Is shaving it all really that bad?

[Charles1728]

Okay guys, let's talk about the subject everyone on this site seems to want to avoid - shaving it. Is it really as bad as some people on this site make it out to be? I don't think so.

Now, before I start, let me give myself some legitimacy. I'm not a bald guy trying to make himself feel better or project 'positivity' into you guys. I'm a young kid with an NW2 that's quickly bidding me farewell. I haven't started a regimen yet, but I will soon. I'm thinking proscar and 2% Kirkland minoxidil. But that's the farthest I'll go.

I don't want to go bald, but, unfortunately, it's happening. I'm giving it a couple more years, fighting it for as long as I can, and then, once I get to NW3 or 3.5, I'm shaving it all off. Some of you on this site really just need to take a step back. Being bald does not instantly ostracize you from society or preclude you from living a happy, successful life. That's bull****. C'mon. 2/3 of men suffer from male pattern baldness - it's not like you're alone. There is so much more to life and attractiveness than hair. I'm not gonna lie, being bald will make you less attractive - at first. But once you get used to it and learn how to best accentuate your other features to make up for it, you'll be fine. I think a lot of us here on this site fear being bald because such a small amount of male idols and celebrities are bald, but that's not a telling story. Hollywood is a land of vanity and perfection. Our faces don't look like movie stars', neither do our arms or chests - why do we think our hair should? Of course girls aren't going to obsess over guys with no hair - just like guys don't obsess over girls with small boobs. But would you still marry a girl with small boobs? Or at least have sex with her? If she had plenty of other attractive features, I would. Life isn't like the movies. People aren't perfect. Accept that, make yourself the best you you can be, and go forward with your chin held high.

I saw at least three bald men at the gym today, all appeared happy, healthy and fulfilled. Hair doesn't define attractiveness. Go to the gym. Get a tan. Read a book. Make some money. Life will be okay.

Fight it while you can, but don't sacrifice your health for it. Shave it and move on. You'll be okay, trust me.

 

[luis_scofield]

If you can hold on to what is left, depending on your norwood scale then i wouldnt shave. I mean, i dont see how a norwood 1 or 2 should shave while having a pretty good amount of hair, and you can easily hide your hairline at those scales.

However once you get past 3 yeah i think shave if you feel like you lost the game.

 

[himynameisj]

Depends on how your face looks. If you are feminine looking, you will look much worse without hair. If you are masculine looking, you will look similar or much better if you are lucky.

 

[Illu2ion]

Paging Fred.

But seriously, you're a NW2 right now. It doesn't surprise me that at this moment you're thinking "what's the big deal?"

Unless you're very good looking, you'll see how much it matters when you get to the point you have to start shaving it off (around NW3+).

 

[8_ball]

You don't lost your life but you lost part of your appearance and personality. It's not worth to be depressed but you know that is there.
One of my colleagues is a funny guy, he goes to the gym and he seems to be always happy. He is known by everybody by "the bald guy". One day we were talking and he said to me that he was saving money for a hair transplant because he doesn't like to be bald, also that one of the reasons he goes to the gym is because he doesn't want to look like a sick person.

Also everybody gives to you this advice: go to the gym and get a tan. I think that people expect all bald men to be muscular and taned.

 

[Charles1728]

That's rough man. I think the support of people around you can really help or hurt your confidence and happiness. Sounds like you had a bad experience. Hopefully thins got better. You brought up a good point though. Facial hair is definitely a good way to draw attention away from your hair and it should be experimented with.

 

[SayifDoit]

Of course this is your opinion you aren't even really considered to be balding yet. You have to understand how silly it is to start spouting nonsense about what it's like being bald when you yourself suffer from no real baldness. Why don't you come back later when you're a NW5 and make a thread like this.
Starting a thread like this is no real surprise, many people have come here again and again spouting the same nonsense with no real knowledge, delusional and absurd ideas. Seen a million threads like this. Boring.

 

[Charles1728]

Of course this is your opinion you aren't even really considered to be balding yet. You have to understand how silly it is to start spouting nonsense about what it's like being bald when you yourself suffer from no real baldness. Why don't you come back later when you're a NW5 and make a thread like this.
Starting a thread like this is no real surprise, many people have come here again and again spouting the same nonsense with no real knowledge, delusional and absurd ideas. Seen a million threads like this. Boring.

And I've seen a million replies like this. Not exactly boring, but frustrating. Imagine one of your friends just went through a bad breakup. You try to assure him that life goes on and he will be okay, even though you have never been through a similar breakup. Is that justifiable? Of course. There is a little thing called imagination. I understand how it will be to be bald. And how are these ideas delusional or absurd? The only thing that's absurd is the pessimistic bull**** you're spouting. No real knowledge? I see probably at least 3-4 bald guys at the gym every day, most look normal to me. I only even really think about the fact that they're bald because I have hair loss issues. Three of my five best friends have totally bald dads, two of them have been bald since their twenties. Both live just as high a standard of life as any other dads I know in their general socioeconomic class. The idea that one can't lead a fulfilling, satisfied life while bald is absurd. 2/3 of men will suffer from male pattern baldness or hair loss. A large portion of them will decide to shave it. There are plenty of bald men in the world; you are not some anomaly or freak who will be ostracized from society. Yes, some women aren't attracted to bald guys, and you will have to abandon pursuit of such women. But some can overlook it, and some don't give a rat's ***. There are billions of women in the world. I'm sure you'll still be able to find one to your liking (but not if you mope around and wallow in self-pity).

Losing a limb, losing a sense -- those are things that can really alter your quality of life. Losing your hair (on your head only), not so much.

I get that it is easier said than done, and staring it in the face will be tougher than just typing it on a forum, but my ideas won't change. If my options are either shave it or swallow tons of pills everyday for the rest of my life I'm going to keep my health and lose my hair. Sorry if you don't feel the same, I hope things turn out for you.

And I'm sick of the pessimistic criticism and attacking of optimists. I don't want to be bald, but I'm trying to see the positives in it, which are real and many. Why does that make me such a target? Get over it people, we're all in this journey together. I'm just trying to make it a little more bearable. Sorry?

 

[Notcoolanymore]

Okay guys, let's talk about the subject everyone on this site seems to want to avoid - shaving it. Is it really as bad as some people on this site make it out to be? I don't think so.

Of course it is. If not then why would you even start taking drugs to treat it? Why would you choose to take drugs for something that isn't a big deal? I am what many around here would consider as being "pro finasteride" guy, but even I realize that taking a prescription drug opens myself up for adverse reactions to it. I take it because to me balding is a big deal. Saying that balding or shaving isn't a big deal when you haven't really experienced either is ridiculous. It is like me saying banging nothing but perfect 10's gets boring after a while.

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I just saw your pics from the other thread you made and you really have no business talking about balding or shaving. I am not trying to be rude. I know you are only here trying to help, but what you have going on with your hair is far from being bald. The closest you could get to being bald is to shave your head with a razor(not buzzcut) and see if you still think it isn't that bad.

 

[I.D WALKER]

Saying that balding or shaving isn't a big deal when you haven't really experienced either is ridiculous. It is like me saying banging nothing but perfect 10's gets boring after a while.

Now that there s a gem of a quote if I ever saw one.

 

[Charles1728]

This again? Well, I've been repeating this for the 1000th time now: losing your hair is worse than losing a limb, studies have shown.

In short, disfigurement, or loss of identity is worse than losing a limb. And when you stop and think about it, this is common sense really.

Burn victims have way worse than people who just lost an arm or a leg. Yes I'm comparing burn victims to hair loss sufferers.

Hair loss is disfigurement and loss of identity. You don't see yourself in the mirror, you're seeing an uglier, balder, stranger.

So your argument here is simply wrong. We've established that losing your identity is worse than losing an arm. Now what?

When you choose to shave your head, you're not Charles anymore, you just become another generic bald guy.

Have you ever been in social situations where you see 3 bald guys in the same group? They look like they've been produced in the same factory.

So, are you ready to lose your identity and to be lumped with all the other bald men that "just shaved it all off bro"?


This doesn't apply to hair loss, it gets worse, and worse, and worse. Imagine a problem where there is no actual solution. That's something worth despairing and developing major depression.

But a breakup? Losing your job? Financial debt? Hell even becoming homeless? I would take all of them combined if that means I could get a thick NW1 back. And yes I absolutely mean it!

You'll see when you become bald yourself. Yes of course you knew I would end this post that way!



He says under the safety of his NW2. No, you get over the fact that you're not bald and not fit to give us that kind of advice.

You're not the first one who have tried to pull this delusional rant about how we're morons for caring about hair loss and how he will be different when he becomes bald.

You have no idea how it's like, but trust me, you're on this forum, so you will feel the impact of baldness full-force when you get there. I know you won't come back to say you were wrong though.

I understand and respect that you have personal experience in this issue, and I don't, but still, I respectfully disagree. I think that losing your hair only equals losing your identity if you let it. I personally don't think all bald guys look like they were produced in the same factory. They look similar, yes, just like all the kids on my soccer team looked similar: white, spiky brown hair, about 5'11" and skinny-ish. But that doesn't mean none of us had our own identity. Losing a limb significantly alters life in blatant ways: inability to walk (potentially); inability to eat/drink alone; inability to tie shoes, ties, anything else; and all the stigma that comes attached to being a "cripple" -- which is way worse than stigma attached to being bald.

Just as I can't personally comment on being bald, neither can you personally comment on losing a limb. I'm sure were you ever faced with it in reality, you would feel much differently. If hair is the sole factor of one's identity, getting a simple haircut would significantly alter who they are, and that's bull****. And shaving it is technically a solution. If you shave it, you're done. It won't get worse and worse; it's over.

Honestly, I'm not trying to make it personal or anything. I sympathize with you, Fred. We're both walking the same path, you're just farther down the road than I am. I just think if you let it go you'll feel a lot better. You are still who you are. The hair doesn't make the man. I don't think you will be a "generic bald guy" to anyone who actually knows you unless you choose to be, just like I'm not a "generic white college student."

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Damn fullheads giving us arrogant advice and thinking they're better than us. I'm getting sick of this trend. Live it for yourself for god sake, then you can talk!

C'mon man. I don't think I'm better than you at all. And I wouldn't consider myself a "fullhead" lol, but I get the point. I'm not trying to be arrogant or condescending. I've given this topic a lot of thought because it's likely what's in my future and I'm jus trying to share what I came up with. My personal thoughts. Not trying to offend you or anybody else.

And back to your generic bald guy point, there is always facial hair to experiment with. Look at my profile picture. Does he look like a beta-male to you? I don't think so. I think he looks happy, unique, and fulfilled.

Everyone has issues in life. All you can do is make the best of it. It is what it is, don't let it destroy you. Don't be melodromatic. I'm rootin' for ya, Fred.

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Of course it is. If not then why would you even start taking drugs to treat it? Why would you choose to take drugs for something that isn't a big deal? I am what many around here would consider as being "pro finasteride" guy, but even I realize that taking a prescription drug opens myself up for adverse reactions to it. I take it because to me balding is a big deal. Saying that balding or shaving isn't a big deal when you haven't really experienced either is ridiculous. It is like me saying banging nothing but perfect 10's gets boring after a while.

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I just saw your pics from the other thread you made and you really have no business talking about balding or shaving. I am not trying to be rude. I know you are only here trying to help, but what you have going on with your hair is far from being bald. The closest you could get to being bald is to shave your head with a razor(not buzzcut) and see if you still think it isn't that bad.

I understand what you guys are saying. True, I can never totally say what it is like to be bald unless I've been there, which I haven't, but I still think I some of you are over the top about it, that's all.

And I absolutely, positively NEVER said it wasn't a big deal (I want to stress this). Having hair will always be preferable to not having hair, any sane person will admit that. Just like being 6'5" is preferable to being 5'10". I'm 5'10". The point is there are always obstacle in life and we just have to overcome them. Being bald is a tough one, but it could truly be a whole lot worse. I'm (considering) taking drugs to treat it because I don't want to be bald, and if I said anything to make you think I did then sorry I misled you. I just plan to accept it when it comes and move on. It's as bad as you let it be. Again, I'll refer you to my prof pic. He is bald and in charge.

By the way, if you saw my other thread would you mind leaving some thoughts? I'm really trying to get some honest feedback. Thanks and good luck.

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Of course it is. If not then why would you even start taking drugs to treat it? Why would you choose to take drugs for something that isn't a big deal? I am what many around here would consider as being "pro finasteride" guy, but even I realize that taking a prescription drug opens myself up for adverse reactions to it. I take it because to me balding is a big deal. Saying that balding or shaving isn't a big deal when you haven't really experienced either is ridiculous. It is like me saying banging nothing but perfect 10's gets boring after a while.

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I just saw your pics from the other thread you made and you really have no business talking about balding or shaving. I am not trying to be rude. I know you are only here trying to help, but what you have going on with your hair is far from being bald. The closest you could get to being bald is to shave your head with a razor(not buzzcut) and see if you still think it isn't that bad.

And age also comes into play. Obviously it would look bad for me to shave my hair now -- who's bald at 18? But once you get into your mid to late 20s, it becomes more normal and accepted, and doesn't look that bad, if you know how to handle it.

If you're younger than 24 and totally bald, then I see where the absolute despair is coming from. Above 24, it's rough I know, but you're not alone. Do you know what I mean? I'm not trying to be rude either. I want to sympathize with you.

 

[PappinAce]

Thanks for the post, Charles. It's nice to see that you have the right attitude to deal with balding, and hopefully you will keep that mindset if / when it happens to you.

PS: I read your posts in the voice of Tim Howard

The hair doesn't make the man. I don't think you will be a "generic bald guy" to anyone who actually knows you unless you choose to be, just like I'm not a "generic white college student."

This pretty much sums it up. Anyone who knows you will know you for your personality. Sure, strangers will describe you as "the bald guy standing over there", but who cares? Right now they describe me as "the guy in the white shirt standing over there" which isn't really different. They don't know me or anything I've accomplished. Should I be insulted because I'm just another generic dude wearing a white shirt? If you reduce yourself only to your hair and can't be happy without it, your life will be sad anyway.

Keep in mind this is coming from a 27 year old suffering from rapid hair loss. It's bothering me a lot too, and I realize this is all easier said than done! When you've had something for over 20 years that makes you attractive, and suddenly it's gone, it is most definitely difficult to deal with. Some days it's hard to keep fighting knowing I'll be bald. But everyone DOES deal with it, just like they deal with the death of a loved one. That loss will always be there, but you will still be able to live a happy life. Otherwise, everyone who goes bald would immediately stop trying, stop going to work, become homeless, and kill themselves.

 

[Charles1728]

Thanks for the post, Charles. It's nice to see that you have the right attitude to deal with balding, and hopefully you will keep that mindset if / when it happens to you.

PS: I read your posts in the voice of Tim Howard



This pretty much sums it up. Anyone who knows you will know you for your personality. Sure, strangers will describe you as "the bald guy standing over there", but who cares? Right now they describe me as "the guy in the white shirt standing over there" which isn't really different. They don't know me or anything I've accomplished. Should I be insulted because I'm just another generic dude wearing a white shirt? If you reduce yourself only to your hair and can't be happy without it, your life will be sad anyway.

Keep in mind this is coming from a 27 year old suffering from rapid hair loss. It's bothering me a lot too, and I realize this is all easier said than done! When you've had something for over 20 years that makes you attractive, and suddenly it's gone, it is most definitely difficult to deal with. Some days it's hard to keep fighting knowing I'll be bald. But everyone DOES deal with it, just like they deal with the death of a loved one. That loss will always be there, but you will still be able to live a happy life. Otherwise, everyone who goes bald would immediately stop trying, stop going to work, become homeless, and kill themselves.

Exactly. Totally agree. It sucks, but it's not the end of the world or of your chances of happiness.

And it's frustrating to be referred to as a pessimistic simpleton who has no idea what he's talking about when you're rapidly losing hair and know what you'll be facing soon, don't you think? Yes, we're not bald, but that doesn't mean we have any reason to be overly optimistic about it, because we're quickly heading that way.

And haha, Tim Howard is my bald idol

Good luck!

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Trust me, I've been in your shoes, we've all been. It will be the most traumatizing experience of your life.

I'm not here to sugarcoat reality. I tell it as it is. You won't "own" your baldness.

The day you registered on this forum, you were already screwed.

Bald men who don't care never cared, and they certainly never registered on a hair loss forum.

Most traumatizing experience of your life? Really? That can't be true, unless you've had a pretty pampered life.

And the hair loss forum thing is a good point. I care, and I will care. I've never said it won't bother me. I just don't think it will be as bad as you make it seem. Acne bothers me too, I look for things online to try to fix my acne. But I live with it.

And by the way, Fred, would you mind checking out my other forum and letting me know what you think? Let's be friends here.

 

[Agustin Araujo]

One thing that I absolutely cannot stand are people like the OP who come on here saying that hair loss really isn't a big deal, but yet they felt the conscious to join a hair loss forum with minimal/no hair loss. How pathetic.

 

[Charles1728]

you reduce yourself only to your hair and can't be happy without it, your life will be sad anyway.

Nice quote, I agree.

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One thing that I absolutely cannot stand are people like the OP who come on here saying that hair loss really isn't a big deal, but yet they felt the conscious to join a hair loss forum with minimal/no hair loss. How pathetic.

Seriously? One thing I absolutely cannot stand is people taking personal shots at me for offering my opinion. I asbsolutely NEVER said it wasn't a big deal. I'm self-conscious about my hair, yes, that's why I'm on my site. I wouldn't enjoy losing it all.

The only claim I've ever made is that it isn't AS bad as some people here make it seem. I've seen more than one thread comparing being bald to "already being dead", or saying that life isn't worth living without hair. Just on this thread it was called "the most traumatizing thing" that would happen to me. I simply don't agree. It is a big deal. Losing your hair hurts. But things can be worse, that's all I'm saying. If you're simply here to comment on the patheticness of other users who are trying to lift the spirit of others a little then I think you need to do some re-evaluating

 

[Yoshi3Mario]

Let's just say the way people treat me at work since I've shaved my head has been night and day. A turn for the worse. Now I keep it buzzed short and that seems to make a huge difference with how I'm treated.

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It's just obvious that I have Lost hair that way which sucks cause shaving is a good way to hide it.

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I'm liking the number 1 through number 3 look. My hair was almost at a number 4 and I buzzed it down to a number 1 again

 

[Charles1728]

This was exactly my experience. With my head buzzed, especially now that I have some coverage and a hair line thanks to my hair transplant, makes a world of a difference in the way I'm treated.

When I shaved it all off, people were looking at me like they lost a relative or something. Kind of a "poor guy" look. And of course I had to take the "Are you sick? Do you have cancer?!" comments.

Would you mind uploading or linking me to a pic of your hair now? I really don't want to argue -- we just have different viewpoints. Granted, mine is based on less experience, bit I'd like to see where you're coming from.

And no reason to be douchey about it, really. Like I've said, we're in this together; we should support each other, if anything. And the talk of me thinking I'm better than you because you "care about your hair" is nonsense. Read my posts. If I didn't care about my hair I wouldn't be here.

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Let's just say the way people treat me at work since I've shaved my head has been night and day. A turn for the worse. Now I keep it buzzed short and that seems to make a huge difference with how I'm treated.

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It's just obvious that I have Lost hair that way which sucks cause shaving is a good way to hide it.

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I'm liking the number 1 through number 3 look. My hair was almost at a number 4 and I buzzed it down to a number 1 again

I understand. People, I'm just looking for opinions here, not to be attacked. I offered my viewpoints and would be glad to hear conflicting views, especially from those with experience. I'm not meaning to offend anybody, so let's just take it down a level - from personal argument to heated discussion.

That said, I appreciate your comments. I think it's definitely best to go for the buzzed over the shaved while you can. Have you ever experimented with facial hair at all?

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Never mind, Fred. Saw it on your profile. You look good.

 

[EvilLocks]

Are you kidding me? Are you fvcking kidding me?
I did a little research and it turns out you have no hair loss at all, a ridiculously full head of hair.
And you dare to downplay the impact of baldness???
You have not lived baldness, not even a single day, unlike some of us who has lived this nightmare for years.
If you are actually going bald, which I doubt you are, I challenge you to come back when you are actually bald.
When you live what we had to go through first hand, then you'll understand.
You'll understand what nightmare this is, and that no, there's not much worse than baldness.
It will alter your personality as well as your looks, your very core, and make you a miserable being of a social outcast.
THEN you will see what it's truly like, and that what you said is utter bullsh*t.

 

[EvilLocks]

Of course it is different for me as a female, especially since I'm pretty much alone in this as the vast majority of women get to keep their hair. But still it doesn't make baldness less hard for a man. I can understand completely why some sink into deep depression, because losing your hair really IS losing a part of your identity, and a very important part of it too. This society is largely built on looks, so when you lose it of course your life is going to change for the worse.

 

[TransientHair]

I looked through your pictures, and I remember that when I had hair similar to yours that I held the same viewpoint. Trust me though that will change. As your hair line continues to recede, so will your view that baldness isn't a big deal.