I Just Can't Get Over How Little Attention Young Men With Premature male pattern baldness Get From Society

[Timii]

We live in a shallow world where looks play an important role , especially in the dating scene. Many young men who are just starting out interacting with members of the opposite gender can get unlucky and start losing their hair prematurely (I think I don't need to mention that this includes me). Yet everything we've got is a drug that can destroy your libido and grow you boobs or a foam that induceses heart palpitations or collagen loss. Not to mention the fact that the efficiency of these is often up for debate. On top of this, men with premature male pattern baldness seem to not exist in the eyes of society, it's not acknowledged as a problem, many people even think hair loss is only age-related. It's a problem we have to suffer through in silence, away from everone's eyes, a problem that's not addressed at all. If only more scientists put a bit more research into this we would at least have better treatments. Instead it's ignored.

 

[Medina]

Then save your money and get a transplant that will buy you YEARS and maybe save the entirety of your youth

It's a solution that is side effect free, relatively cheap and good in quality these days

Don't waste your time looking at studies and experimental crap that goes no where

I'm only telling you this because I spent years on this forum doing the same thing

 

[Wisemiller]

Then save your money and get a transplant that will buy you YEARS and maybe save the entirety of your youth

It's a solution that is side effect free, relatively cheap and good in quality these days

Don't waste your time looking at studies and experimental crap that goes no where

I'm only telling you this because I spent years on this forum doing the same thing

While I agree that the median wage can easily afford a decent transplant with a bit of planning, and there are few complications, there is still one problem. They don't work. Transplants are only for the few lucky men who have front recession only and stabilize there, therefore able to dense back what was lost. In the majority of men this just doesn't work. The majority of hair transplant results I see are unacceptable to a man under 45.

 

[whatintheworld]

Transplants are marketed as a solution but really meticulous planning and a bit of luck are needed for them to be successful. You need to stabilize your hair loss or hope it doesn't get worse, and even with dutasteride people still continue to lose hair. I am on finasteride and minoxidil and I'm continuing to lose hair.

You need to hope you don't have diffuse thinning in your donor and that you won't get shock loss. However, buying 5 years of looking better might still be worth it.

However, it is comforting to know that even if I lose everything on top, I can at least get an FUE and some smp and look "balding" and not bald. I don't know why guys go overboard for SMP as well.

As long as I can FUE some type of hairline and at least look "ok" when I look at myself in the mirror, there is a way out of this hell.

That's not to say a FUT might not be appealing though. The higher yield and the greater preservation of donor is an attractive proposition, and SMP into the scar later on is an option too.

 

[Timii]

Wasn't the minimal age for transplants something like 25? I'm 20 years old, so I would have to survive 5 more years with only finasteride and dermarolling to get there.

 

[baldcel503]

Wasn't the minimal age for transplants something like 25? I'm 20 years old, so I would have to survive 5 more years with only finasteride and dermarolling to get there.

Ignore the idiots who made this rule up, you want to live your life before 30 so you don't care about this nonsense at that point.The only pre-req IMO is stabilizing the hair loss before transplant.

 

[Matt3535]

Those idiots are called doctors.

To each their own but I personally think this perspective is tragically shortsighted.

You don't suddenly stop giving a sh*t at 30. For some people, life actually really just starts out at this point. Meaning family, the right relationship, buying a house, moving forward in your job or career. Perhaps most importantly: Being the person you'll be for the rest of your life. Your brain keeps developing until your mid 20s.

Speaking from personal experience, my 30s already are vastly superior to my 20s, just a few years in. The financial freedom alone and opportunites you have at that point are incomparable to almost everyone at 20 or 21. Almost all aspects of life are better.

"Enjoying your 20s" as if that is the only peroid where you can be young, sexy, healthy, fit and live a life worth living is just an immature standpoint in my honest opinion. See, I'm not trying to be mean because I understand it feels like your time is running out but I can't help but like getting a transplant at the start of your 20s (which, as @whatintheworld correctly pointed out, will often not yield an acceptable result for people that age) is a huge mistake.

The solution, for me, seems clear.

Oh, and while I do agree that it is way harder for balding young men to gain attention (especially in today's superficial tinder-world) that is true for most young men overall. I personally knew a lot of young balding men in my day who were having lots of success while other fullheads never got lucky. I mean, OP is right. But it's also much more complex.

 

[James Oliver]

I've got diffuse thinning all over to some degree. A hair transplant isnt going to work. I got sides from Saw palm so i cant take the finasteride route. Might try zix but im clearly an agressive case... early 20's and im screwed really.

 

[Wisemiller]

Despite what I said above about a transplant usually not working in the long term, I disagree with Matt3535 about not getting a transplant early. If you are unable to gain confidence as a man in your 20s, its not going to happen in your 30s.

If you can afford it without straining yourself, and you know you are going to do it, get it done early when you still have the hair to look good. Your still going to be shaving your head in your 30s, but at least you would have gotten to build the experiences and confidence needed and build the appropriate character that you will need for the rest of your life. Entering your 30s without having a fulfilling 20s is the main cause of the ever increasing male suicide spike.

 

[James Oliver]

Despite what I said above about a transplant usually not working in the long term, I disagree with Matt3535 about not getting a transplant early. If you are unable to gain confidence as a man in your 20s, its not going to happen in your 30s.

If you can afford it without straining yourself, and you know you are going to do it, get it done early when you still have the hair to look good. Your still going to be shaving your head in your 30s, but at least you would have gotten to build the experiences and confidence needed and build the appropriate character that you will need for the rest of your life. Entering your 30s without having a fulfilling 20s is the main cause of the ever increasing male suicide spike.

Damn that last sentence hit me hard. I'm currently not fulfilling my 20s for various other reasons. Christ.

 

[Matt3535]

I don't 100% agree with your points, @Wisemiller, but I see where you are coming from. I kind of left out that of course you have to invest in yourself in other ways during your 20s. Like leaving bad habits behind, getting therapy, working out, earning your degree. I didn't mean that you magically get better in your 30s.

Personally speaking, I wouldn't say my 20s were fulfilling but I had girlfriends, went abroad, went to parties, had success with my hobbies and got my Master's. Despite the highlights, you still might have a lot of problems and habits that plague you; things that are often outside of your control.

Overall, I would say that expecting to live a fulfilling year, let alone a decade, is kind of a bad attitude. Like, you should strive toward being happy but always with the realization that it is most probably just an unattainable utopia and that you, by and large, already live a pretty good life, comparatively. True happiness is possibly just a quickly dissipating state of being. Maybe I'm too negative here but that's my perspective.

And yeah, by all means, get the transplant if you really think it will give you the life you want. I've just followed Spencer Kobren long enough to know what the true cost of early transplants (or transplants in general opposed to conservative treatments) is. I mean well.

 

[INT]

Despite what I said above about a transplant usually not working in the long term, I disagree with Matt3535 about not getting a transplant early. If you are unable to gain confidence as a man in your 20s, its not going to happen in your 30s.

If you can afford it without straining yourself, and you know you are going to do it, get it done early when you still have the hair to look good. Your still going to be shaving your head in your 30s, but at least you would have gotten to build the experiences and confidence needed and build the appropriate character that you will need for the rest of your life. Entering your 30s without having a fulfilling 20s is the main cause of the ever increasing male suicide spike.

I would like to see a source for the part in bold

 

[Hangin'on Hair]

Damn that last sentence hit me hard. I'm currently not fulfilling my 20s for various other reasons. Christ.

Don't worry. Your 20's are no different than your 30's. I have lived through my 20's and 30's already. There was really no difference. Still could go out and party, hook up with younger attractive lady's and have fun. Hell, I'm now a bachelor in my early 40's and I still feel no different than when I was in my 20's. Except for a few more aches and pains.

 

[karatekid]

This, a man is not like a woman who has a biological clock.

Although I imagine having a relationship with a 20 something gets harder the older get as a man. (not talking about one night stands or fwb)

Your biological clock is your hair bro. You can compare women fertility to men's hair - as you keep losing it, you are less and less fuckable.

 

[Derelict]

Don't worry. Your 20's are no different than your 30's. I have lived through my 20's and 30's already. There was really no difference. Still could go out and party, hook up with younger attractive lady's and have fun. Hell, I'm now a bachelor in my early 40's and I still feel no different than when I was in my 20's. Except for a few more aches and pains.

Were your 30's better than your 20's? my 20's were ruined by various issues, im 30 right now 31 this year. im hoping to have a better decade this time around

 

[swingline747]

I blame the men. Ive always said you get the attention you want. Ive tried to in the past bring up the issue in places but you get mocked for being whiny or selfish. Hell Ive posted the links to me doing it and asked people to go comment and defend the POV but no one ever does so in the end you all have no one to blame but yourselves for letting society ignore and step on you. Christ you let fat people supplant you as a group to be acknowledged..... FAT PEOPLE!

 

[karatekid]

I blame the men. Ive always said you get the attention you want. Ive tried to in the past bring up the issue in places but you get mocked for being whiny or selfish. Hell Ive posted the links to me doing it and asked people to go comment and defend the POV but no one ever does so in the end you all have no one to blame but yourselves for letting society ignore and step on you. Christ you let fat people supplant you as a group to be acknowledged..... FAT PEOPLE!

Well, I dont know if there is someone to 'blame' but I think the problem is bald men themselves. Because lets face it there are TONS of balding guys/men, and the majority just dont care enough. Of course dont let this forum or other hairloss communities to mislead you, because they attract the most concern ones. We are the minority, most of men dont put much focus on it. Unlike women, or fat women, that are very concern and sensitive regarding their look.

Bald men will often make fun of themselves or other bald men. While you never see a woman makes fun of her look, or some other woman's look.

This is all by my observation ay least. As an example, I have few bald men at my work, and they often mention it. One actually put a sign above his desk saying "this bald man doesnt know where is Jessica" lol....

I actually once heard a conversation between some fullhead and a nw5 (coworkers) and the FULLHEAD told to the bald one about a pill called propecia, and how his friends use it etc...

So if soceity see this of course they wont take it seriously. So baldness becomes a joke...

 

[Timii]

Well, I dont know if there is someone to 'blame' but I think the problem is bald men themselves. Because lets face it there are TONS of balding guys/men, and the majority just dont care enough. Of course dont let this forum or other hairloss communities to mislead you, because they attract the most concern ones. We are the minority, most of men dont put much focus on it. Unlike women, or fat women, that are very concern and sensitive regarding their look.

Bald men will often make fun of themselves or other bald men. While you never see a woman makes fun of her look, or some other woman's look.

This is all by my observation ay least. As an example, I have few bald men at my work, and they often mention it. One actually put a sign above his desk saying "this bald man doesnt know where is Jessica" lol....

I actually once heard a conversation between some fullhead and a nw5 (coworkers) and the FULLHEAD told to the bald one about a pill called propecia, and how his friends use it etc...

So if soceity see this of course they wont take it seriously. So baldness becomes a joke...

I've always said it and will say it again. Baldness sucks at any age but starting to lose your hair in your late teens is hundred times worse than balding at say 35. Premature hair loss is a serious issue but only a small minority of men suffers from it, so it's not taken seriously. In my opinion at least the medical world should acknowledge it as a real problem instead of putting us aside together with the hordes of bald middle aged men who don't care about their hair loss, as if age had nothing to do with the levels of distress hair loss can cause. It's not even remotely the same situation.

 

[karatekid]

I've always said it and will say it again. Baldness sucks at any age but starting to lose your hair in your late teens is hundred times worse than balding at say 35. Premature hair loss is a serious issue but only a small minority of men suffers from it, so it's not taken seriously. In my opinion at least the medical world should acknowledge it as a real problem instead of putting us aside together with the hordes of bald middle aged men who don't care about their hair loss, as if age had nothing to do with the levels of distress hair loss can cause. It's not even remotely the same situation.

First of all you right, the younger you are the more it sucks, I dont like those silly division like 'if you under 20 it is the worst' , 'if you after 35 you dont care' and so on. This is very subjective.
But I dont talk about what objectively worse, Im talking about what guys/men feel subjectively, so yes even at the younger ages the amount of concern guys isnt high enough, as you would think.
I can think of many examples of relatively young guys that dont seem to care. my friend got diffuse thinning in a very bad way from 21, and he doesnt care. some 30yo bald guy at my work talked about that and said he doesnt really care to have his hair back.
And second, it still doesnt invalidate what I said. You never see even a 40 or 50 years old woman make fun of her look or moreover the fact she is fat, and of course a woman wont make fun of another woman. At least at respected circles like work places etc.
At the bottom line women much more concern about look, and much more sensitive about look than men.

Im not trying to put you in the same basket as balding 50yo men, just to explain why society dont take baldness seriously.

However, I believe this is changing, more and more men today understand the importance of their looks, and this trend will probably continue to increase.

 

[disfiguredyoungman]

I blame the men. Ive always said you get the attention you want. Ive tried to in the past bring up the issue in places but you get mocked for being whiny or selfish. Hell Ive posted the links to me doing it and asked people to go comment and defend the POV but no one ever does so in the end you all have no one to blame but yourselves for letting society ignore and step on you. Christ you let fat people supplant you as a group to be acknowledged..... FAT PEOPLE!

You are out of touch old man. I have told you over and over again, if mainstream politicians say rising male suicide rates are a good thing in public and society doesn't give a f*** even about such a serious topic chances are advocating for friggin 'balding awareness' will end in nothing but utter ridicule.