So What's Wrong With Being Confident Again?

[PappinAce]

Some of the cowards on this forum scoff at the idea of confidence and call people delusional when they encourage others. Why is this? From what I gather, what they're saying is essentially "confidence is pointless because it won't get you laid" or "women can't run their hair through your confidence". But why jump to the conclusion that it's all about sex? I bet most of you negative cowards (you know who you are) still think in terms of "getting" a girlfriend.

People don't advise hair loss sufferers to be confident because it will bring you success with women. Y'all are the ones who jumped to that conclusion and fundamentally misunderstand the point of being confident. Confidence in and of itself is the goal. It's about dedicating yourself to the things you're passionate about and the things you find meaningful, and once you find your purpose doing that, it's where confidence comes from. It's not a tool to get laid. I'll admit you're going to get laid a lot less when you go bald. Who gives a f***? Accept it, and use your f*****g hand. If your life revolves around how much pussy you smash, your confidence is built on a house of cards.

There is more that can bring you joy in life than sex with women. And virtually all of them can be done without hair. You're not going to get excited at how handsome you are in the mirror anymore, but you gotta continue to live your life without your vanity.

 

[pegasus2]

Whatever.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Confidence in and of itself is the goal.

For you, but in general that's not how popular culture discusses confidence. The manner in which it's brought up is that confidence is the master key to getting laid, which is what this forum largely scoffs at.

Confidence may give you the drive to pursue your dreams, or to capitalize on the women already attracted to you, or to put yourself out there,

But it won't cause a woman to love you or to lust for you.

 

[Goldee Lox]

Most of the negativity you see on these forums is from HairLossTalk.com Lifers.. Some of them are probably mentally and physically lost causes, so I understand their pessimism.

 

[That Guy]

Lol cope harder

 

[pegasus2]

For you, but in general that's not how popular culture discusses confidence. The manner in which it's brought up is that confidence is the master key to getting laid, which is what this forum largely scoffs at.

Confidence may give you the drive to pursue your dreams, or to capitalize on the women already attracted to you, or to put yourself out there,

But it won't cause a woman to love you or to lust for you.

That is true, but lack of confidence will turn a woman off.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

That is true, but lack of confidence will turn a woman off.

Yes, and women whining can turn a man off too. But no man will say that "posivity" is the first trait they find attractive in women.

"Your boobs are too small? Just be more positive !"
"You wear size 16 dress size? Just be more positive !"
"Your skin is riddled with acne? Just be more positive !"
"You smell bad? Just be more positive !"

It's absurd, no sensible person would ever give that constructive advice to a woman. It's much more helpful to identify the problem, weigh the pros and cons of different methods of solving it, and then moving forward by implementing one or some of the available methods.

 

[Runninghair]

''youre going to get laid alot less when you go bald. Who gives a f***? Accept it, and use your f*****g hand.''

This made me laugh

 

[Runninghair]

I get the ops point. That its not all about women. And hes right in that regard. Maybe i cant relate as a married man but i suspect the single men with hairloss feel like a sand timers been turned over and finding a partner is going to be hard for them.. Hence confidence is no conselation to them.

 

[whatevr]

The thing is though, confidence is situation specific. I actually think 'confidence' as a term is moronic, because it is usually implied that it is some universal thing.

For example, are you confident that you can:
a) Successfully perform an open heart surgery on someone if you've never done it before?
b) Do 30 consecutive pullups if you're a couch potato?
c) Tackle a dirt bike course if you've never ridden a bike in your life?

If you say 'yes' to those questions in those situations, you're not confident, you're a delusional idiot.

Being 'confident' does not allow you to do things. 'Confidence' is something you obtain once you have successfully performed an action and allows you to short-circuit the innate doubt that humans have of "Can I do this or not?" because you know you already have.

You do not choose to become confident. Faking confidence is making a moron out of yourself, because your brain has these doubts for a reason. If you've never slept with an attractive woman, you cannot be confident about it the next time you try when you know you've been rejected every single time thus far.

And as a point, becoming confident in 10 other things does not allow you to be confident in an eleventh thing, if you have no prior experience with that 11th thing. Being an extremely successful car mechanic is going to have no impact on how confident you feel on operating on a person.
If you're a generally unattractive person who's super smart and successful at his work and hobbies, that still has no bearing on your confidence in dealing with the opposite sex if you've been rejected here every time thus far.

I don't think I need to explain this further. It is preferable to deal with the problem rather than pretending that it does not exist and performing mental gymnastics to convince yourself that you can get around your failures and what people think of you.

Now I get that the morale of your post is 'forget about women' but I still don't see the relevance of confidence in that. Lack of hair doesn't really prevent me from being good at my hobbies so I still have my confidence in those things with or without hair. It prevents me with dealing with people and interacting socially on the same level as I used to. So that is kinda like someone being a piano player and losing an arm and then you telling him to just be confident in his skills as a painter because he only needs one arm there.

 

[Dante92]

Goooood, let the cope flow through you.

 

[Rudiger]

Open a cosmo magazine and see the advice they give to "get men". See what they say about men in general.

Just another day.

Does mummy get cosmo?

 

[Dante92]

Fred and whatevr said everything there is to say.

 

[GoldenMane]

You want to know if an idea about attracting women makes no sense? Just switch the genders.

Open a cosmo magazine and see the advice they give to "get men". See what they say about men in general.

"Be confident! Men like confident women." No we don't, confidence in women will turn most men off.

"Men like b****s." No we don't, we go after attractive women who can afford to be bitchy because they're attractive.

"Men are shallow and only go after the hottest women!" Oh no we certainly don't.

All of these ring a bell? Women can be as delusional as men are when it comes to attracting the opposite sex.

I like a confident, smart, funny woman. It doesn't replace physical attraction, nor does it equal it. The complete package is better. But I would consider dating a smart, funny, confident woman I wasn't physically attracted to. If someone isn't very attractive but stays in shape and dresses really well. It can add a couple of points. I'd probably choose a 6 in a skirt over an 8 in blue jeans

 

[Dante92]

I like a confident, smart, funny woman. It doesn't replace physical attraction, nor does it equal it. The complete package is better. But I would consider dating a smart, funny, confident woman I wasn't physically attracted to. If someone isn't very attractive but stays in shape and dresses really well. It can add a couple of points. I'd probably choose a 6 in a skirt over an 8 in blue jeans

 

[Rudiger]

No Fred decides what you like end of 100% absolutes all of the time end of story.

 

[GoldenMane]

What's so funny?

 

[Rudiger]

Dante's adopted this idea that just because he's an admitted pathetic loser who's given up on life, we all must be pathetic losers who should give up on life. In other words, it's laughable that you have options, even if he knows nothing about you.

The only person who isn't a pathetic loser is his hero, because he's an anonymous guy who goes to a great extent to pretend he has options. He gets credit because he goes to the effort.

 

[EvilLocks]

I'd probably choose a 6 in a skirt over an 8 in blue jeans

What's wrong with jeans? I personally love a good pair of flattering jeans. It doesn't make sense that you'd choose an average woman in a skirt over a hot woman in jeans.

 

[CopeForLife]

Anticope squad with commanders @FredTheBelgian and @whatevr obliterated infiltrated slybaldguy agent quite fast.