You all have very good points. Makes me wonder if this stigma is involved in the gay community. Perhaps it is one of those societal traits linked only to masculinity. I am sure women more openly discuss hair loss with their girlfriends, perhaps even on social media, if it happens to them. My friends and I are very open with discussing almost anything. We are far from the more conservative types that keep everything to themselves... and yet, still, it is something awkward to talk about. Maybe it's because we all instinctively know what a touchy topic it is? If one of us is completely bald, it's not unusual for that person to crack a joke about it. If one of us is in the process of losing hair, it makes it so much more difficult.
The idea that men have developed this stereotype of having to deal with everything internally is true and it's true for almost anything men go through. Women talk about weight all the time on social media, while for men it's pretty rare. Skin, nails, hair, teeth and almost everything else linked to a man's physical appearance seems off the table, except for building muscle. Another masculine trait that is easily openly discussed, along with fast cars, hunting and remodeling houses... etc...
To be honest, when discussing fitness on facebook I'm far more comfortable with discussing losing fat than building muscle. I believe that the latter will be perceived as a vain waste of time and a pathetic alternative to just having more confidence. If I did write about strength gains I would do so very carefully, I would discuss only hormones and injury prevention.
However when discussing things privately with people I have no problem mentioning the aesthetic aspects, or asking for clothing advice, et cetera. I talk to my friends like I do to people here, but I do not talk that way on FB. I'm extremely careful there ... and I'm someone who probably has a social awareness deficit.
I've lost a lot of weight (as mentioned above), and I will need to buy an entire wardrobe soon. I might ask for advice here or to other friends privately. I will not post it as a global facebook question, I believe it will make me look vain. Worse, some blowhard might respond "Just go to salvation army, it's cheap, looks don't matter anyway just be confident in your own skin." and get 25 likes.
It's different with women. Particularly beautiful women, they can post the most mundane news or comments and be celebrated for it. Something on the order of:
"
Normally, in the mornings, I first brush my teeth and then floss, but this morning I wanted to experiment, I flossed first and then brushed my teeth" -
26 comments, 135 likes
As a man you are not supposed to suffer, be weak, need help, or require putting in an effort.
One thing that's acceptable for man to show on facebook is dominance of a sport, like if you broke your best time on the 10K jog or you biked a new trail. But probably not acceptable is to say that you've hit a plateau, or that you're struggling and are considering quitting. If you tried to go up a mountain and only made it halfway up -- suffer alone.
Another example, I bought an electrical razer that I use to nip my nose hairs once a month. It is easy, cheap, and works great. I could do a lot of people favours by posting about it and encouraging people to use it: but I won't. Because it would also let everyone know that I raze my nose hairs once a month, which would make me look bad. Meanwhile, I recall a female friend of mine getting tons of love, support, and advice a while back when she posted about how she was tired about needing to pay money to shave her legs and arms. She wasn't trying to help people, she was asking for help/support, which is totally fine for women to do publicly and she got it. Everybody encouraged her to stop shaving her legs, arms, etc and told her she was beautiful either way.
