Sad Girlfriend- Don't know what to do- Please help

[Muffin5108]

Hey guys.
I've been having a crazy bad week. It seems like every time i think my hair is finally looking a little better and I feel like I might be able to live my life again, God thinks of some new bullcrap to chuck at me. This week i got rust in my hair, my niece and my father each pulled a fistful of my hair out, my new shampoo dried my hair out something fierce, and that's just the beginning. I hate the way this is affecting my life. I hate worrying every night how many hairs will be on my pillow in the morning, being afriad to go to the beach because of the wind, not being able to play with my neices like i want to, my girlfreind not be able to touch my head..... I look at myself in the mirror five thousand times every hour, I carry my brush with me everywhere, I'm constantly taking pictures of my head with my phone, it never goes away. It's really getting bad lately. I used to be able to smile and laugh with my girlfiend and legitimately enjoy spending time with her but now even she can't take my mind off of my hair. We are crazy in love; I never knew that this kind of love existed. But that makes me even sadder because if something as powerful as that can't take my mind off of my head, then what can? She's knows how upset I am and it makes her sad too and I know that all she wants to do is make me feel better but sometimes I'm so upset that I can't even talk with her. I sit at my computer and read or play a game or something because I know if I talk to her I might lash out and make her even more upset. But I also think that I have good reason to be upset. I'm just not happy with the way I look and I don't know how to be happy and laugh and stuff when I'm feeling so disgusted with myself. I know she understands and just wants me to be happy and would do anything to help me. But I miss the way it used to be. I want to be myself again. I feel like I'm going crazy. I think I'm just gonna shave everything off- living life this way is not worth it.

Someone please respond. I'm really on a downward spiral.

 

[SkylineGTR]

Have her shave it all off for you.

I'd think if its that disastrous to you then take it completely off so you don't have to look at it in a bad state. It would take away the triggers of seeing your hair fall out or being pulled out.

It's a big step for someone as obsessive as you but I think you'd be better off in the long run as it would help break your obsession.

 

[Muffin5108]

yeah i hear you. i'm seriously thinking about it. I dont know, I dont want to give up. Some days i thnk it looks awesome and I'm happy with it but the next day I think it looks terrible. It's so dynamic, it's hard to make a decision. I dont want to do something that I'm gonna regret so I need to think long and hard before I do it. Im thinking it might not be so bad though. If I shave my head i can still do my regimin, and then maybe start growing it again in like six months and maybe it will be thicker. My topical treatments and stuff might be more effective if I apply them directly to my scalp.

thanks for the reply

 

[chino20]

Hey Muffin, I know exactly what you mean mate. My hair genuinely affects my mood, and how I interact with those around me. A lot of the time I just can't find a way to be nice because I feel so bad inside, having seen 40 hairs fall out, or having seen my hair look totally sh*t etc. I don't know what to tell ya, maybe if you got a nice shaped head you should just buzz it. I tried it last year, and it looked pretty bad, I've got a huge forehead/strangely shaped head/thin hair, but looking back at the time I had it buzzed, and looking at pictures of me and comparing them to now, despite the hair, I looked a lot better back then and it was because I wasn't worried 100% of the time about hair and seemed to enjoy life more and that showed.

Just try the buzz cut I reckon, it's too important not to try. Your hair seems to be bringing you down, but you got too much to live for man, don't neglect everything else coz of your hair.

 

[Hans Gruber]

what treatments are you on? have you thrown everything you can at it?

i was somewhat in the same situation,i am really in love with my girl and we've planned our entire lives out together but i have always hated my hair..........im on treatments and will get a hair transplant in a while,have you consulted with a doctor? are you a good candidate?

you have something amazing in that you have met 'the one' for you and in 30 years youll both be old and grey or bald or wrinkly,looks fade ,some sooner than others but she clearly wants you for you,itll be the same in 30 years when you are able to talk and have fun and not be with someone cos of looks........sh*t i havent an idea if im making any sense,hopefully you can pull bits out of this that are relevant.....good luck man

 

[JDW]

I'll say this man, please don't let the negatives of your hair ruin your relationship. No matter how in love you are you will end up bringing about the end of your relationship if you continue to let this become such an issue. Your girlfriend is only sda about hte situation because you are sad about it and acting sad yyourself. The reality is that it\s only you who is letting it affect things and you're making it an issue for her through your actions...
you must do your best to bottle up your emotions about this in frnot of her no matter how difficult it is. Please don't think I'm preaching here man I'm jsut speaking from personal experience.

 

[Curly2bald]

I know how you feel, I have some ups and downs like you do...today beeing one of the worst down ever.

I wish I could say something to make you feel better...something to make us all feel better.

 

[liquidfirex]

Shave it... just do it.
You'll feel sooo much better.

 

[Maxpwr]

Dude, you need to snap out of it and pull yourself together! (however harsh that sounds) :agree: As JDW said, it's not her that's being affected by your hair loss - it's you. She's getting affected by the way it is changing your emotions, moods and personality. If she gets jack of it and decides to leave you, you can be guaranteed it's not gonna be 'cos of your hairloss, but rather for the fact you are growing more recluse and separating yourself from her and the rest of your family and friends. If you are crazy in love as you say then try and act like it and stop shoving her away from you.

I have often thought these sorts of thoughts you are. My girl is an absolute honey - 5 years younger than me. I worship the ground she walks on. I was getting really sad for ages there, about my hair and how it was affecting my life, but after a while realised that she's with me through thick and thin - if she leaves me it's not because of my hair loss.

I think about my hairloss as little as possible. It's hard though, considering I am fighting a losing battle... but NOTHING is gonna stand in my way of:

- good conversation (ultimately the most important thing in the world)
- having fun
- romantic pleasure
- socialising
- career development
- pursuing hobbies
- keeping fit
- starting a family
- enjoying life in general
- hitting 60+ and not having bitter regrets about my 20's and 30's
- hitting 60+ and being able to say I did everything I ever wanted to

Those close to you are the only ones who will truly understand what you are going through - don't let yourself get estranged from them.

You need to start living again and stop obsessing about your hair. The way I see it is that since I am treating my hair, I can stop worrying about it - I'm giving it the best I can, whether it works or not - unnecessary stress will only do me harm.

 

[RaginDemon]

Dude, you need to snap out of it and pull yourself together! (however harsh that sounds) :agree: As JDW said, it's not her that's being affected by your hair loss - it's you. She's getting affected by the way it is changing your emotions, moods and personality. If she gets jack of it and decides to leave you, you can be guaranteed it's not gonna be 'cos of your hairloss, but rather for the fact you are growing more recluse and separating yourself from her and the rest of your family and friends. If you are crazy in love act you say then try and act like it and stop shoving her away from you.

I have often thought these sorts of thoughts you are. My girl is an absolute honey - 5 years younger than me. I worship the ground she walks on. I was getting really sad for ages there, about my hair and how it was affecting my life, but after a while realised that she's with me through thick and thin - if she leaves me it's not because of my hair loss.

I think about my hairloss as little as possible. It's hard though, considering I am fighting a losing battle... but NOTHING is gonna stand in my way of:

- good conversation (ultimately the most important thing in the world)
- having fun
- romantic pleasure
- socialising
- career development
- pursuing hobbies
- keeping fit
- starting a family
- enjoying life in general
- hitting 60+ and not having bitter regrets about my 20's and 30's
- hitting 60+ and being able to say I did everything I ever wanted to

Those close to you are the only ones who will truly understand what you are going through - don't let yourself get estranged from them.

You need to start living again and stop obsessing about your hair. The way I see it is that since I am treating my hair, I can stop worrying about it - I'm giving it the best I can, whether it works or not - unnecessary stress will only do me harm.

good attitude you got there bro, its somewhat I am trying to do as well. I try not to let this sh*t hold me back.