Maybe self love is the key? What are your thoughts?

[Feelsbadman]

I hate myself i hate my looks my height my appearance and a tonne of other things. I've always been so self critical. This and low self esteem has always been part of my life. I used to scoff at people "you just got to love yourself" . I HATED hearing that sh*t. Tell an ugly male to just "love himself" and its supposd to make him feel ok being lonely and without women?
But as i've matured i realised something. You got to be kind to yourself. Due to my mind set i had a relationship with a women who also hated herself. She would sleep with any man just to feel good about herself SHe was total trash. But we were together because I was like that. Tthrough this process i realised something -
I might be without women. And i might be ugly and balding. But i got to have self respect. You got to be friends with myself. I wouldn't say i have self love.But i realise now. You got to be friends with yourself. Once you realise this you don't need anyone else.

Maybe this is all just cope. But with this mind set. i don't feel lonely anymore. Things are ok.

I no longer need anyone else. I have myself. Myself has arrived.

 

[Caillou]

You can't love yourself for simply existing, that's just bullshit. You have to love yourself for a reason. For some that reason is their looks, for some it's their intelligence, some their wealth or power, and for some it's their accomplishments and what they have contributed to the world


You have to accomplish something that you're proud of and then focus on it. Once that's done, you can begin the process of loving yourself and rebuilding your self-esteem. The thing you have to accomplish doesn't have to be grand, it can be as small as feeding stray animals or donating for orphans. But you have to do something that leaves a positive impact on the world, and trust me it will make you feel much better about yourself

 

[Feelsbadman]

You can't love yourself for simply existing, that's just bullshit. You have to love yourself for a reason. For some that reason is their looks, for some it's their intelligence, some their wealth or power, and for some it's their accomplishments and what they have contributed to the world


You have to accomplish something that you're proud of and then focus on it. Once that's done, you can begin the process of loving yourself and rebuilding your self-esteem. The thing you have to accomplish doesn't have to be grand, it can be as small as feeding stray animals or donating for orphans. But you have to do something that leaves a positive impact on the world, and trust me it will make you feel much better about yourself

but that doesnt make sense bcause if you lose those things then u wont love urself anymore? so therefore ur value and self is attached to other things ?

 

[Caillou]

but that doesnt make sense bcause if you lose those things then u wont love urself anymore? so therefore ur value and self is attached to other things ?

They're all parts of you, and that's how loving things works in the first place. For example, if you said that you love a certain person, someone would always ask why, right? Because you can't just love someone or something for no reason at all, and the same pretty much apply to loving yourself as well. Love is earned, not given except for parental love because it's instinctual and necessary, and that's why it's always been considered the highest form of love. But normal love - whether loving yourself or anything else - requires a reason. But yeah if your love stemmed from good deeds, it'd be more valuable than say, if it stemmed from your looks. Because your good deeds can't really be lost unlike your looks and they define you as a person more than your looks - regardless of the halo effect


Ask yourself this; Would it make sense if a pedophile, or a serial killer, or a rapist loved themselves for existing or someone else loved them? It would be weird since they all have reasons to trigger nothing but hate and loathing from themselves and everyone else for being worthless scum

 

[royce gracie]

You have to love yourself to the extent that you give yourself the best possible shot. That means not tearing yourself down constantly for every perceived flaw and failure. As you've discovered, being incredibly introspectively hyper-critical is paralyzing. If you don't at least believe in yourself you don't stand a f*****g chance m8.

It's normal and healthy to want more than you have and to occasionally be disappointed in yourself when you fail. But you have to be able to pick yourself back up and try again. You have to believe that you are worthwhile, independent of external validation. If you can't do that you are going to let everyone else dictate how you feel and what you think you can do. And you will fall for these bullshit blackpill ideologies cooked up by insane people who get their kicks convincing other people to feel miserable.

As the inhabitant of your own conscious experience, you have a duty to give yourself more credit than other people. Don't create a hell for yourself with this negative self talk, even if you think it's well founded. It won't get you anywhere. Sorry if that's a little esoteric. The idea that you can plow through your negative feelings while not giving yourself a break is bullshit I think. The basic will and confidence to improve has to come from within. You should indeed love yourself.

 

[Oknow]

I hate myself i hate my looks my height my appearance and a tonne of other things. I've always been so self critical. This and low self esteem has always been part of my life. I used to scoff at people "you just got to love yourself" . I HATED hearing that sh*t. Tell an ugly male to just "love himself" and its supposd to make him feel ok being lonely and without women?
But as i've matured i realised something. You got to be kind to yourself. Due to my mind set i had a relationship with a women who also hated herself. She would sleep with any man just to feel good about herself SHe was total trash. But we were together because I was like that. Tthrough this process i realised something -
I might be without women. And i might be ugly and balding. But i got to have self respect. You got to be friends with myself. I wouldn't say i have self love.But i realise now. You got to be friends with yourself. Once you realise this you don't need anyone else.

Maybe this is all just cope. But with this mind set. i don't feel lonely anymore. Things are ok.

I no longer need anyone else. I have myself. Myself has arrived.

thank f***

finally seeing the light