No matter how hard I try I still cant cope with NW1:s

[superfrankie]

No matter how hard I work out I still come across as tired, shabby or sad. And I cant help it. My light skin and dark horseshoe makes it impossible to change peoples first impression about me.

I often get randoom comments like: "you look tired, been sleeping badly lately?" even though I have not.

A guy I know, a true NW1 easily gets chicks just by looking at them, even though he is the most boring person you can find out there. I am not exaggerating here. He doesnt even work out, have terrible posture BUT no matter how hard I try I will never look as fresch-looking (or even at all) as him, which in turn is the factor that gives him chances by women. (even though they later on realize how dull his personality is). But at least his first physical impression got him the chance to even talk to her whithout her looking uninterested/running away.

 

[qball01]

I know it sucks being so young and having such bad hairloss...but you've gotta see how your negativity just compounds the situation and makes it 10 times worse.

Ever heard of the phrase "There is More than one way to skin a cat?" Its a vulgar-sounding proverb...but it makes a lot of sense. There is more than one way to attract women would you not agree? As hard as it is though...you've gotta stop comparing yourself to other guys because that just drains all your mental energy. I'm guessing that even if you put on a good act, you still find it hard to be relaxed and easy-going when you're in public or at social gatherings? If thats the case, you're pretty much destroying your other asset because you're busy beating yourself up mentally comparing yourself to Norwood 1's.

You've gotta realize....maybe that can't be you. You can't be the guy who just looks at women and has them flocking...but guess what, that isn't most guys either...even most Norwood 1's. Trust me...I know how it can feel...it can really piss you off when you see some guy hardly working for it, but wouldn't you be much better served by playing up your best assets (personality traits) and making sure they shine through, rather than being bitter that some other guy has it easier than you because girls find him so attractive?

I'm telling you man...maybe the fact you look tired is also partly due to the fact that all these negative emotions you feel just sap the life out of you. If you can focus your energy on yourself and not worrying about other people then you're gonna get a hell of a lot farther than what you're currently doing.

Yeah, the handsome, tall NW1's who easily attract women initially piss me off too...but does that mean that for every other guy (and there are still plenty of average/unattractive NW1's) they just give up? No...they use other attributes get the same results...even if its not as easy. The best thing to do is try and reach a place where it just doesn't bother you as much. Because women especially can appreciate a man who accepts himself regardless of his flaws because they sure as hell have a hard time doing that themselves...just my thoughts.

 

[bigentries]

I think you are projecting your own insecurities on others.

I'm not going to deny hair loss is making you less attractive, what it has to do with other people's hair?

Take me for example.
People over here say that women used to look at them and started flirting.

I don't know what was that about. Even when I had no noticeable hair loss I never attracted women so easily when other guys used to do it naturally.
Was I supposed to hate the other males for the attributes I was lacking and they didn't?

 

[superfrankie]

The thing that destroys my soul the most is that I know if I had my hair today I could get girls for without any effort. Just by saying "hi there" or "wazzup". It happened before hair loss but now I have to open up my whole f*****g soul to even have the slightest f*****g 1 % chance. My appearance back then gave my PERSONALITY a chance to show itself.

I know my bad attitude makes it worse, but even though I shine like a f*****g sun everyday I still wont get effortless attention from girls. The pressure too compensate for this sh*t is literally making me crazy.

From now I will become asexual. I dont need girls anyway. Its only a sign of weakness. I am weak for feeling that need.

 

[Boondock]

If I were in your shoes (and I sort of am) I would focus whatever anger you have into carving out your career and/or getting some money together. hair transplants are the only way out of this for many of us. Fact is, girls prefer hair.

 

[toocoolforhair]

When I first started going to night clubs I was one of those men you describe. I'd just walk in there and girls would come to me. In my first year at university I could put anything on and I'd have no problems attracting girls. It was quite amazing really because I didn't consider myself that attractive. My friends used to tell me how lucky I was.

Unfortunately I only really experienced that between the ages of 18-21. At 22 I pretty much had no choice but to start buzzing my hair short. While I still attracted some girls, it was nowhere near the intensity or furiosity of before. I now had to work for their attention, rather than just turn up like I used to.

On the rare occasion I wear a hat (mainly in winter) I get to experience it again, which is why I try to limit my hat-wearing as much as possible. I'm trying to accept my baldness as much as possible, rather than yearn for the alternative life where I have hair.

 

[superfrankie]

If I were in your shoes (and I sort of am) I would focus whatever anger you have into carving out your career and/or getting some money together. hair transplants are the only way out of this for many of us. Fact is, girls prefer hair.

...and the girls that prefer shaved bald guys are from my own experience chubby girls with tatoos owning a bulldog or something like that. At least the probability is big.

 

[bigentries]

...and the girls that prefer shaved bald guys are from my own experience chubby girls with tatoos owning a bulldog or something like that. At least the probability is big.

I wonder what people outside the HairLossTalk.com forums think when they see posts like this...

It's difficult to have some sympathy for you

Basically all your life you were a good looking guy who looked down at uglier people than you. Now you are an ugly guy and still thinking uglier people deserve no respect

 

[Boondock]

Overweight =/= genetically ugly.

 

[Vox]

From now I will become asexual. I dont need girls anyway. Its only a sign of weakness. I am weak for feeling that need.

That could actually be an option depending on how do you see life in general. But men cannot really be(come) asexuals from a physiological point of view because of the prostate.

 

[superfrankie]

Im tired of faking my well being. Everytime I feel good about myself its not cause Ive accepted my hair loss,hell no, its only a strong force of denial that makes me not to think about it too much. Cause eventually I will go back to where I was before. There are tons of scenarios all around me that WILL take me down on earth again, its just a question of time. Scenarios that shows my submissiveness from guys in my age with hair.

I hate to admit I will always fight and uphill battle. Because everything I try to do is much harder now than before. The first impression people have about me, which is only down to looks, is something I dont have control over. And that firts impression, no matter what attitude I have, is hard to chance afterwards. People get suspicious just cause I happen to look very special. The comments and taunts people give me about my looks is only confirming my feelings of being a sub-human.

IM TIRED OF THIS sh*t!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Vox]

People get suspicious just cause I happen to look very special. The comments and taunts people give me about my looks is only confirming my feelings of being a sub-human.

I can understand how you feel but what this excerpt is supposed to mean? Does it affects your daily life? I mean, except women, are there any other tangible consequences?

 

[qball01]

Frankie...I know exactly how you feel...I've had these thoughts before. Then other times I've had a completely different mindset. What you have to realize is that they're just thoughts about a situation...THOUGHTS. They don't necessarily reflect reality. Its a lot more complicated than you're making it out to be. You've just read and believed one too many U-man posts. But at the end of the day....people aren't going to give enough of a damn about you, bald or not...to form any real strong opinion of you until you make them. Stop seeing yourself as a victim! And stop seeing the world as "bald Vs Norwood 1." The MAJORITY of people aren't callous and viscious people who are waiting to make you feel inferior. Have power over your SELF so that when some insecure douchebag makes some dumb little comment, it rolls off your back. You are NOT what other people think of you...and even in that case, just because you have a genetic condition that MANY men will eventually have...it doesn't mean they all think negatively of you. True self-acceptance is really the only way man...if you can't accept yourself, flaws and all...you will be miserable forever.

Look at the thread below this one....G-boy's "life is over thread." Notice how he has very similar thoughts to you about hairloss despite his almost complete lack of hairloss? In fact, I'm sure you prbly find it insulting considering that you are actually bald and he isn't even close...but the point is...it proves that if "hairloss makes me inferior and destroys my social and dating life" is the thought that is in your mind, then it will become true....even in a case where there isn't any hairloss! Stop telling yourself nonsense man! I'm not trying to make out like you won't have some negativity over it...but it doesn't have to pervade your life. I've seen enough posts by you that at least show you know these truths deep down inside...that when you have managed to feel calm and comfortable about yourself...you've gotten good results. You just need to get to a place where you feel that more often....easier said than done though because I'm not sure what it will take to get there yet.

 

[Hoppi]

If it were me.. just ME.. I would either go nuts on some insanely potent regimen and try to salvage hair (depending on how far along it is).. or yeah.. try to look good bald and shave it really close to the skin, or more likely I know it's an unpopular choice but I would just go somewhere like Hair Direct and get a hair piece/system for a bit, until things like Histogen are ready to be used. They look fine. There's this guy on there who has a long hair one and it looks really cool to me.

But yeah, that's just what I think anyway

 

[Obsidian]

Then stop comparing yourself to them and stop looking at hair first (I was there for a bit) and if you can't, you need to seek therapy.

But i'm sure this advice as always will fall on deaf ears. :whistle:

 

[toocoolforhair]

I think you should watch some hair loss comedy e.g. Curb Your Enthusiasm/Seinfeld. It's always good to have a laugh about it sometimes.

 

[s.a.f]

I think you should watch some hair loss comedy e.g. Curb Your Enthusiasm/Seinfeld. It's always good to have a laugh about it sometimes.

Yeah all those NW1's find it hilarious.

 

[bigentries]

Yeah all those NW1's find it hilarious.

Doesn't Larry David just pokes fun at his own baldness?
I could understand people being upset if the writer was an NW1

 

[sadscalp]

I think you should watch some hair loss comedy e.g. Curb Your Enthusiasm/Seinfeld. It's always good to have a laugh about it sometimes.

Yeah all those NW1's find it hilarious.

As a diffuse NW3 I find it hilarious too. Curb is my favorite comedy series.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Your posts resonate with me SF. I can definately relate and share your pain. You are not alone in your struggle.