a lot of evidence suggested she was ****ing other dudes while we were together. She ended up getting married to a 26 year old NW1, though he looked like a complete nerd and a huge beta.
LooseItAll
Established Member
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Because he is desperate like most average/below average men.
uncomfortable man
Senior Member
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No the crux of the problem is societies perception of baldness. It is those same social standards that put bald men at the lower rung of the totem pole and that is the problem.
The crux of the problem lies between the ears of each bald or balding man who perpetuates a victim mentality for what is a relatively mild condition that a large proportion of the male population experiences. And yes, I said mild.
The resentment, self-pity, self-loathing, defeatism, delusion, blaming, et al. are mental constructs built on the foundation of anxiety that many men feel when they catch a glimpse of their fading hair. That initial feeling of anxiety can't be controlled. However, situations that produce the anxiety can be avoided by taking a few simple steps such as removing mirrors from the home or wearing a hat. But far more importantly, the self-defacing thoughts that can accompany the onset of anxiety can be avoided; unless you want to argue that you are not in control of your own thoughts, in which case you truly are insane and should seek professional help.
Having put myself through the grinder throughout my 20s - back when I had a lush, thick and full head of hair and more youthful good looks - and now enjoying a rich, fulfilling and exciting life at 32 as an NW4 I wouldn't even consider trading spots with my younger self.
Those who ignore the refrain of "confidence matters most" are most likely those who have never actually grown into themselves and were, much like I was, far more involved in futile attempts to polish the exterior while the interior rotted. Muscle, status, income, 'toys' (sports car, motorbike, etc.) and fashion were all there. Contentment, satisfaction and meaningful relationship were not.
Find your passions. Explore them. Care for your body with the intent of good health, not good looks (though good health often produces a good appearance). Proper nutrition, good sleep habits and regular exercise. Reduce stress. Reach out to family and friends - share yourself. Build something, anything, whether that be material, spiritual, social, business or political. Help those less fortunate than yourself.
Spend some time around those suffering in truly difficult circumstances - cancer, impairment, poverty or incarceration. It will help to bring some contrast to what you are feeling. And this is by no means intended to generate guilt inside of you, but compassion for those who are in situations that invite much greater suffering; suffering that they cannot easily mask, ignore or walk away from.
You won't get results right away, but just taking actions to correct difficulties or deficiencies in your life can feel very empowering. Take whatever reasonable steps you can to reduce your hair loss then move on. Don't dwell on it. What's the point?
Stop playing the victim. It's that attitude, along with all of the negative thoughts and emotions rolling along beside it, that are having the greatest impact on your ability to connect with others and enjoy a meaningful life. Not your hairline. By objectifying the opposite sex and reducing their worth to little more than basic equations and trophies you betray your misunderstanding of love and relationship. You may believe you are being rejected for your exterior qualities, but far more likely it is the projection of your inner demons that is causing the greatest damage.
The resentment, self-pity, self-loathing, defeatism, delusion, blaming, et al. are mental constructs built on the foundation of anxiety that many men feel when they catch a glimpse of their fading hair. That initial feeling of anxiety can't be controlled. However, situations that produce the anxiety can be avoided by taking a few simple steps such as removing mirrors from the home or wearing a hat. But far more importantly, the self-defacing thoughts that can accompany the onset of anxiety can be avoided; unless you want to argue that you are not in control of your own thoughts, in which case you truly are insane and should seek professional help.
Having put myself through the grinder throughout my 20s - back when I had a lush, thick and full head of hair and more youthful good looks - and now enjoying a rich, fulfilling and exciting life at 32 as an NW4 I wouldn't even consider trading spots with my younger self.
Those who ignore the refrain of "confidence matters most" are most likely those who have never actually grown into themselves and were, much like I was, far more involved in futile attempts to polish the exterior while the interior rotted. Muscle, status, income, 'toys' (sports car, motorbike, etc.) and fashion were all there. Contentment, satisfaction and meaningful relationship were not.
Find your passions. Explore them. Care for your body with the intent of good health, not good looks (though good health often produces a good appearance). Proper nutrition, good sleep habits and regular exercise. Reduce stress. Reach out to family and friends - share yourself. Build something, anything, whether that be material, spiritual, social, business or political. Help those less fortunate than yourself.
Spend some time around those suffering in truly difficult circumstances - cancer, impairment, poverty or incarceration. It will help to bring some contrast to what you are feeling. And this is by no means intended to generate guilt inside of you, but compassion for those who are in situations that invite much greater suffering; suffering that they cannot easily mask, ignore or walk away from.
You won't get results right away, but just taking actions to correct difficulties or deficiencies in your life can feel very empowering. Take whatever reasonable steps you can to reduce your hair loss then move on. Don't dwell on it. What's the point?
Stop playing the victim. It's that attitude, along with all of the negative thoughts and emotions rolling along beside it, that are having the greatest impact on your ability to connect with others and enjoy a meaningful life. Not your hairline. By objectifying the opposite sex and reducing their worth to little more than basic equations and trophies you betray your misunderstanding of love and relationship. You may believe you are being rejected for your exterior qualities, but far more likely it is the projection of your inner demons that is causing the greatest damage.
- Reaction score
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So what your saying is build up your self esteem looking at people on the total bottom rung and give up hope for a sexual relationship and find a fatty to just "be with"?
I dunno that all doesn't sound to appealing.
I dunno that all doesn't sound to appealing.
uncomfortable man
Senior Member
- Reaction score
- 490
Yes but why do they freak out when they realize they are going bald? The deep down real reason. Fear of being rejected... because despite all of the morally upstanding assertions that "it's what's on the inside that counts" and the importance of confidence etc, much of how people react and respond to you is based off of your appearance and when male pattern baldness makes you look old and "uncool" there are people that will treat you with less respect weather it is right or not. We live in a youth obsessed image centric society and weather you choose to buy into it or not, being bald puts us at odds with that constant element that looks down on us amongst others. It doesn't just exist between the ears of bald men, it is engrained in everyones mind almost on a subconscious level since who knows when. Why has baldness been for the most part frowned upon throught history? Of course you can think for yourself and decide like Dannyboy that baldness doesn't matter and it shouldn't in an ideal world but the culture of hate against baldness that our society perpetuates exists despite what or how you or anyone thinks. I understand what you mean by choosing to be a victim but what I am trying to say is regardless of how much you can ignore the looks and teasing, they are still talking and thinking **** about you and degredating you in their minds and I just have a hard time ignoring that injustice.
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