Staring down strangers...

[treeshrew]

Have any of you ever encountered this situation before? I seem to encounter it quite often. I'm standing in line at a store, or sitting at the bar, and from across the room I catch someone staring at me - maybe it's my odd appearance?

Instead of brushing it off, I stare right back at them, making eye contact. At this point it becomes pretty stand-offish, which is bizarre, because the person is a complete stranger. But I feel like, if they're staring right at me, I'm allowed to stare right back at them.

It either continues for an uncomfortable amount of time before one of us looks away, or has sometimes led to verbal confrontation.

Maybe it's normal to get stared at, and I'm over reacting? Is it just me?

 

[s.a.f]

Cant say its ever happened to me. :whistle:

 

[uncomfortable man]

I would need more fingers and toes to count how many times this has happened to me. I think these people who stare either don't realize how rude they are being OR they are trying to provoke an uncomfortable moment or confrontation. It's like an older brother who holds their finger out in front of your face and says "I'm not touching you..." because in all reality, it is not a crime to look...or leer unapprovingly for that matter. Once while I was eating my food outside a restaurant on the patio area and this one guy wouldn't take his eyes off me. So I finally set my burrito down and starred back at him like "What?!" After what seemed like two whole minutes of starring at eachother, he just gave me a shitty smirk and ended the starring contest. He was trying to make me feel uncomfortable and leave because he didn't like the way I looked and he thought he could force me to leave because he thought he had the power to. The nerve and arrogance of some people. I ought to start bringing a tazer and hunting knife with me whenever I go outside.

 

[decro435]

This is the definition of Paranoia.

People stare at people, I do it all the time. Just happens. A lot of the time I don't even realise I'm staring and it's kind of awkward when I realise I am. Maybe those people are staring at you because of your height, your colour, your hair loss or maybe because you are good looking. Most of the time though they'll just be staring at you for no apparent reason. Who gives a sh*t?

You have to stop being insecure and deal with reality rather than what you think might be happening.

 

[uncomfortable man]

To quote old qui-gon-jin, "You're perception determines your reality.". This can go either way. For me it is negative. I don't think the people who have openly laughed at me in public do it because they think I'm cool and want to be my friend. Just being bald can provoke uninvited personal attacks. I don't ask for it and I don't go looking for it, it's just that this bald head makes me a target for anyone who is so inclined to make an issue of it- which is more people than you would think. The reality is that people do insult me all the time and although I can admit that I am sensitive, it doesn't mean that I am imagining all of this. What do you know about MY REALITY decro?

 

[uncomfortable man]

The fact that someone else wrote this thread proves that this kind of stuff does happen no matter how much you would like to deny it. Bic yourself a horseshoe, go out and see how many people laugh in your face. You give humanity too much credit. :shakehead:

 

[Cassin]

you have defeated yourself at life

 

[uncomfortable man]

you have defeated yourself at life

And you don't think that THEY had anything to do with it? It's not fair.

 

[Cassin]

you have given people too much control over your life.

 

[Cassin]

Anyway...can't argue with someone like you. You are far too gone as it stands right now.

 

[cuebald]

I have the opposite to this, in that instead of people staring at me, nobody looks at me.
It's kinda nice being almost "invisible" in this way.
I've never had any trouble anywhere I've been - I was 12 when I last had a fight.

 

[uncomfortable man]

you have given people too much control over your life.

What control? I can't control my hairloss and I can't control what other people think about me and I already know what you are going to say- you can control the way you respond to it, but that is easier said than done. I could pretend like I don't care all day long, but I don't know how to just make myself be indifferent. I can't control the way I feel....at least without some kind of medication.

 

[barcafan]

you have given people too much control over your life.

What control? I can't control my hairloss and I can't control what other people think about me and I already know what you are going to say- you can control the way you respond to it, but that is easier said than done. I could pretend like I don't care all day long, but I don't know how to just make myself be indifferent. I can't control the way I feel....at least without some kind of medication.

What control?

The 'stare' you got from a random guy a year ago is eating away at you today

 

[cuebald]

I still think you should try a piece or something UncomfortableMan, instead of walking around with a heavy heart every day. I know it's not real hair though.

Or maybe even try a regimen, do you have some minaturized hairs still? Do you think remotely that minoxidil might be able to make them big enough for Toppik to bind to?
I even apply estrogenic essential oils in the (likely vain) hope that some keratin will form

 

[qball01]

The fact that someone else wrote this thread proves that this kind of stuff does happen no matter how much you would like to deny it. Bic yourself a horseshoe, go out and see how many people laugh in your face. You give humanity too much credit. :shakehead:

Ok...then Bic the rest of your head for a fully bald head, perhaps use some product that reduces the oily glare and shine (because thats really the only negative thing I can see drawing attention from a bald head..the REALLY shiny ones) and then watch as you DON'T get laughed and pointed at. But even with a horseshoe...I don't think people really give a flying f*** about somebody else being bald. Its not like being obese where the person has done that to themselves...

But you know what?....by the end of the summer, I'll let my hair grow to about 7-10 days of growth....(or however long you think I should to guarantee the "bald man being persecuted effect) then I'll Bic my scalp in a Norwood 5 pattern so I look noticeably balding and I will spend a day downtown walking around and going into stores and I'll let you know...I can almost guarantee you that I won't feel nearly anything close to the amount of persecution that you THINK you get for being bald....

you just need to get over it and realize that you're giving YOURSELF way too much credit for thinking people really notice or give a f*** that you're bald...but if you really do think so then I'll do my experiment...I'm dead serious

 

[treeshrew]

look, this doesn't have to be about hair loss. in my case it's not. i don't have noticeable hair loss.

it could be any physical trait that makes you stand out, or that you were talking to someone, or wearing a certain shirt, anything to make someone look at you.

most people, in this situation (you caught them looking at you) will look away, but every now and then, when i meet their eyes, it holds. why should i be the one to look away? i dunno, it's probably an immature, machismo sort of thing, but i suppose i am more sensitive/observant of people's behavior, and this scenario definitely reoccurs.

so, let's say you do in fact catch someone looking at you from across the room, straight at you, and you make eye contact. you never get the urge to just look back? why should you be the one to look away?

i don't know, maybe it is a sign of some deeply set psychological disorder, maybe it's just immature, but i was just wondering if anyone else had ever been in this situation before.

 

[treeshrew]

Cant say its ever happened to me. :whistle:

saf, no offense, but you're in your 40s right? not sure you can really relate.

 

[metropolis]

[...] He was trying to make me feel uncomfortable and leave because he didn't like the way I looked and he thought he could force me to leave because he thought he had the power to. The nerve and arrogance of some people. [...]

Absolutely. Human arroganace and stupidity know no limits.

This has nothing to do with hair loss but I wanna tell you about my arrogant director (I'm a civil servant in Portugal). During a whole week that stupid b**ch made my life hell, constantly provoking me and nagging me with stupid tasks. Why? Because she wanted me to resign and quit my job. The arrogance of that b**ch! I obviously didn't resign and totally sabotaged her work. One day she was absent and I refused to answer her phone calls - I said I was too busy :woot: My contract was renewed and I still have my job. Today she doesn't bother me anymore.

As for staring down strangers: I don't know if people stare at me or not. I couldn't care less.

 

[s.a.f]

Cant say its ever happened to me. :whistle:

saf, no offense, but you're in your 40s right? not sure you can really relate.

I'm 34 so yes back in the when I was young we were too occupied with defending our land from viking invasions. Baldness of course had'nt been invented then. So I cant relate to anything to do with modern society. :roll:
Infact I dont even own a tv and still get around on my penny farthing . :jackit:

[attachment=1:ah7yw3oh]spaceball.gif[/attachment:ah7yw3oh]

Heres me back in the good old days (1995)

[attachment=0:ah7yw3oh]v0_master.jpg[/attachment:ah7yw3oh]

And heres Dudemon and Uncomfortable man back in the summer of 1997.

 

[heyitsthatguy]

[quote="s.a.f":1fklc1i3]Cant say its ever happened to me. :whistle:

saf, no offense, but you're in your 40s right? not sure you can really relate.

I'm 34 so yes back in the when I was young we were too occupied with defending our land from viking invasions. Baldness of course had'nt been invented then. So I cant relate to anything to do with modern society. :roll:
Infact I dont even own a tv and still get around on my penny farthing . :jackit:

[attachment=0:1fklc1i3]spaceball.gif[/attachment:1fklc1i3]

Heres me back in the good old days (1995)[/quote:1fklc1i3]
wtf you have internet but no tv???

and why would you waste your time riding those tall slow bikes if you could get a modern day one?