I Feel I Have Been Robbed Of My Humanity...

[FootyStar]

Does anyone else feel the same?

Maybe I’m a unique case since I have alopecia universalis, but when I first got this condition suddenly at 21, I was suddenly treated like a leper by everyone I know.

I am male, soon to be 28 and I have been unable to make a single friend or find a SO since then (all my friends dumped me immediately after they saw me without any hair). My family also treat me as if I have a disease (constant looks of worry on their faces, keeping their distance, etc). Don’t get me wrong, I still keep myself fit and try to “get out there”, but my self-esteem has taken a very steep nosedive over the past few years. As I approach 30 I find myself becoming more reclusive and alone as I don’t know anyone else who has this condition (or even hair loss at all since the vast majority of my relatives are NW2s at the most).

I know I’m not supposed to be here since I don’t have male pattern baldness (or maybe I do since my dad was an NW7 by 30), but I have gotten tired of the constant mantra on other alopecia forums of ‘bald is beautiful’ when peoples’ actions seem to strongly indicate otherwise.

The more realistic view of baldness here is very refreshing to be honest.

 

[blackg]

You're welcome here, mate. And I'm sorry for your condition. It sucks that your so called "friends" have dumped you.
It really opens your eyes to the true nature of or society, doesn't it?

 

[blackg]

I am male, soon to be 28 and I have been unable to make a single friend or find a SO since then (all my friends dumped me immediately after they saw me without any hair).
.

Hi again.
I'm confused on this part. What is an "SO"?

 

[Joan]

Hi again.
I'm confused on this part. What is an "SO"?

Significant other?

 

[FootyStar]

You're welcome here, mate. And I'm sorry for your condition. It sucks that your so called "friends" have dumped you.
It really opens your eyes to the true nature of or society, doesn't it?

Thanks! When I had a full head of hair I used to think that looks only made up a small part of peoples' perception of you. Boy was I wrong.

Hi again.
I'm confused on this part. What is an "SO"?

Sorry, I meant to say 'significant other'.

 

[blackg]

Significant other?

Thanks Joan.

 

[shookwun]

Are you a virgin?

How long have you been celibate for?

 

[Aldrich]

The more realistic view of baldness here is very refreshing to be honest.

The problem with realism is that it's simple and grey. There really isn't anything to say that will make you feel better. But, it's amazing how some people live in such deep lies, as you described that they do on other forums. You could even extend that beyond balding. The amount of people in the world that genuinely think that 'looks isn't everything' is astounding. When everything is said and done, there is only what you look like.

 

[Bobster231]

I feel your pain. I am so sorry. Society is a piece of sh*t.

 

[Bobster231]

Unfortunately in this sh*t world we live in. People do judge a book by its cover.

 

[FootyStar]

Are you a virgin?

How long have you been celibate for?

Yeah I'm a virgin. While my professional life has managed to progress since I was 21 (I've got a pretty good job now) my romantic and social life has stalled and hasn't gone anywhere since I got this condition.

 

[$illy $ymphony]

And why you not wear fake hair?
The least you could do, is have a hair-tattoo;
it would look like you are shaved but not without hair. Would ease your situation a lot.
Because if theory holds true, pepole will ack what they see, even if it is fake.

 

[Bobster231]

He'd need a full cap with his type of Alopecia.

A hair piece topper is one thing. A full cap is a whole other story.


I only know of one person who wears a full cap and that's William Shatner.

 

[FootyStar]

And why you not wear fake hair?
The least you could do, is have a hair-tattoo;
it would look like you are shaved but not without hair. Would ease your situation a lot.
Because if theory holds true, pepole will ack what they see, even if it is fake.

Thanks for the suggestions. I have considered going the hair piece route (a full cap like Bobster231 said) but I have heard stories of hair systems being very high maintenance as well as getting very hot on your head.

A hair tattoo sounds interesting. I wonder how real it would look though.

 

[Bobster231]

Thanks for the suggestions. I have considered going the hair piece route (a full cap like Bobster231 said) but I have heard stories of hair systems being very high maintenance as well as getting very hot on your head.



A hair tattoo sounds interesting. I wonder how real it would look though.

The maintenance takes time getting g used to. They can look great but it's work to maintain.

SMP (hair tattoos) can give you your face frame back with a hairline.

I have seen them look quite good.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Yeah, tell me about it. More naieve souls would try to convince you that your humanity, much like your dignity cant be taken from you. But we know better.... the price of that knowledge is too steep. Social rejection/humiliation cant just be ignored or wished away. It breaks people down and subjigates them to a lesser existance. That is what this sick, massochistic western culture is doing to us. America is a culture in denial. David Cross said it best "As Americans, we stand firm and resolute in the face of rational thought."

 

[Bobster231]

I can't believe how something non life threatening can bring a person down to their knees.

I wish I just didn't give a f***. But I care about how I f*****g look God dammit. Maybe if I was in my 50's I could accept this. But i'm on my 20's for f*** sakes.

Supposed to be the best years of your life.

Robbed of being able to enjoy my younger years. Because I'm a self conscious f***.

There is no f*****g God.

 

[Bobster231]

When you're ugly or you become ugly, you finally see society and people for what they truly are. Never expect real empathy and support, we're alone, but that doesn't mean we can't get our payback and get at least what we want from life.

Breaking into people's houses whIle they are asleep and cutting off all of their hair.

That would bring me joy.

 

[Bobster231]

Do you go for therapy Dante? I've honestly had to see a psychologist due to the depression and anxiety hair loss has caused me.

It helps that my therapist is a younger guy in his late 30's who is a also a hairloss sufferer Norwood 5.

Keeps telling me there is more to life than looks and hair. And I agree to a point. But it doesn't make it any less devastating.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I think you ,me and fred should have an aggressive misery circle jerk slash heavy back patting session.... just to piss off hair loss. 20 other people liked this comment.