reasons why we suffer so bad from our hairloss

[Guest]

i know that most people dont worry about hairloss. i ve asked some people what they think and all said i shouldnt worry and that it wouldnt matter.

okay maybe some look on your bald head, but not coz they care so much about it , but coz its just something you look at. doesnt mean they dont respect you anymore.

anyway, i think that the reason why we here at these forums suffer so much from hairloss is because we have other self-esteem issues.
i think people who have good self-esteem and no problems with theirself, even dont ahve problems with baldness. think about it. did you have problems with yourself before hairloss? i did. and i think most of you did. but ask your self. did you have self-esteem issues?

i think to get to a point not to suffer anymore from hairloss we must solve these self-esteem issues which we had before our hairloss. a psychologist may definatley help but i think we even can handle this without one.

but to solve this problem we have to really think about it what self-esteem problems we really had. think about it. why did you have self-esteem issues? what were the problems?
okay, how to solve these problems is another question. i think talking about these problems which you had before hairloss is the best way to come over them. and thats the way to overcome the suffering from hairloss.

genius, not? lol. (okay, maybe im even talking completley crap)

 

[lnknstyl]

Sorry man, I totally disagree. I don't want to sound negative, but I was much more confident when I had my hair, as opposed to the recent 5 years during which I have constantly dealt with the effects of hairloss.

1) I think it has hurt my career - interviewers don't think I have much upside than all the rest of the candidates who have full heads of hair...making them look smarter, healthier, more positive = better hire for a company. I mean, even though I am an engineer, I have rarely had any technical questions during interviews (90% have been subjective questions), so they are definitely not judging by knowledge. Keep in mind that this probably does not matter for an older person, but for a younger man just out of college, I think it definitely plays a large part in your potential upside to a company.

2) It is harder to make new friends, especially when you move to a new city...don't have any contacts.

3) Ladies...well I won't go there, because why would a woman in her twenties prefer a guy who is losing his hair. I mean, which man prefers overweight women?

4) I feel that most bald guys play down their depression/anxiety, but I am just being honest. Most of the ones I know are two-faced liars, hypocrites.

 

[Guest]

ya, maybe im wrong. but for me its true what i said. and if you really think about it maybe you even find something. really think about it!

 

[Guest]

I had some issues before I noticed my hairloss... not very severe, but still some. The hairloss was like the last nail to my coffin, hehe. Well, I'm getting over it, something just tells me that the shaved look could suit me well so I'm not quite that stressed anymore.

 

[IBM]

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[hairwegoagain]

1) I think it has hurt my career - interviewers don't think I have much upside than all the rest of the candidates who have full heads of hair...making them look smarter, healthier, more positive = better hire for a company. I mean, even though I am an engineer, I have rarely had any technical questions during interviews (90% have been subjective questions), so they are definitely not judging by knowledge. Keep in mind that this probably does not matter for an older person, but for a younger man just out of college, I think it definitely plays a large part in your potential upside to a company.


3) Ladies...well I won't go there, because why would a woman in her twenties prefer a guy who is losing his hair. I mean, which man prefers overweight women?

OK Chicken Little, time for you to buck up and stop blaming everything on hairloss. I've seen your posts and you need to snap out of it. I know this is keeping you down mentally, but that's the ONLY area it's keeping you down. Everyone goes through it - but there comes a time when you have to stand up and make the best of what you've been dealt. It is some consolation to you internally that you can automatically blame these things on hairloss....like a little lockbox of justification where you can always hide - but friend, it is not limiting you as you claim. You probably drag around depressed all the time because you can't escape your own thoughts. People can sense that like a Kodiak bear senses fear. Get your spirits up, even if you have to fake it - and see what happens insofar as personal interactions. The "hairloss has ruined me" song is very weak....like "dog ate my homework" weak.

I fully expect you and/or others to come back and gauge my commentary as harsh...but it's the damn truth and the sooner you realize that and ACT upon it the sooner you'll get your life back. Until then, there's nothing to blame but Mr. IBM.

 

[btp11]

i would venture to say that most people have some sort of self esteem issues. most people arent 100% happy with who they are...i dont think ive ever met someone who didnt have a few issues of their own.

 

[Cassin]

i would venture to say that most people have some sort of self esteem issues. most people arent 100% happy with who they are...i dont think ive ever met someone who didnt have a few issues of their own.

Bingo.

I know a girl who has issues with her forearms. She thinks they look weird andshe mostly wears long sleeve shirts. It's just the way some folks are and besides that she isn't obsessed with her looks. My best friend since 5th grade won't wear shorts because he hates his calves, but he is obsessed with his looks.

 

[CCS]

the difference between me and these perfectionists is at the end of the day they still get attractive dates and I get no one.

Of course everyone has problems and insecurities, but that does not mean they are all equal. the guy with the calves can work them out. i can't make my hair grow. Of course I can make the best of my situation, but that does not mean i can do nearly as well as i would otherwise, or that i can get the attractive women I want to date.

i was going to get laser hair removal, and my 72 hour a week work aholic fat friend told me not to do it, saying even he won't laser the patches on his back because it is pointless. However, he did tell me I should get the hair grafts because they would get me a job. i had not even though of it from this angle. All i knew was that no matter how great a conversation with a woman was going or how much fun I was having, when I told her I liked her, she avoided me after that. this has happened many time, though plenty of fat women have hit on me. I have 4 pack abs and nice shoulders and exercise daily. Just because i'm short and bald, two things that are genetic, the only women I can get are the ones who don't take care of their bodies at all.

well I'm not hiding in a hole. I'm taking my sister's advice, which is to not try dating anyone now. She says i should focus on homework and body building and wait for my hair grafts to grow in all the way, and says that once I look good, it won't getting dates won't take any effort at all. it just happens. you don't have to read all these books and wooing women.

 

[IBM]

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[powersam]

losing your hair at or before 20 is not normal and should be treated. female hair loss is treated as if it were a genuine illness and i think premature male pattern baldness should also be seen the same way.

 

[DaSand]

losing your hair at or before 20 is not normal and should be treated. female hair loss is treated as if it were a genuine illness and i think premature male pattern baldness should also be seen the same way.

How is losing it before 20 not normal?

 

[hairwegoagain]

losing your hair at or before 20 is not normal and should be treated. female hair loss is treated as if it were a genuine illness and i think premature male pattern baldness should also be seen the same way.

Treating it is fine if you want to do so, but saying that hairloss is not "normal" before 20 is like saying that redheads aren't normal. They're statistically the least likely outcome, but they do occur.

Guys, I'm not trying to dismiss the anguish that's associated with realizing your hair is going....we've all been through it to one degree or another....but many of you continue to take it to extremes - clearly devoting more worry and frustration to it than it deserves, and using it as an excuse for why you can't get go out and get a date, job, or you name it. All of that is utter rubbish.

A girl says no? You go find another that you like and ask her. Repeat until you get a yes. This is the strategy whether you have hair or not. You will eventually get the yes. You just have to stop acting like a victimized "woe is me" dweeb who's already programmed for defeat. Same thing goes for jobs, friends, fill in the blank. male pattern baldness isn't keeping you from doing a damn thing.

Example:

I'm married to a beautiful girl
good friends
great career
I have a nice house, a couple nice cars,"toys", and net worth
I do as I wish (well, at least *sometimes* )

Wait a second, I've got male pattern baldness! How can all of this be? I was balding when I met my wife, and the many cute girls I dated previous to her. I've been balding throughout my career and have continued to earn promotions. What gives? Certainly they wouldn't let me represent my Fortune 500 company at an executive level with a balding scalp! Every opportunity that I've taken and continue to take advantage of in past 10-12 years must be a fraud! The world is trying to fool me! I must be a charity case that everyone's kept under wraps for over 30 years!

What makes me different than you? Nothing - except that I've never allowed something as innocuous as hair to keep my mind from allowing me to do the things I've wanted to do. Sure, I'd like to have hair for ME, but male pattern baldness is not the root cause of any failure. It is not something that converts you into an outcast on any level. Some of you guys need to stop wrongly attributing lack of success, however you define it, to male pattern baldness.

 

[Aplunk1]

Word.

That's the truth, and I'm glad someone said it.

Just yesterday, I shaved my beard. She started bitching about how she liked my beard, then she looked up at my hairline and said, "You look like you're 35."

I then said, "Shut the f*** up. You're ugly."

That shut her mouth.

lol, at least I wasn't offended by her remark.

 

[powersam]

comparing premature hair loss to redheads just doesnt fit the bill. the fact that prematurely balding men are more likely to suffer from heart disease would suggest that it is a symptom of a more serious underlying condition. whats more, the immune system, hormonal imbalances and glucose control problems have all been associated with the condition.

being a redhead is just a factor of pigmentation.

i agree with the rest of your post, and have never let hair loss run my life nor limit my options. moreover congratulations on the success you have achieved. however i do think premature male pattern baldness is a degenerative condition and should be treated as such.

 

[hairwegoagain]

comparing premature hair loss to redheads just doesnt fit the bill. the fact that prematurely balding men are more likely to suffer from heart disease would suggest that it is a symptom of a more serious underlying condition. whats more, the immune system, hormonal imbalances and glucose control problems have all been associated with the condition.

It's not a perfect analogy...but consider that redheads are also much more suceptible to carcinomas due the inability of their skin to resist UV damage. We can draw associations for each, but my point is that balding early is not akin to being born with 12 toes or a third eye.

however i do think premature male pattern baldness is a degenerative condition and should be treated as such.

Perhaps it will be someday, who knows? There are so many things that might fit into the degenerative category that I don't know where one would start. I just read an article announcing study results that people with short legs have a higher risk for Type 2 diabetes.

i agree with the rest of your post, and have never let hair loss run my life nor limit my options. moreover congratulations on the success you have achieved.

Thank you very much - but know that I'm absolutely no different than anyone here. Everyone here can do the same or better. It's a simple matter of taking advantage of opportunities, and making your own, throughout life. I'm very much a normal guy.

Powersam - this is not directed towards you because it sounds like you're doing great - congrats on that. Aplunk, you're positioning yourself extremely well and there's no doubt you will stay on that track and continue and grow your success. I couldn't be more happy for you with the changes in your outlook and the strength you've exhibited in taking charge of your future - which is a very bright one indeed.

For some of you other guys, an opportunity passed is an opportunity lost. Think of it this way - each opportunity you decline is one less you'll be granted in your lifetime. That adds up very quickly. Your 20s and 30s are generally the times in which you, for lack of a better phrase, "make a name for yourself" and establish yourself in business, career, and socially. It's a foundation for the rest of your life. Don't pour that foundation out of mud.

 

[Aplunk1]

Thanks man.

 

[DaSand]

Word.

That's the truth, and I'm glad someone said it.

Just yesterday, I shaved my beard. She started bitching about how she liked my beard, then she looked up at my hairline and said, "You look like you're 35."

I then said, "Shut the f*** up. You're ugly."

That shut her mouth.

lol, at least I wasn't offended by her remark.

Funny thing, I was talking about my friend who suggested I update my picture for my driver's liscense and joked how I had more hair. I told him "You're on the same boat as me pal" and he smiled uncomfortably.

 

[CCS]

that is true that our 20' and 30's are when we make a name for ourselves. it is normal for many people to be just starting out during this time. after that, employers look at how many years you were working at jack n the box and will not give you any position higher than that no matter what you do. i guess you can pull out of it a bit, but you have to work harder and longer to change your rep.

at age 20 you are in competition with other inexperienced men. If you can somehow learn the skills, you can maybe keep a good looking women. at age 30, your competition is more skilled, and you better be too unless you look good. competition just keeps getting steeper.