Hello,
I hope to be taken seriously with this because I really struggle a lot with my situation (and sorry, this is gonna be rather long... at least I have devided it into subsections to guide you to the original questions, at the bottom of this post).
"Really challanged people"
I mean, you see videos of people who lost both legs in a car-addicent or terror attack and a some of them compassioned that they end up somehow climbing the Mount Everest, people who were born crippled painting the most wonderful painting just by their feet or mouth... or mastering the piano with only stubs where most of us have fingers... Insanely deformed-born humans suffering of a variety of things, benchpressing 5x of what I could ever lift... others are completely paralyzed producing awesome books and scientific work.... and so on and so on... I guess we all know those awesome stories which make us bow in respect for those people's dedication and results.
Now my story:
As ridiculously it sounds, compared to the above: Then, I find myself looking in the mirror and say: "Pitty me", I have (far-grown) male-pattern-baldness (NW6, vertex is completely blank in a diameter of 15cm) which I never ever wanted or accepted. When it started in 1999/2000, I went to 4 "specialists" (University professors and specialized dermatologists) to get a prescription for propecia about which I had gathered a lot of information on the web. But although it had been on the German market for over 1 year by that time, 3 of the "experts" hadn't ever heard a word about it, didn't believe me it existed... no.4 had heard of it but refuses to prescribe it to me. Unisono the all told me: "They will NEVER be ANY medical solution that will save just ONE single hair. The ONLY way is to accept, that you'll be bald in some years". Having heard that from a a series of authorities, I started believing they were right and I REALLY TRIED HARD to "accept" my alopecia (w/o medication). It went on very quickly and at the age of 25, I was already Norwood state 5. That caused MANY problems for me literally ANY field of live. I found success stories of Finasteride and minoxidil, but the fight was lost now, I was told at that status given, finasteride/minoxidil would be absolutely hopeless. I developed a severe depression with many years of professional counceling.
I had a consultation for a hair transplant, even taking body hair into account, but even all donor areas taken together were too sparse to harvest enough donor hair for my NW5 vertex. When I couldn't take it any more, I informed myself a lot about toupets, went to local wig stores, had a lot of talks there, left a lot of money there, felt good with my first toupets... as it wasn't affordable from the local stores (I'm a student) I learned how to order online and how to do the complete attachment and so on by myself. Spent 100s of nights, 1000s of hours of trial and error, ending up with "very good" results, i.e. "very good" (looking) for a toupet, but uncomfortable with the routines and lack of freedom.
Things got worse when I had to switch to full caps. But I also mastered that learning curve as well.
At least I'm now able to order and apply full caps looking 100% natural, in any aspect. That is 90-120 minutes of concentrated work for me... Nothing which you are looking forward to day by day.
I've tried (by choosing different tapes, well-known products by which other people get 3 or 4 weeks w/o problems.) to get a maximum wearing time, but I never exceeded 7 days in a row, then everything is a gooey mess, it's horrible.
What really makes me sick (if I'm not sick already)
I have a hard time with my wig. Expose a shaved had is NO option for me. The rest of my life is already "hard enough" and the wig doesn't help having the flexibility/freedom to get your life started again. That should not be a cheap excuse. Throughout my life, I had always been the positive kind, optimistic, active and curious and when there were problems, I was ready to face and solve them. After some incidents over the past years, my reserves of hope and optimism seem to have exhausted.
Apart from the wig, there were serious reasons in my life (career, job, family, injuries, insomnia, health issues, relationships) that led me in a deep double-depression. So, by 36 one (once nationalwide one of the most promising college starters and on my way to become a professor of physics) I find myself
...WHILST I was ACTUALLY always a passionate nature-lover. The people which I like most, are campers, globetrotters, sleeping in the meadow under the stars, bathing in a lake, riding horses, working out outside, running through mud, dancing in the sun, singing in the rain - THAT is the world where I want to belong to (again). But NOT WITHOUT HAIR.
So, to come back to the caption of this post:
I bet there exist 100% happy people out there who DO wear a wig (even a full cap), aren't there? You might attach it for, let's say, 2 weeks - and then FORGET about it. LIVE and BEHAVE like it was there natural hair.
I REALLY NEED THOSE EXAMPLES. And I wanna become like this. The current state is literally killing me.
Maybe videos of top athletes? (Funny enough my nickname is AGAssi... in the end he ditched his toupet)
Or nature-addicts who can be outside weeks w/o a mirror or an official "bath room"?
I want to:
I love nature (especially summer) so much and would wish to live outside like 24/7... currently, with my wig problems, I'm doing the very opposite... Is that "me" any longer? If so, I don't like that "me"
I hope to be taken seriously with this because I really struggle a lot with my situation (and sorry, this is gonna be rather long... at least I have devided it into subsections to guide you to the original questions, at the bottom of this post).
"Really challanged people"
I mean, you see videos of people who lost both legs in a car-addicent or terror attack and a some of them compassioned that they end up somehow climbing the Mount Everest, people who were born crippled painting the most wonderful painting just by their feet or mouth... or mastering the piano with only stubs where most of us have fingers... Insanely deformed-born humans suffering of a variety of things, benchpressing 5x of what I could ever lift... others are completely paralyzed producing awesome books and scientific work.... and so on and so on... I guess we all know those awesome stories which make us bow in respect for those people's dedication and results.
Now my story:
As ridiculously it sounds, compared to the above: Then, I find myself looking in the mirror and say: "Pitty me", I have (far-grown) male-pattern-baldness (NW6, vertex is completely blank in a diameter of 15cm) which I never ever wanted or accepted. When it started in 1999/2000, I went to 4 "specialists" (University professors and specialized dermatologists) to get a prescription for propecia about which I had gathered a lot of information on the web. But although it had been on the German market for over 1 year by that time, 3 of the "experts" hadn't ever heard a word about it, didn't believe me it existed... no.4 had heard of it but refuses to prescribe it to me. Unisono the all told me: "They will NEVER be ANY medical solution that will save just ONE single hair. The ONLY way is to accept, that you'll be bald in some years". Having heard that from a a series of authorities, I started believing they were right and I REALLY TRIED HARD to "accept" my alopecia (w/o medication). It went on very quickly and at the age of 25, I was already Norwood state 5. That caused MANY problems for me literally ANY field of live. I found success stories of Finasteride and minoxidil, but the fight was lost now, I was told at that status given, finasteride/minoxidil would be absolutely hopeless. I developed a severe depression with many years of professional counceling.
I had a consultation for a hair transplant, even taking body hair into account, but even all donor areas taken together were too sparse to harvest enough donor hair for my NW5 vertex. When I couldn't take it any more, I informed myself a lot about toupets, went to local wig stores, had a lot of talks there, left a lot of money there, felt good with my first toupets... as it wasn't affordable from the local stores (I'm a student) I learned how to order online and how to do the complete attachment and so on by myself. Spent 100s of nights, 1000s of hours of trial and error, ending up with "very good" results, i.e. "very good" (looking) for a toupet, but uncomfortable with the routines and lack of freedom.
Things got worse when I had to switch to full caps. But I also mastered that learning curve as well.
At least I'm now able to order and apply full caps looking 100% natural, in any aspect. That is 90-120 minutes of concentrated work for me... Nothing which you are looking forward to day by day.
I've tried (by choosing different tapes, well-known products by which other people get 3 or 4 weeks w/o problems.) to get a maximum wearing time, but I never exceeded 7 days in a row, then everything is a gooey mess, it's horrible.
What really makes me sick (if I'm not sick already)
I have a hard time with my wig. Expose a shaved had is NO option for me. The rest of my life is already "hard enough" and the wig doesn't help having the flexibility/freedom to get your life started again. That should not be a cheap excuse. Throughout my life, I had always been the positive kind, optimistic, active and curious and when there were problems, I was ready to face and solve them. After some incidents over the past years, my reserves of hope and optimism seem to have exhausted.
Apart from the wig, there were serious reasons in my life (career, job, family, injuries, insomnia, health issues, relationships) that led me in a deep double-depression. So, by 36 one (once nationalwide one of the most promising college starters and on my way to become a professor of physics) I find myself
- in deep double-depression
- moneyless (part time job that earns me 400 bugs)
- 5 of 7 days over-tired but completely sleepless (subsequent days unable to work)
- in worst physical shape ever (was sporty once), feeling weak like a 100-year-old, happy for everday I don't fall ill
- become a socio-phobic because (a) my life is meaningless the way I live it and (b) always in fear of being busted (and stigmatised) for my wig.
...WHILST I was ACTUALLY always a passionate nature-lover. The people which I like most, are campers, globetrotters, sleeping in the meadow under the stars, bathing in a lake, riding horses, working out outside, running through mud, dancing in the sun, singing in the rain - THAT is the world where I want to belong to (again). But NOT WITHOUT HAIR.
So, to come back to the caption of this post:
I bet there exist 100% happy people out there who DO wear a wig (even a full cap), aren't there? You might attach it for, let's say, 2 weeks - and then FORGET about it. LIVE and BEHAVE like it was there natural hair.
I REALLY NEED THOSE EXAMPLES. And I wanna become like this. The current state is literally killing me.
Maybe videos of top athletes? (Funny enough my nickname is AGAssi... in the end he ditched his toupet)
Or nature-addicts who can be outside weeks w/o a mirror or an official "bath room"?
I want to:
- work out daily, sweating, doing cardio
- enjoy a daily shower afterwards, feeling clean afterwards
- going into the wild for weeks, playing on the beach, bathing in a lake
- sleeping outside w/o an arsenal of wig-care products
- being spontaneous!
- get related with women again (I look rather attractive with my wig and get compliments, but there's always the fear of getting busted - and stigmatised b/c ppl cannot imagine the reason why one "has" to wear it)
I love nature (especially summer) so much and would wish to live outside like 24/7... currently, with my wig problems, I'm doing the very opposite... Is that "me" any longer? If so, I don't like that "me"
