On the Importance of Fitness in Attracting the Opposite Sex

[Afro_Vacancy]

This is mostly for those who remain skeptical claims made on this forum, backed by countless studies and anecdotes, that physical appearance is of primary importance in attracting the opposite sex. I link to this long thread, running ten years now, from bodybuilding.com:

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=898532
Were you treated differently after losing alot of weight?

I've been reading it on and off for a while now, getting the anecdotes for inspiration. By now thousands of people have commented, though I have not made it all the way through. Here are the trends I have noticed:

- Both men and women notice a difference in how the opposite sex responds to them;
- This is true for both sexual companionship and just general aspects of life, like friendship or help with random things, etc;
- For men, it may not be a continuous process, but rather a "jump" in response levels from women when BF% drops to the 10-13% range. For me this may be the most counterintuitive finding;
- Some men say they didn't notice much difference when they first lost weight. Rather, they had to lose weight, then gain muscle, then lose fat again before getting much better treatment;
- A rare poster says "no difference";
- Once you look better, it takes you a while to lose the personality and temperament of the fat loser, you can be a fit person on the outside but not on the inside;

What we have here are a lot of anecdotes (there's no precise studies for this) showing a tremendous impact from just adjusting two factors: body fat percentage and lean body mass, doesn't include the other things you could be going. I personally find it inspirational, it's helped me lose ~half the total weight I need to lose, and gives me a little something more to look forward to as I've always had a suboptimal time with women. I'm self-driven most days, but haring success stories helps for those other days, and hence helps with consistency.

 

[shookwun]

it isn't a surprise.


Women are much more receptive, and thought initiating in conversations of men they find physically attractive.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

it isn't a surprise.


Women are much more receptive, and thought initiating in conversations of men they find physically attractive.

Are you speaking from personal experience as somebody whose appearance has evolved in your recent life? Or from general observations of other people?

 

[shookwun]

I'm speaking from personal experience, and from one that evolved through the years.

it's all environment dependent. The more hostile the social setting such as a bar, and club the more clear the picture will be when you approach a women. All that social sensitivity, and inhibitions of sweet natured moral go out the door after a few drinks. Women become sexually absorbed, and know their on a battleground of males competing with one another. These type of settings will shape the reality of how women actually feel about you.

A church, and grocery store isn't a good place to gauge on receptive a women is.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

The person who posted this is 5'7, and was ~26 at the time of posting:

Guess I'll have to share my story. About 6 months back I went bar/club hopping. I weighed 220lbs, 20%+ body fat, had a beer belly hangout, wore 36 waist pants,...list goes on. Anyway, trying to dance and meet a chick was off radar. All the ones I could dance and talk with I didn't find attractive and all the ones I'd get shot down by would be the ones I found attractive.

After I started working out for 3 months, I lost 35 to 40 lbs, weighed 175 lbs-ish, lost the huge beer belly (still have a tiny one), my body fat is about 11% to 13%, and my waist size is a 32 to 33 now. I went clubbing/bar hopping just the past weekend, and OMG, the difference in how people treat you when you're skinny/toned/no beer belly is crazy. I went up to the bar to buy my friends and us drinks, and this group of girls just waved at me, came over, and started conversing with me! One of the girls ended up making out with me a little later in the night!

It's quite sad to realize that looks do matter, in various aspects of life. Whether it be the dating scene, going to the grocery store, and even during job interviews! I read an article where an HR personnel found that if an overweight vs. a slimmer person had the same credientials, they would pick the slimmer person due to the overweight individual having a preconception of being lazy/sloppy with taking care of him/herself and therefore that would transfer to his/her work/business ethics...crazy world, but it's the one we live in.

So work out and keep on grinding it out in the gym!

You look better, live healthier, and life improves...stay fat and I'm afraid it's the total opposite.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=898532&page=212

 

[shookwun]

It's rely no surprise. Fat is one of the biggest contributors to a decrease in facial aesthetics. it hides our angularity, and bone structure.

Fatness, and hairloss = destroyers of aesthetics.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

It's rely no surprise. Fat is one of the biggest contributors to a decrease in facial aesthetics. it hides our angularity, and bone structure.

Fatness, and hairloss = destroyers of aesthetics.

If I were a sociologist, I would get into the newspapers with the following simple study.

One day, take photos of all couples getting married within some major city, or nearly, would take a bit of "field work" which social scientists are loathe to do.

Follow them up five years later, and plot the probability of the woman initiating divorce as a function of the man's weight gain, and the man's hair loss.

The resulting headline "For a man, going bald is as unattractive as gaining 47 lbs" would make the news the world over.

NB: I'm not actually sure if it would be 47 lbs or another number.

 

[IAgainstI]

No doubt... If you lined them up in order of attractiveness, the women I've been with would match up perfectly with my relative fitness at the time.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Honestly Fred i see only a minor difference.

 

[shookwun]

ye get top 85kg of muscle not fat?


Fat has much more volume then muscle.

 

[Joan]

Doesn't work, at least without a huge investment that's not worth it in my opinion.

I've explained my reasons many times. Let's just say that if you had my body, you would understand.

And you would give up.

Fred, not everyone is into lifting. If you're happy with your physique, that's all that matters. If you choose to tone your midsection, you can do crunches and get at least a four-pack if you have hereditary belly fat. I'll never see a six-pack again without a TT, but I still work my abs anyway. Weightlifting isn't everyone's thing; who cares? Just be happy with yourself. And I still think you are going to be one of the lucky few who looks better with age.

 

[buckthorn]

Doesn't work, at least without a huge investment that's not worth it in my opinion.

I've explained my reasons many times. Let's just say that if you had my body, you would understand.

And you would give up.

My advice would be to gear brah... within a months, you'll have a godlike body like me, like a greek statue. You will slang so much tang your head will spin brah.

 

[buckthorn]

Buckthorn pics of your body or it didn't happen

I was being sarcastic buddy. haha :woot:

 

[oni MKII]

It was once said, many moons ago on this site.

Shave your head, get a tan and hit the gym............

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

A bald person looks better without a beer belly.
A fullhead looks better without a beer belly.

So if you're a retard, you'll read that to mean that balding people should accept baldness and hit the gym.

 

[nyjrb]

Whether I'm at 70 kg instead or 74 kg can make a huge difference.

I always listened to the stupid advice my relatives gave me: "Yeah Fred, you're 1m90 so you need to be at least 85 kg! Even 90 kg!"

Wrong. Completely wrong. Even at 75 kg, my face looks so fat and puffy.

This is me around 70 kg:

And this is the outline of my face around 75 kg:

My relatives say the difference is all in my head and that I still should aim for 85 kg! Damn, I would look like a balloon.

Everyone is different, we don't stock fat the same way. For me, it's all in the lower belly and the fact, and nothing elsewhere.

I think you and I have a similar body type. I'm a skinny guy, but when I put on a small amount weight it's all lower belly and under my chin. I've been told that I need to put on weight, but I won't. It will all go straight to my belly. Not the look that I'm going for. I wonder what will happen once we reach middle age, and storing belly fat is the norm. Will we be able to fight it off? I hope so.

 

[oni MKII]

I had been doing Muay Thai for many years and have fair skin. I did shave my head many years ago........

I would love to get a good tan.............

I will be getting into weight training more as I am now 40 and don't have a good Thai boxing gym in easy reach anymore.

The comment, 'Shave your head, get a tan and hit the gym' was always a bit tongue in cheek and was meant as a cure all to male pattern baldness...........