How Do All of You Guys feel self-confident and relate to your peers?

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andrew lincoln

Guest
I lost family in a drunk driving accident. I battled acne my whole following puberty until accutane. Hairloss followed. I've been banned on a few sites cause nobody could possibly be this bad off. I started working out 3x a wk, eating a nutritious diet, doing cold approach, reading stuff to shape my mind, meditation, yoga, and working on love which is essentially self acceptance. I started dating again. Much of our suffering is and has always been self perpetuated.


For what it's worth I'm really sorry to hear that! All the best man, I hope things get better for you man!
 

Thom

Experienced Member
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I'm 26 as well and I don't think I've become more confident. I just don't care what people think anymore. As to where I used to be sensitive, I now feel that if someone judges my looks it's their problem.

Self-deprecating humor goes a long way too. It helps me care less and people like me more because Im laid back.
 

DannyBoyy

Senior Member
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I'm 26 as well and I don't think I've become more confident. I just don't care what people think anymore. As to where I used to be sensitive, I now feel that if someone judges my looks it's their problem.

Self-deprecating humor goes a long way too. It helps me care less and people like me more because Im laid back.





+1
 

SDK

Established Member
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Realize that hair isn't everything.

- - - Updated - - -

Also, get the **** off the couch and into the gym. Get a killer six-pack that you can whip out at the first sign of an out of shape person with hair chirping you for being bald.

Works every time.
 

Mr White

Established Member
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I was extremely insecure as a young kid (not because of hair loss) but now that I am 36 all that is behind me.

I am not very sociable or talkative but that has nothing to do with insecurity, it's simply a survival technique. Silence is indeed golden and you can avoid A LOT of problems if you know when to keep your mouth shut.
 

SDK

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Some people can't get a sick-pack, or substantial changes in musculature without steroids. I'm one of those, a gym trainer told me straight that I would not go anywhere without ingesting dangerous substances.

So what is your advice for ectomorph people?

Dress as well as your budget will allow you to. Always wear nice, fitted clothes wherever possible.
 

Quantum Cat

Senior Member
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Some people can't get a sick-pack, or substantial changes in musculature without steroids. I'm one of those, a gym trainer told me straight that I would not go anywhere without ingesting dangerous substances.

So what is your advice for ectomorph people?

yep me too. I could spend the rest of my life down the gym but I'll never get a body-builder type build, because it simply isn't how I'm made. I could tone up a bit - and I intend to do that - but I'll never be Arnie (not that I'd want to look like him anyway)
 

SDK

Established Member
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There's no need to bulk up to try and look like Arnie or Vin Diesel. Unless you have hard, masculine features, that look is quite difficult to pull off.

What you need to do is eliminate as much excess body fat as you can and make the features you do have more chiseled and apparent. Add in a darker skin tone (be it natural or spray) and most people have the ability to minimize their aesthetic loss. I also don't get when people say they won't be able to attract 8s, 9s and 10s...if you weren't doing it before, you sure as hell won't be able to now. I know plenty of good looking men who look like absolute studs but have very little skill when it comes to attracting women (I'm talking stuff like poor wardrobe, bad posture etc.) If you were, you might still be able to. It all depends on the person and their charisma level. But hair loss will have a negative effect on 95% of men's appearances. However substantial that loss is really up to you.
 

Quantum Cat

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I'm on a fitness regime at the moment. First stage is to lose 2 stone (I'm 12 stone at the moment). After that I'm going to tone up pecs and abs with some dumbells I have.

I used to go to the gym but I don't think I'll bother rejoining, I don't think it's worth the expense to be honest. You can lose weight perfectly well with running/cycling/swimming.

my biggest weakness is junk food though!
 

SDK

Established Member
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It depends on what you want to do. Do you want to lose weight to be thinner, or do you want to lose fat but not lose muscle?

If the former, swim like a mother****er and go for runs on a daily basis.

If the latter, the gym is the best thing for you. Lift heavy and do a ton of cardio.
 

Thom

Experienced Member
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I started Insanity this morning, I'm sure most of you are familiar with it. I'm ready to get rid of this extra flab.

If I'm to be bald someday then I'll at least be in shape!
 

Thom

Experienced Member
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I often wear hoodies so I can cover my head/hair - but people assume I'm a thug then

What about the Irish/Newsie type caps? I don't know what name you have for them over there. That's what I wore when I had short hair. Suits most guys!

- - - Updated - - -

Yep, read great things about it. I may give it a try soon.

I just finished Day 4. It's sure tough but you feel great afterwards. If anything the endorphins make it worth while.
 

Quantum Cat

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Why you don't go for a hair transplant or hair restoration. I am sure it gives you 100% results and you feel proud which makes you self esteemed. There are also many natural hair loss treatments to regain your again.

what are you selling? :ninja:
 

slipy

Senior Member
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see? bbsa isn't as unreasonable as some of you think. he's not telling you to blow your head off, the message he's trying to convey is - escapism (by whichever means available or preferred) is bald guy's only friend and solace. seeking social validation is futile.

sounds reasonable to me.
 

DannyBoyy

Senior Member
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Lmao i know BBSA is trolling and probably posting this page on that other forum (puahate?) as we type for him and his pals to laugh at but even so social life over? lmao bless i was out with friends yesterday and i saw many bald/balding people (me being one off them) having a laugh...but yeah im sure most know he is talking bull anyway but i thought i would but my input...i think his problem is more with what primo said on the other page.
 

uncomfortable man

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Just don't underestimate the impact that going bald can have on someone's self esteem and to a greater degree, their life.

How we feel about ourselves is of primary importance, is it not?

How big of a role does our appearance play in our self esteem?

Be honest...
 

ScarredOne

Banned
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I hide behind a hat a lot of times, or use concealers so I do feel like I'm hiding from my friends in a sense, but you got to do what works for you at the end of the day, and concealers make me feel a little better at times around my friends, I just hope they don't notice lol!

Being the victim of bad hair transplants and scarring as well as hair loss. I hide behind a hat and concealers too. I am not as concerned with people knowing I use concealers as much as I am about them wondering or seeing what I look like without them.

Don't get me wrong, being bald is one of the worst things that can happen to a guy. However, if you go out bald and people or girls somehow manage to like you, you know they like you for who you are.

If you use concealers or hide behind a hat because of a bad transplant, scars, and baldness and people like you, you know it isn't real because they would be repulsed by the way you really look.

As a bald guy, they may be repulsed and not like you but they also know you didn't do anything to cause it, like overeating and being fat.

On the other hand if you are like me, you look like a freak and you did cause it by trying to fix the problem (which will be seen as insecurity by everyone). Not only will they be 100 times more repulsed than they are to a bald guy, they will tell other people about what a freak you look like, how stupid you were to do that to your head, and laugh at you.

- - - Updated - - -

Just don't underestimate the impact that going bald can have on someone's self esteem and to a greater degree, their life.

How we feel about ourselves is of primary importance, is it not?

How big of a role does our appearance play in our self esteem?

Be honest...

See my post above. My self esteem is totally shot due to my appearance. It is constantly on my mind and a source of ongoing depression. I know I will be alone for the rest of my life. I have the double whammy of not only being bald, but also looking like a freak due to bad hair transplants and scarring.

Even a burn victim who is disfigured may repulse people, but they will get sympathy and no one would think of laughing at them for the way they look. I can't even have friends at work for fear if one found out about the way I really look, they would tell everyone else and I would be the laughing stock of the place.
 
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