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Guest
Guest
From today, I’ve officially retired from Norwood jokes or jokes about embarrassing hair loss experiences. I’m at the age where I should be getting my life together, so I no longer have any time to compile any more long winded Norwood-esqe experiences.
I was just writing my last one yesterday (about a hair-loss rap group called N.W.A. - Norwoodz With Attitude) when I just couldn't be bothered to finish it. I have loads of stories in the vaults (or the hard drive) that crack me up. Perhaps if I die of hair loss, they'll raid my computer and release some posthumous Norwood stories:-
Including one - where on Halloween, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a Norwood scale, or about the time where I was seen dabbing my Minoxidil at famous venues around the world, whilst thrusting my hairy legs in the air like Rumplestiltskin.
Infact, I wrote a classic, the tag being I 'kept cropping up' in the background at famous historic events:-
Like at President Kennedy's shooting at the Dealey Plaza - I was seen in the background running past the grassy knoll with a confused dumb face, frantcially dabbing Minoxidil 5% onto my vertex, seconds before he got shot.
When Alexander Fleming discovered Penicillin, I was seen through the window running past in the background dabbing my Minoxidil.
And when the Berlin Wall came down, again, I was spotted in the background running away with a confused face, frantically dabbing minoxidil whilst bending my knees in the air.
And when Princess Diana tragically died - I just happened to be seen running above the Paris Bridge at the time of impact, unaware, with a dumb lost expression, vigorously dabbing Minoxidil onto my head.
I 'just happened to be there' each time.
Anyway, I’m 25 and need to get my life back on track. Compiling these stories is getting me sweet no where and I get no income from writing them. They wrote themselves anyway.
I’m going to hand over the reins of comedic Norwood/hair loss experiences to someone else. Maybe one day someone will have equipment to make a hair loss film that might include some of the Horse-shoe pattern battles, or jiving around Minoxidil bottles.
But, until then, I’m done with Norwood jokes from now on.
I think it’s time to grow up, act an adult and try to get my life back on track.
I was just writing my last one yesterday (about a hair-loss rap group called N.W.A. - Norwoodz With Attitude) when I just couldn't be bothered to finish it. I have loads of stories in the vaults (or the hard drive) that crack me up. Perhaps if I die of hair loss, they'll raid my computer and release some posthumous Norwood stories:-
Including one - where on Halloween, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a Norwood scale, or about the time where I was seen dabbing my Minoxidil at famous venues around the world, whilst thrusting my hairy legs in the air like Rumplestiltskin.
Infact, I wrote a classic, the tag being I 'kept cropping up' in the background at famous historic events:-
Like at President Kennedy's shooting at the Dealey Plaza - I was seen in the background running past the grassy knoll with a confused dumb face, frantcially dabbing Minoxidil 5% onto my vertex, seconds before he got shot.
When Alexander Fleming discovered Penicillin, I was seen through the window running past in the background dabbing my Minoxidil.
And when the Berlin Wall came down, again, I was spotted in the background running away with a confused face, frantically dabbing minoxidil whilst bending my knees in the air.
And when Princess Diana tragically died - I just happened to be seen running above the Paris Bridge at the time of impact, unaware, with a dumb lost expression, vigorously dabbing Minoxidil onto my head.
I 'just happened to be there' each time.
Anyway, I’m 25 and need to get my life back on track. Compiling these stories is getting me sweet no where and I get no income from writing them. They wrote themselves anyway.
I’m going to hand over the reins of comedic Norwood/hair loss experiences to someone else. Maybe one day someone will have equipment to make a hair loss film that might include some of the Horse-shoe pattern battles, or jiving around Minoxidil bottles.
But, until then, I’m done with Norwood jokes from now on.
I think it’s time to grow up, act an adult and try to get my life back on track.
