Captain Obvious
Established Member
- Reaction score
- 4
Sometimes my life feels like a dream. I pass hundereds of people every day and I watch them interract and I don't feel like I'm a part of it. I walk down busy streets and I see guys flirting with girls, friends meeting to hang out, parents tending to children and just generally people out living life. But I feel so different. I don't feel like anybody can see me. My smiles aren't returned like they used to be, if at all. My small talk with people never leaves the realm of just that, small talk. And then when I eventually go home it's just silence until sleep. Then when it comes time to drag myself out of bed and look in the mirror I remember why the rest of the day I'm going to pass through unnoticed and forgotten. Hell I can hardly recognize myself anymore.
It's all because there is nothing framing my face. Not only does it make me feel weird but it makes me look weird. WEIRD! It makes me look depressed and even a bit sickly even when I feel pretty darn good. My outside is no longer a reflection of my inside. My physical reality is stuck because my physical appearance is stuck. I used to notice that however I wore my hair that is how people would treat me. And now I guess since I have no hair to wear people will just stop treating me all together? I've become a ghost along with my hair.
So how can I wake up from this dream-like state? I don't get it. Am I supposed to run around screaming and laughing with my hands flying in the air to get some attention? Should I just continuously approach random strangers like my bald grandfather does? He seems to annoy people pretty good with his begging for attention via joke and story telling? This is just not who I am but then again it's exactly who I am!
It's all just so f*****g weird.....
It's all because there is nothing framing my face. Not only does it make me feel weird but it makes me look weird. WEIRD! It makes me look depressed and even a bit sickly even when I feel pretty darn good. My outside is no longer a reflection of my inside. My physical reality is stuck because my physical appearance is stuck. I used to notice that however I wore my hair that is how people would treat me. And now I guess since I have no hair to wear people will just stop treating me all together? I've become a ghost along with my hair.
So how can I wake up from this dream-like state? I don't get it. Am I supposed to run around screaming and laughing with my hands flying in the air to get some attention? Should I just continuously approach random strangers like my bald grandfather does? He seems to annoy people pretty good with his begging for attention via joke and story telling? This is just not who I am but then again it's exactly who I am!
It's all just so f*****g weird.....