I’m crying in my soup.

G

Guest

Guest
Because my girlfriend of 4 hours has just dumped me because of hair loss.

This was the first girlfriend I’ve had in 5 years and it only lasted 4 hours.

I can’t believe my luck.

I met her when I went to a night club last night. She saw me with my beanie hat on, jigging on the dance floor. I asked her out and to my surprise, she said yes.

At this stage, my hair loss was hidden - obviously by the beanie.

Hair loss was the furthest thing from my mind at this point, and it felt great.

The first 3 hours went perfectly; she was good looking and I looked good with my beanie hat - hiding my hair loss.

Well, at about 3 hours 45 minutes into our relationship it then started to go slightly pear shaped, because she asked me to take my beanie off.

When she said this I got embarrassed and tried to change the subject.

'I thought she accepted me with my hat on' I quietly muttered to myself.

I was wrong.

She kept pursuing it and nagging me for a whole 8 minutes to take my hat off.

I felt like a rotten egg.

I couldn’t believe it. It was this early into our relationship and she already wanted me to take the next step. She was robbing me of the chance to wear my hat for a few more hours.

I just started to furiously shout at the ground “Damn it! Why me!â€.

At this stage I turned on her TV, only to hear the song "You can keep your hat on†by Tom Jones, play out.

Once again, I started shouting at the ground again “Damn it! Why me!â€.

I just wanted to leave and go home ASAP, so I could enter HairlossTalk.com.

Hair loss has driven me to the point where I wear my hat all the time.

She then started to quiz me more, as to why I am so reluctant to remove my beanie hat. This made me go red in the cheeks.

Not my face cheeks, unfortunately.

But my bum cheeks, which were now on display due to me pulling down my trousers in a last ditch effort to deflect the attention from my hair loss.

It revealed a tattooed Norwood scale I had imprinted on my ***.

"Knackers!" I furiously shouted.

I thought that pulling down my trousers was a good idea because she might of thought I wanted to sex her up - like a hair loss sufferer would.

Or even have sexty fun with her.

However, this didn’t work, so I pulled my Rogaine dungarees back up.

"Stop putting me under unnecessary pressure!" I shouted in her direction.

At about 3 hours 50 minutes into our relationship, her mate knocked at her door (As I was still round her house) The first thing she said when she entered the house was, “"Hello - why don’t you take off that silly hat".

In my mind, I just frantically fell to my knees shouting "nOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOwood!".

But only in my mind because I had to stay strong.

I was stuck for words, so I said the first thing that came into my mind which sounded something like "I am not a Norwood 3Vc+ with a cherry on top!!" which predictably drew weird looks from my girlfriend of 3 hours 52 minutes.

I felt a total idiot.

I couldn’t believe I said that; I was so embarrassed of my hair loss at this stage.

So I did it. I pulled off my hat, confidently.

This was met with a gasp from my girlfriend, who automatically shouted “I have to go!â€.

I then pointed my Norwood, North, acting as a makeshift compass

"That way's north!" I frantically yelled, whilst furiously dabbing Rogaine onto my assline.

Her friend was laughing her head off, as my matted down hair made me look like an uglier version of Gollum.

I looked a complete spud face.

My big 'Norwood scale V' expression face almost poked her eyes out, as I turned in her direction.

I then plummeted to the floor in shock, and desperately shouted in her direction “What do I take, Duprost, Dutas or Avodart?!†In the hope I would finally get an answer to this unanswered question.

Things then went from bad to worse, because as soon as I displayed my Norwood 3v in her direction, it became a race as to who was going to dump who first.

That’s when I picked myself up off the floor and ran out the house shouting "You’re dumped! ha ha ha!" whilst laughing confidently.

I felt quite proud of gaining confidence when I ran out of her house without my beanie on. Because I have never left my house without my beanie before. I was taking a first step to leaving my house without my beanie.

All of a sudden, my best hair loss flat mate, Boris, jumped out from the bushes dressed in his favourite diaper. We just looked each other in the eye and simultaneously shouted "We're the Norwood twins, and we love each other"

Before giving each other high 5's and jigging our hearts out.

Our hairy Norwood patterned legs were bending in the air whilst we grooved, waving our DermMatch manuals above our heads.

Sadly, my jubilation didn’t last for long.

Because I am now typing this message at my computer, as tears fall from my face and land in my bean sprout soup.

My relationship lasted just under 4 hours.

My hair loss is stopping me from getting married.

I feel useless.

Hair loss has done it to me again.
 

Sir_LagaLot

Established Member
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norwood scale tattoo on the ***...as a diversion from your hairloss..!!

*Cracks up :lol: :D
 

everysixseconds

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thats the first "Gunner Classic" i read!!

its Gold!
 

misterium

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Gunner said:
Because my girlfriend of 4 hours has just dumped me because of hair loss.

Hah hah.

You suck.
 

The Rock

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Gunner wrote:
Because my girlfriend of 4 hours has just dumped me because of hair loss.



Hah hah.

You suck.



HAHAHAHAAH thats hilarious, thats better than any gunner story i've read
 

The Gardener

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Gunner said:
I just wanted to leave and go home ASAP, so I could enter HairlossTalk.com.

I hope HairLossTalk.com kicked in some cash for the nice product placement in your production?
 

TheOliviaTremorControl

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I don't think you guys realize that, while this story has some comedic value, the undertones are cutting and harsh.

His girlfriend of four hours left him because he is losing his hair. How's that for shallow? I'm almost crying into my soup myself because what the f*** am I going to do when my girlfriend dumps me for my hairloss? Blow my f*****g brains out on my coffee table. This is a sick, sick, sick disease. I don't ever want to procreate because any male offspring of mine will stand a good f*****g chance of going through this same, horrible process.

Baldness is like being buried alive. It is a slow-waiting death from which you can not escape. It is having choices slowly ripped away from. It is not being hired for a job. It is being disregarded as a potential mate. It is potentially missing out on the love of your life...
for no other reason
than the fact
that we were f*****g born this way.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd rather be alive and bald than have aids or aggressive cancer, but outside of fatal diseases, balding is one of the worse f*****g things imaginable in these days and times.
I mean, I've always been relatively unattractive... so I can't even imagine what kind of blow this must be like for someone who is attractive.

God I want to tear my f*****g eyes out.
 

raikkonen

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this one made me laugh :lol: but this story can happen to anyone in this forum so i hope we get the message...
 

jeffsss

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TheOliviaTremorControl said:
His girlfriend of four hours left him because he is losing his hair. How's that for shallow? I'm almost crying into my soup myself because what the f*** am I going to do when my girlfriend dumps me for my hairloss? Blow my f****ing brains out on my coffee table. This is a sick, sick, sick disease. I don't ever want to procreate because any male offspring of mine will stand a good f****ing chance of going through this same, horrible process.
God I want to tear my f****ing eyes out.

I hear ya man. I feel the same way.

every day i wake up i worry that it's worse.. my beautiful 21 year old girlfriend tells me that she'll love me no matter what.. but she hasnt gotten the full effect that i'm going to get i dont think....

I hate life these days.
 

Private Ryan

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nice way to tell a sad story. somehow no matter how bad things get, there is always a little bit of goodness in it if you put in effort to find.

but i hope the main story line is not what really happen to you.
 

ginald

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gunner....you the spirit (and reincarnation) of peter cook

or perhaps he never actually died.

mind you cookie had a full head of hair and nobody could write with that sort of feeling without being bald themselves....perhaps cookie discovered he was shedding and decided to end it all before the horrible inevitable overtook him.

if i come back it wont be for at least 100 years....maybe they have THE cure then.
 

Nathaniel

Experienced Member
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That was simply awesome. Only people who have gone through hairloss can truly relate to this.

Noooooooooorwoooooooooood! Hahaha
 
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