I dated a girl I was not attracted to.

[IHateIt]

I wonder if anyone has been through it.

I dated a girl that I would never date in the past. I mean, she's a cool person, but not the kind of look I like.

It's interesting what baldness does to us. No, I don't want the hottest girl in the world nor kiss as many ones I can get.

But baldness really destroyed my identity and now I have settle to for the first girl I can get. This is very very sad.

I still want to know how to get self-steem back without being satisfied about your hair/looks. I really don't understand it. My hair is very important to me.

My mother keeps saying "Forget the hair. You have other qualities.". But my hair was the part of my body I liked the most. She says it because she has all her hair in the head.
It's easy for people to say hair is nothing when they don't have hair loss. In the past I said fatness was nothing, but now I think different. Fat people do suffer a lot. Although nothing comparable to baldness. Let me explain:

I dated another girl in the past. But this one wasn't the face I didn't like much, but she was fat. Now she did a proper diet and exercises now she is in shape and totally HOT and doesn't want this bald sucker anymore. I think I can't do the same and get my life back. Even though I'm a slave to this meds I still got my thin see-through hair for the rest of my life, if I don't go completely cue ball.

And people still say "You'll find a beautiful girl that like you.". I don't believe this crap. People are so damn superficial. Actually I think it's not a matter of being superficial. It's part of the human nature to want beautiful people. And I can't be beautiful without hair.

I wonder how a 18-21 years old female that doesn't lack self-steem too will want to date me, a 21 year old slap head.

Sorry, but I needed to say this somewhere. Parents don't give much support.

PS: I like the girl now. It's that in the past I wouldn't date her when I had my hair. But now I think she doesn't deserve me. She can get someone better. It's funny how baldness can destroy someone's life. Some random piece of protein that grows out of our heads can make such a big difference. And no one here at my home understands this.

 

[Hammer87]

I don't know what you look like. But my friend is also 21 (Just turned) and NW4 but thin all over, he'll be bald by 24. He does the right thing, wears good clothes, works out, cuts his hair short etc. It doesn't seem to have affected him much. He comes out with us to clubs and stuff and gets girls no problem. He actually has a great girlfriend at the moment (Which I'm actually quite jealous about, I saw her first lol) He wouldn't be seen dead with a fat person (He has, in his words 'natural disliking of fatties).

My advice, work on the other aspects of your body. i.e. wardrobe, work out, maybe even get a home teeth whitening kit lol, moisturise face, get a tan etc. Basically do things to mate yourself look better which in turn will raise your self esteem if your self esteem is centred on your appearance. - Some may call it overcompensating, I call it common sense.

 

[IHateIt]

I'm pretty satisfied with everything else in my life. Except for the thinning hair. I'm the kind of person that can't get life going without fixing some issues. And my hair seems unfixable.

I think I'll get a HTP at the end of this year. I already have half of the money and I convinced my father to pay the other half.
The problem is I don't know how much can the hair transplant improve my hair, because it's pretty agressive for a 21 years old, although it seems to be stabilized by the meds, but the already done damage is huge.

 

[Hammer87]

U considered buzzing it until then?

Whenever I get my hair cut short, I love it, so liberating. No long whispy hairs or seeing hairs fall out. Plus would give you a chance to see how you'd look bald and help you accept it. - Often also looks more stylish too.

 

[IHateIt]

I already tried. Looks worse. Even more see-through. Although I agree it creates a good feeling of not seeing hairs falling.

I'm thinking about getting a hair transplant and then buzzing to a #4.

 

[Hammer87]

Would that not show off the scar though?

 

[IHateIt]

That's what I've been wondering.

Doctor said it wouldn't with #4 and only one strip procedure.

But I have to try going lower... like #6, #5, #4 so I can gauge how the scar appears.

 

[s.a.f]

For most people grade 4 or even 3 should be ok if its done by a competent Dr. I've seen grade 2's and even a grade 1 where the scar was'nt visible but that requires the right characteristics of skin type and very high donor density.

 

[ali777]

Your first post doesn't sound too good... You say people are superficial, but then you say you "settled" for a fatty who later became hot.

Basically, what you are saying is that, when she was overweight you didn't like her, but after she lost a few pounds you fell in love with her? Doesn't that make you as superficial as the rest of the society? I hope you can see it for yourself that you are also superficial.

What if she was initially hot, but then put on a few pounds? Then you would be complaining again?

Also, I'd like to give you a tip. If you get the feeling that you are "settling" for someone, that relationship is doomed from the start. Never get involved in a serious relationship with a girl that you think you settle for.

Try to look at it as "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", when you learn how to overcome your superficiality you'll like the other person more.

It will get easier :whistle:

 

[AcceptingIt]

Your first post doesn't sound too good... You say people are superficial, but then you say you "settled" for a fatty who later became hot.

EXACTLY. I love how guys come on here and are all sad about people being superficial yet their biggest struggle with hair loss is that they think it stops them from getting "hot" chicks. The hypocrisy is overwhelming.

 

[IHateIt]

Basically I meant that even the most fat girl can still become hot. And after she became hot she dumped me like I was just a temporary place holder.

A bald guy is doomed to be bald. I'll never conformable with appearance again. It's like living a life with no perspective of happiness.

I'm superficial too. Everybody is to some degree.

We have to admit the truth: It's a competition. The individual with most good features have more chances of procreating.

We young baldies already start with less good features. Actually it's worse: we have the hair then we lose it, which is worse than being born without any hair from the start.

 

[BobbyChalfont]

I hate these threads and there seems to be a hell of a lot of them cropping up recently.

"I'm going bald and now I can only date fat, ugly chicks! Women are sooooooo superficial!"

The worst thing is, the people who start these threads can't see how damn hypocritical they're being.

 

[s.a.f]

I hate these threads and there seems to be a hell of a lot of them cropping up recently.

"I'm going bald and now I can only date fat, ugly chicks!

Yes there are alot of these.

Women are sooooooo superficial!"

I dont see many of these.

But the fact is its a superficial world. Everyone wants the most attractive partner they can get its only human nature. Yes personality counts but initial attraction is still extremly important.

 

[Hammer87]

Intial attraction's never been a huge issue to me.

The last 4 girls I've had a huge crush on developed after initally not thinking a lot of them (they weren't ugly, still pretty just didn't sand out), before getting to know them. The last two girls I developed a relationship with through initial attraction lasted barely more than a month.

 

[ali777]

I agree with that... The last girl I had a crush on didn't attract me the first time I saw her. It was talking to her that made me fancy her...

The only girl I had a crush on based on looks was a girl I fell in love with when I was 15. She turned out to be a b*tch.

 

[Hammer87]

To me, 'cuteness' is what I go for, which doesn't really come across through looks alone. If I talk to a girl and she's really cute it's like a +10 on her looks. I don't do fat girls either though.

Girls I've gone for through initial attraction have just been one night stands/seen for a month before not working out.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Not every hook up is a match made in heaven, ha. I think beautiful people have some sort of superficial obligation to hook up with eachother. You're hot, I'm hot-let's do it, seems to be enough of a reason for alot of those people. On the other end of the spectrum you have a bald guy starring at a fat girl and both know the way society works that they are going to have to settle for eachother because they can't afford (w/ aesthetic currency) anything better. It has just as less to do with soul mates as it does for the good looking people.

 

[Hammer87]

I think beautiful people have some sort of superficial obligation to hook up with eachother. You're hot, I'm hot-let's do it, seems to be enough of a reason for alot of those people. On the other end of the spectrum you have a bald guy starring at a fat girl and both know the way society works that they are going to have to settle for eachother because they can't afford (w/ aesthetic currency) anything better. It has just as less to do with soul mates as it does for the good looking people.

It's common knowledge humans generally go for someone of an equal percieved level of attractiveness to each other. So they can get the best mate, but lower the risk of getting turned down. It's why people who think they're hotter than they are generally don't do well in the dating scene. So it's not superficial for two '10s' to go for eacher other anymore than it is for two '3s' to go for each other.