How do you cope with compliments on your hair?

jimlad

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Was at an event the other day and was heavily complimented for my hair. It actually makes me feel really awkward and a bit of a fraud!
There was one moment where I was standing with 4 bald guys and they were lamenting my luscious locks!!
Does anyone else struggle with compliments?
 

Hair2019

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I get compliments on my hair now too. Nobody suspects it's a hair system - they just assume I have a nice head of hair. No I don't struggle with it at all. It's confirmation that the hair system is working!
 
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JaneyElizabeth

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I always just say thank you unless I think they are interested in knowing my life history which for all of us is rare. I know it feels like cheating when getting a compliment especially from a bald guy.
 

BaldBearded

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I walked into the office last Sunday with a 12" silver mohawk. So all the folks who started working within the last 3 years don't know me without hair.

I would say that 90% of everyone said something, and it was positive.

The new folks, who said something... most said "wow, I didn't know you had long hair", and so I came clean about it being a hair system.

They were quite impressed... and these are Israelis, know for being direct!

I did have a date with someone and on the second date, he enquired what was the "second job" I had... so I showed him the studio. And then I had to explain... ha, he was cool with it.

But then said what was the chance he could see me without it...
 

cottonReville

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I just say, "It's a wig."

Then they say, "No!" and laugh it off.

And I'm, "No, seriously, it's this piece of sh*t wig I literally glue to my head."

I don't think anyone thinks it's fake. One person has called me out for having one; it was actually a guy, a kiosk sea-salt pusher at the mall. When they stopped me to run their nonsense, I said No, but I want to try your job. So I did for a while, just f*****g around, and the guy - who said he'd been a hairstylist (who knows? they're hustlers) - noted I was wearing a toupee. That was a piece I'd just thrown on my head without cutting the excess face from the front off of.

I honestly just don't care if people know or not. I don't know why because I care a lot about less important things.

What does bother me about wearing is just how brittle the toupees are & the goddamn nuissance of having to full bond them onto my head. Tape was a breeze but it doesn't agree w my skin...
 

albar05

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i get a lot of compliments on my hair from strangers , i wear it longer and in a well styled blonde quiff, aka Jonny Depp in the 90's and it does make me feel a little anxious purely coz i feel people maybe scrutinising it and if i feel like its not 100% perfect on that day , i get anxiety knowing they are looking closely at it.. but honestly most people don't even look for signs its not your own... they just see it at face value , appreciate and move on.. i only ever had one guy about 5 yrs ago when i wore my natural colour of Dark Brown , ask me if my hair was dyed coz he was a hair dresser and could tell it was not a natural brown , which is odd coz i didn't think they dyed all darker colours , i may be wrong. Mostly tho , its all positive compliments and i feel proud that people think that coz i do all my own maintenance now, including cutting the hair styles and i am def not a trained hairdresser, i just try my best.. haha
 

JaneyElizabeth

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i get a lot of compliments on my hair from strangers , i wear it longer and in a well styled blonde quiff, aka Jonny Depp in the 90's and it does make me feel a little anxious purely coz i feel people maybe scrutinising it and if i feel like its not 100% perfect on that day , i get anxiety knowing they are looking closely at it.. but honestly most people don't even look for signs its not your own... they just see it at face value , appreciate and move on.. i only ever had one guy about 5 yrs ago when i wore my natural colour of Dark Brown , ask me if my hair was dyed coz he was a hair dresser and could tell it was not a natural brown , which is odd coz i didn't think they dyed all darker colours , i may be wrong. Mostly tho , its all positive compliments and i feel proud that people think that coz i do all my own maintenance now, including cutting the hair styles and i am def not a trained hairdresser, i just try my best.. haha
This reminds me of how in Latin America, maybe 60 years ago, they had a custom where if someone admired something you had, like say a pen, you would offer to give to them but they would never accept it sort of like Jerry Seinfeld with the space pen. It just strikes me as funny say if someone compliments my wig, I could take it off and hand it to them and say, "it's yours!"
 

deg_dilemma

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I find myself constantly trying to make the hair look less 'perfect', which is half the battle with hair systems and with hair stylists. The stylists will (rightly so) want to create a masterpiece and often do, but at my age I need something more down to earth, realistic and 'aged'. So although I love the feel of new hair, I do find myself needing it to fade a bit or have it cut shorter.

I am sure a lot of people look me thinking that I've had some work done, but they can't always figure it out. This is one of the main reasons I go for an exposed hairline whenever possible, so that people take a good look and it looks incredibly realistic at the hairline, therefore diverting their attention from any "wig" thoughts.

I also make a comment about needing to take more care of oneself as we get older. I mention fibres etc so that people would rather believe I am using products than wearing a hair piece. It would be so much easier -- and a relief -- to be open and honest with people, but unfortunately here I still believe there is an uneducated and distasteful view from others, when it comes to hair systems.
 

JaneyElizabeth

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I find myself constantly trying to make the hair look less 'perfect', which is half the battle with hair systems and with hair stylists. The stylists will (rightly so) want to create a masterpiece and often do, but at my age I need something more down to earth, realistic and 'aged'. So although I love the feel of new hair, I do find myself needing it to fade a bit or have it cut shorter.

I am sure a lot of people look me thinking that I've had some work done, but they can't always figure it out. This is one of the main reasons I go for an exposed hairline whenever possible, so that people take a good look and it looks incredibly realistic at the hairline, therefore diverting their attention from any "wig" thoughts.

I also make a comment about needing to take more care of oneself as we get older. I mention fibres etc so that people would rather believe I am using products than wearing a hair piece. It would be so much easier -- and a relief -- to be open and honest with people, but unfortunately here I still believe there is an uneducated and distasteful view from others, when it comes to hair systems.
That is a strange ethic but you are right about it. Bing Crosby used to only cover his crown and I think that is more easily done without people realizing but of course, the frontal scalp is exposed. People with systems should consider leaving some recession in the corners to avoid it looking too perfect and too much like a hair helmet. I always wonder how the Founding Fathers felt about their wigs. James Madison was exceptionally bald but in a world of wigs, perhaps it doesn't matter that much but back in Rome, things were more similar to now, with no wigs and largely no hats.

Virtually all men wore hats in 1960 (not counting baseball, golf or tennis caps). Now virtually zero do. George Costanza believed the hat days were a "bald man's paradise".
 

mrdavies

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Was at an event the other day and was heavily complimented for my hair. It actually makes me feel really awkward and a bit of a fraud!
There was one moment where I was standing with 4 bald guys and they were lamenting my luscious locks!!
Does anyone else struggle with compliments?
I think sometimes people who struggle with the way they look find it hard to accept compliments anyway. Just be happy people think you look great. Women wear make up, have hair extensions, fake nails etc to look good and feel better about themselves I doubt they feel like frauds when they get compliments.
 

yurguardianangel

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I just say, "It's a wig."

Then they say, "No!" and laugh it off.

And I'm, "No, seriously, it's this piece of sh*t wig I literally glue to my head."

I don't think anyone thinks it's fake. One person has called me out for having one; it was actually a guy, a kiosk sea-salt pusher at the mall. When they stopped me to run their nonsense, I said No, but I want to try your job. So I did for a while, just f*****g around, and the guy - who said he'd been a hairstylist (who knows? they're hustlers) - noted I was wearing a toupee. That was a piece I'd just thrown on my head without cutting the excess face from the front off of.

I honestly just don't care if people know or not. I don't know why because I care a lot about less important things.

What does bother me about wearing is just how brittle the toupees are & the goddamn nuissance of having to full bond them onto my head. Tape was a breeze but it doesn't agree w my skin...

There are many many tapes out there though... The ones I have in my supply are Walker Extenda Bond strip(ones with holes in), Walker no shine, super stick, Walker lace front blue. There's plenty of others including Walker signature tape.

And not all hair systems are all fragile either.
French lace is tougher than ultra thin skin. And mono with poly sides and a lace front is the most durable whilst being realistic looking still.
 

cottonReville

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There are many many tapes out there though... The ones I have in my supply are Walker Extenda Bond strip(ones with holes in), Walker no shine, super stick, Walker lace front blue. There's plenty of others including Walker signature tape.

And not all hair systems are all fragile either.
French lace is tougher than ultra thin skin. And mono with poly sides and a lace front is the most durable whilst being realistic looking still.
I've literally tried them all. Literally all at this pt. Every type of base & mishmash of bases. I just had try everything, for irrational reasons. I have not tried EVERY form on Mono, but have used Mono several. Nor have I tried things like "German Lace" but you get the pt.

What I mean is, they'll are fragile to the pt that, if you want to look good and live normally, you really have to go thru pieces at a rate of 1 new piece per month or 2. That's w/ UTS. After trying it for an extended period, there's no way I can go back to lace.
 

JaneyElizabeth

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I've literally tried them all. Literally all at this pt. Every type of base & mishmash of bases. I just had try everything, for irrational reasons. I have not tried EVERY form on Mono, but have used Mono several. Nor have I tried things like "German Lace" but you get the pt.

What I mean is, they'll are fragile to the pt that, if you want to look good and live normally, you really have to go thru pieces at a rate of 1 new piece per month or 2. That's w/ UTS. After trying it for an extended period, there's no way I can go back to lace.
What would you estimate the cost to be if you could use two a month of the best available? What about hair cuts? It seemed in the olden days that they made most of their money on the jacked up hair cut costs.
 

cottonReville

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I think sometimes people who struggle with the way they look find it hard to accept compliments anyway. Just be happy people think you look great. Women wear make up, have hair extensions, fake nails etc to look good and feel better about themselves I doubt they feel like frauds when they get complime
What would you estimate the cost to be if you could use two a month of the best available? What about hair cuts? It seemed in the olden days that they made most of their money on the jacked up hair cut costs.
I can't answer that because I don't buy the "best" available. I just get whatever at this pt, as whatever's in stock is hit or miss. One thing is for certain: If it's not good, it gets sent right the f*** back to China.

I thought I read - in your LONG LONG posts - that you wear an ordinary wig?
 

cottonReville

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You should just get a bunch of lace front & call it a day. They're affordable, very nice & very low maintenance (dab of ghostbond/white glue at hairline). I know a lot of women who wear them. Out the gate, those wigs arrive w preplucked hairlines, etc.
 

JaneyElizabeth

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You should just get a bunch of lace front & call it a day. They're affordable, very nice & very low maintenance (dab of ghostbond/white glue at hairline). I know a lot of women who wear them. Out the gate, those wigs arrive w preplucked hairlines, etc.
Lol. Not so much for me but I looked into systems in depth in 1984 and I had this slick brochure that I carried around but then I found out that I had too much hair anyway. I am not the greatest about hygiene either. I have mostly restored my hair but I do love the look of the wig but I laugh because people know me this way and they wouldn't if I started going by my male name and look. Believe it or not, some times non-binary people have essentially two different personalities competing and it is better to pick one or the other to be out in the work world.

I was just wondering for the younger guys who are willing to do everything right, proper care and washing along with the best male kits, say two to three monthly, how much annually including hair cuts. Some of this also is the path not traveled so I wonder how it compares to buying meds forever.

Thanks,
Janey
 

jimlad

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Yeah, I think that it's mostly an issue when it's a bald guy. When I first went out wearing my system, I was at a meal with a large group of my friends. One guy, who I know struggles a lot with the fact he's losing his hair, complimented me. I later saw him looking at my hair and then looking really depressed. It was definitely confirmation that the look is complete, but I felt bad. I was tempted to tell him, but it's a conversation I am just not comfortable having with anyone.

It's a funny dynamic in social circles now. I take comments about my hair really well (someone said it had grown a lot!) because they indicate that people have no problem speaking to me about it, and therefore probably assume it is my own hair (no one wants to discuss a wig with the person underneath said wig!). But yeah, compliments are hard. I say thank you and move the subject on as fast as I can. It's literally the only time I ever feel awkward in my system.
 

Nostab2

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I dont handle it well. I dont like attention being drawn to it. On dating sites I get this and change the subject. Almost like if we meet, you will be let down. On the other hand I guess it's good because it looks real? Idk
 
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