I Had An Epiphany. Confidence Does Matter, A Lot!

[samantha3333]

So a few nights ago me and my friends had a night out. One of my close girl friends, I would say she's a 6.5-7. She could be more attractive if she lost some weight. She's the typical talkative and confident girl. Has high standards and knows what she wants. She is absolutely a natural at flirting with guys especially when drunk, and she's good at it! When I asked her how she could feel so good about herself, she just said I'm just a positive person.
So yeah, we went out. She flirted with countless of hot guys. Like on a scale of 8-9. Whereas me just being the usual nervous and awkward type. What do I do when guys give me attentions? I look away. She is the type of girls who can get to sleep with 9s just because she's confident as f***. And this is the girl who once said to me "Samantha, if anything, you have a better chance at getting hot guys than I do". But I don't. I have no confidence. I tried and covered up my problems with hair fibre as much as I can. In my room, I will look myself in the mirror posing and think damn this girl's got it. But in reality, I have no confidence.

I guess what I'm trying to say it, confidence isn't everything. But lack of confidence is pretty much the end even for girls. Im pretty much insecure just about everything. Not entirely sure if it's due to my previous abusive relationship or hair loss. I can't buy drugs or wigs to cure or hide my lack of confidence. So I haven't dated for a very very long time. From now on I'm trying to be more out there and talk to people. But I'm not sure how far I can get.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

So a few nights ago me and my friends had a night out. One of my close girl friends, I would say she's a 6.5-7. She could be more attractive if she lost some weight. She's the typical talkative and confident girl. Has high standards and knows what she wants. She is absolutely a natural at flirting with guys especially when drunk, and she's good at it! When I asked her how she could feel so good about herself, she just said I'm just a positive person.
So yeah, we went out. She flirted with countless of hot guys. Like on a scale of 8-9. Whereas me just being the usual nervous and awkward type. What do I do when guys give me attentions? I look away. She is the type of girls who can get to sleep with 9s just because she's confident as f***. And this is the girl who once said to me "Samantha, if anything, you have a better chance at getting hot guys than I do". But I don't. I have no confidence. I tried and covered up my problems with hair fibre as much as I can. In my room, I will look myself in the mirror posing and think damn this girl's got it. But in reality, I have no confidence.

I guess what I'm trying to say it, confidence isn't everything. But lack of confidence is pretty much the end even for girls. Im pretty much insecure just about everything. Not entirely sure if it's due to my previous abusive relationship or hair loss. I can't buy drugs or wigs to cure or hide my lack of confidence. So I haven't dated for a very very long time. From now on I'm trying to be more out there and talk to people. But I'm not sure how far I can get.

A woman who is a 7 actually gets approached the most.

Women who are 5'10 and look like supermodels get left alone more than the 7 because guys think they don't have a chance/

With women its not really about confidence.

 

[samantha3333]

A woman who is a 7 actually gets approached the most.

Women who are 5'10 and look like supermodels get left alone more than the 7 because guys think they don't have a chance/

With women its not really about confidence.

So I guess I'll just convince myself I'm a supermodel so no man dares to approach me? No way. My subtle lack of confidence actually made men think I'm cold and arrogant before. In fact I just feel I'm undesirable. It puts guys off.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

A woman who is a 7 actually gets approached the most.

Women who are 5'10 and look like supermodels get left alone more than the 7 because guys think they don't have a chance/

With women its not really about confidence.

If a woman is a 7, she just needs to be available, imo.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

So I guess I'll just convince myself I'm a supermodel so no man dares to approach me? No way. My subtle lack of confidence actually made men think I'm cold and arrogant before. In fact I just feel I'm undesirable. It puts guys off.

I don't know how you are in person but yes, an attitude is a "walk away" signal.

 

[samantha3333]

If a woman is a 7, she just needs to be available, imo.

So am I doomed for being a 7.000..1?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

So am I doomed for being a 7.000..1?

Are you fishing for compliments lol?

 

[hellouser]

Confidence does not apply to women. Men don't care about it.

 

[davesmith420]

It's called "most guys will sleep/flirt back with any girl that isn't a landwhale."

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Confidence does not apply to women. Men don't care about it.

In fact - over confidence is a turn off.

 

[samantha3333]

Confidence does not apply to women. Men don't care about it.

Speaking for people like me, it does. I can't even look my friend's just above average bf in the eyes because I'm, just f*****g shy and awkward with boys.

 

[Patrick_Bateman]

Wow, a girl being able to sleep with tons of men. Must be the confidence!

 

[JohnsonDDG]

If a woman is a 7, she just needs to be available, imo.

Absolutely. And if she is interested then all she has to do is leave hints - eye contact and smile and if the guys half way competent he will make a move.

 

[samantha3333]

Wow, a girl being able to sleep with tons of men. Must be the confidence!

Haha, tell me what it is then.

 

[shookwun]

you cant pull confidence out of thin air - @WhitePolarBear
confidence doesn't frame your face, a women can't run her fingers through your confidence @uncomfortable man



I mean yeah, you can be fat, and confident. I see it all the time, chicks who don't care. Underneath the lard they are perfect specimens, just need to shape themselves, and carve the weight off. Alchohol tends to help, and most men will smash anything.


But I get what you mean. It's easy to preach, but when you have very deep insecurity issues the cure well is a physical result. Getting over my body involved weight lifting, that was the only real solution. Sure, I used to wear baggy clothes, and cover myself up all the time, but that never fixed my self esteem issues

 

[SmoothSailing]

In fact - over confidence is a turn off.

For me shyness/quietness/timidness is a turn on.

 

[samantha3333]

Absolutely. And if she is interested then all she has to do is leave hints - eye contact and smile and if the guys half way competent he will make a move.

But see, the thing is, I can't even do eye contacts and smile because I'm just awkward af. I get a lot of stares and that's all I get from men. No kidding.

 

[SmoothSailing]

But see, the thing is, I can't even do eye contacts and smile because I'm just awkward af. I get a lot of stares and that's all I get from men. No kidding.

Why not go on tinder or something?

 

[Patrick_Bateman]

Haha, tell me what it is then.

Having a vagina.

 

[samantha3333]

Having a vagina.

I have one. I don't get guys.

And yes this is a post of frustration to explore what the f*** is wrong with me