[rant] The way society deals even with early stages of hair loss is disgusting

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Hello,

just to make things clear, being norwood 2ish with a good initial response to finasteride I am fully aware that I am probably not suffering nearly as hard those are are at further stages of hair loss at younger ages. It doesn't look bad yet, but I am certainly at a point where I need some regrowth to look "good". Anyhow, this does not take anything away from the anger about the way the people around me deal with me and the fact that I suffer because of my changing appearance.

First, my dermatologist. Now don't get me wrong, I cannot stress enough how much I love this guy, easily the best specialist I ever dealt with. He "cured" me from acne (although curable, I feel that acne is an even worse disease - maybe I am just not bald enough yet) with isotretinoine (accutane, by the way anyone who thinks that finasteride side effects are bad should take a good load of that stuff to get to know "serious" side effects) 2 years ago and I've been having no trouble with it whatsoever ever since. What does my head in though is that he knew from the first appointment that I was balding. Yes, I probably should have noticed this on my own, but I feel that he as a specialist who sees this since the dawn of time (young men ignoring the early stages of balding and then going crazy when it finally becomes obvious) he could have just dropped a small hint. And to make things worse he is really easy about prescribing finasteride. Back in the 90's he informed patients who stated that they were unhappy about their hair loss that an effective treatment is about to arrive soon and on the day proscar was launched in Germany he lined up patients in his office and wrote nearly 100 off-label prescriptions for anyone who had expressed interest. And that is how he does it to this day, nearly anyone who asks gets a prescription. Because as a good doctor he knows that there is nothing else that actually works.
Looking at the way finasteride works for me it is obvious that I could have saved so much more hair with ease. But even a (good) dermatologist ignores balding at first.


Same goes for my family (or my hair stylist, or my friends, or whoever I actually talk about it). I got a lot of flack for being very skinny when I was younger from my mother and my sister, now, after a couple of years of lifting I get **** on for carrying a little more fat on my body sometimes, but yet no-one never actually mentioned my hair loss. And now that it is late I get mocked for that as well. What the actual ****? Do they really believe that the truth (which comes out anyway when hair loss becomes obvious) is less bearable than the constant, more or less obvious mockery? And unlike myself, my sister said that she actually did notice my hair loss, she just "felt unable to communicate it properly".

What is it that makes this society so incredible dishonest about hair loss? I acknowledge that this is my life and my responsibility, but somehow any other physical "deviation" from the attractive norm (such as height, weight/stature or even other skin-related diseases such as acne) is communicated in an open and honest way. Yes, that will sometimes be hard to swallow for an individual, but it is miles better than this combination of ignorance/denial in the first place followed by the general aversion that every baldie experiences in the following stages of hair loss.


/end of rant.
 

buckthorn

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Same goes for my family (or my hair stylist, or my friends, or whoever I actually talk about it). I got a lot of flack for being very skinny when I was younger from my mother and my sister, now, after a couple of years of lifting I get **** on for carrying a little more fat on my body sometimes, but yet no-one never actually mentioned my hair loss. And now that it is late I get mocked for that as well. What the actual ****? Do they really believe that the truth (which comes out anyway when hair loss becomes obvious) is less bearable than the constant, more or less obvious mockery? And unlike myself, my sister said that she actually did notice my hair loss, she just "felt unable to communicate it properly".


^This - I have dealt with this my entire life. When I was ten, my parents owned a restaurant and made me a cook. Every day, I would stuff my face with fried food and they wouldn't say a thing. I was fat and bullied all through middle school, and my family would occasionally make comments about my weight. When I was 15, I literally told every one to f*ck off, ate nothing but soup for an entire summer and ran. Came back to school 40 lbs lighter. Everyone then started noticing and commenting on how I looked.

I have obvious hair loss, diffused thin every where. NO one in my family would ever tell me this. My friends won't even tell me. If I bring it up (I am smart enough not to now) then it is very quickly dismissed with, "oh, you look fine" or "you have tons of hair" blah blah. The most reasonable thing any friend has told me was, "dude, you're almost mid thirties, you're going to lose you hair".

What I have personally learned is that you're on your own when it comes to physical insecurity. This is simply the way society is, especially in the U.S. Bob Marley sings, "every man thinks his burden is the heaviest" (probably from the bible). There is so much truth in this statement. 95% of the people you meet will dismiss any struggle you are dealing with, UNLESS it's life threatening or visually very apparent. Lose your arm, your leg or be diagnosed with cancer and people all of a sudden jump to your side. However, you could be suffering serious depression from another, more natural physical change, such as baldness, or weight gain, or aging.. and it's written off almost immediately. I don't blame any one for this. It is not any single persons fault for being environmentally conditioned this way. We as humans have created this inherent issue, where talking and discussing our weaknesses is wrong or bad. Especially men.
 

Rudiger

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It's unconsciously socially acceptable and unconsciously socially unacceptable at the same time, this is the reason it really eats at us and leaves every balding man confused.

It's acceptable socially because people aren't surprised by it, they don't expect a young person to be bald, but they aren't shocked either, it happens, we see bald men all the time. It's socially unacceptable because, on a personal level, for pretty much every person, it doesn't look good, it triggers a sense of danger or weak genetics, it stirs a sense of sympathy or laughter, at the mis-fortune.

So they didn't say anything because while they may subconsciously not like the end result, they also are used to seeing it, so because everything is working at the back-end of the brain, they don't feel the need to tackle the issue, because it happens and they are used to it.

Most importantly, I wouldn't blame anyone for not pointing it out.
 

jd_uk

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Perhaps because a bit of hair loss in men is so common in men that it's almost expected...
 

buckthorn

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It's unconsciously socially acceptable and unconsciously socially unacceptable at the same time, this is the reason it really eats at us and leaves every balding man confused.

Perfect. I am stealing this from you. haha :bravo:
 

Joan

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So now I'm stuck buying Indian generic stuff because I'm ashamed of going again and telling them again I think I am balding.

Do you have a PCP who will write you a prescription for finasteride? I got my spironolactone prescription from my PCP initially.
 

buckthorn

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Mine was worse. I went to an appointment since I felt I was at NW2 already and most definitely thinning, so I went solely to inform my doctor I was starting to bald. And guess what? In comes this 5'6" NW7 bald guy (clearly fell for the "just shave it bro" crap) to examine my hairline. And me, being 6'1", I just couldn't help staring down at his gleaming hairline that he was so desperately trying to hide. I saw in his eyes that he was uncomfortable with me staring while he was talking to me about my previous blood test results, but I didn't care - I kept staring at his hairline.

So when he was done telling me my blood test results were fine, I showed him my temples and he acknowledged there were signs of male pattern baldness. His recommendation?? That I get on BIOTIN. The NW7 balding madman actually told me to get on Biotin. I said I wanted to get on finasteride, he told me I should probably wait because I was under stress and still had small hairs in my temples, so it might not be male pattern baldness. So now I'm stuck buying Indian generic stuff because I'm ashamed of going again and telling them again I think I am balding.

Don't buy that indian generic stuff. Check out the medical wellness center, online. They are 100% legit, as experienced through several of us on this forum. You pay $50 for a prescription analysis, that is sent to their compounding pharmacy (murray ave. apothecary).. This place has an extensive list of awesome stuff. I have been getting my 15% minoxidil cream from them. There are other online sites that are willing to fill prescriptions for you as well. You don't even have to go see a damn dermatologist.
 

rocklegends

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Don't buy that indian generic stuff. Check out the medical wellness center, online. They are 100% legit, as experienced through several of us on this forum. You pay $50 for a prescription analysis, that is sent to their compounding pharmacy (murray ave. apothecary).. This place has an extensive list of awesome stuff. I have been getting my 15% minoxidil cream from them. There are other online sites that are willing to fill prescriptions for you as well. You don't even have to go see a damn dermatologist.

Yes, this is a viable option. I'm curious as to where you received the indian generics. I personally have been using cipla brand finasteride from ADC since I began, and I can speak to the continuing efficacy of the product. Perhaps you received a bad batch from an nonreputable area? the generic would be the far more economical option, as you can get an entire year's worth of finasteride for about 80 USD
 
T

tellersquill

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I think the original poster may be a little sensitive to criticism.

You need to thicken that skin up.

My advice - only take offense if insulted by someone better than you. As most people are losers you will seldom take offense.
 

swingline747

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Don't buy that indian generic stuff. Check out the medical wellness center, online. They are 100% legit, as experienced through several of us on this forum. You pay $50 for a prescription analysis, that is sent to their compounding pharmacy (murray ave. apothecary).. This place has an extensive list of awesome stuff. I have been getting my 15% minoxidil cream from them. There are other online sites that are willing to fill prescriptions for you as well. You don't even have to go see a damn dermatologist.

15% minoxidil??
Have a link?
 
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