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Today marks 1 year and 4 months since I started NO CONTACT with my ex girlfriend of 3 years +. We've become friends in our first year of high school and we started dating by the time we were graduating, meaning that our relationship as human beings lasted for, approximately, 6 years. To make it brief, the reason why I decided to go No Contact is because she was avoiding me and becoming distant, without giving me any explanation. I assumed she was depressed with the world going crazy in 2020, but I noticed her behavior was aimed only towards me . As I was crawling on her feet and being her attention slave every single day, I became tired and ended up going No Contact, without telling her that I would, after a fight. However, I warned her that if she wanted us together, she would be the one to crawl now. Well, I guess she didn't want anyway.
A week had passed since the last time I talked to her, and that week soon became a month, and that month became 6 months and finally a year. This span of months was a roller coaster to me, because I faced my hair loss at its worst, lost my grandmother and failed several job interviews. I couldn't live in anger no longer so I firmly decided I would take care of myself and of those who I love; and I did. I achieved many things, although simple, during this period of time. I still haven't fixed my hair, but it's better than it was a couple of months ago. Yet, I can't forget her. She crosses my mind daily and honestly, it's a burden.
I am aware that I am mainly reminding myself of the memories of us, and of what she used to be. I haven't seen her during this whole time, how could I be in love with a person I no longer know? I tell these things to myself, but it's no use at all. The pain isn't lingering anymore, but I wish I could get rid of that nostalgia, those memories. Many times the thought of talking to her crossed my mind, but I end up giving up, because it's something I really don't want to do. It would mess my mind even more.
So, what advice do you guys have? I feel like we didn't break up at all because we simply stopped talking. Of COURSE we broke up in a way, but I didn't reach closure. I feel like I need it to get rid of the image of her once and for all, but I don't want to call her on dm either. I appreciate the time you took to read all my bullshit, and thank you for your answers.
Have a nice day!
A week had passed since the last time I talked to her, and that week soon became a month, and that month became 6 months and finally a year. This span of months was a roller coaster to me, because I faced my hair loss at its worst, lost my grandmother and failed several job interviews. I couldn't live in anger no longer so I firmly decided I would take care of myself and of those who I love; and I did. I achieved many things, although simple, during this period of time. I still haven't fixed my hair, but it's better than it was a couple of months ago. Yet, I can't forget her. She crosses my mind daily and honestly, it's a burden.
I am aware that I am mainly reminding myself of the memories of us, and of what she used to be. I haven't seen her during this whole time, how could I be in love with a person I no longer know? I tell these things to myself, but it's no use at all. The pain isn't lingering anymore, but I wish I could get rid of that nostalgia, those memories. Many times the thought of talking to her crossed my mind, but I end up giving up, because it's something I really don't want to do. It would mess my mind even more.
So, what advice do you guys have? I feel like we didn't break up at all because we simply stopped talking. Of COURSE we broke up in a way, but I didn't reach closure. I feel like I need it to get rid of the image of her once and for all, but I don't want to call her on dm either. I appreciate the time you took to read all my bullshit, and thank you for your answers.
Have a nice day!
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