How Do All of You Guys feel self-confident and relate to your peers?

[tigger]

I am now 26, and I have held back a lot in life because of my low self-esteem about my hair loss.
I have staid in a lot of nights, and not been the best at being really social, or being a responsive friend. This is all because I have felt that I could not relate or interact with other young people because of my hair loss. I did not want to be defined negatively...so I sought to not be defined by others at all, and spend time a part. In truth though I am very much a social person, and crave interaction and meeting new people.

So, How do you guys relate to other young people while being different, having a condition that so strongly impacts self-esteem, behavior, and opportunities.
What are strategies to cope with this, to be confident and like yourself, and be able to make meaningful relationships with others, despite not being able to fit it.

 

[slipy]

we don't, at least im sure the majority of premature hair loss sufferers can't relate to peers and it's only a normal reaction to something like this, because we differ from the norm (in a strictly undesirable way). we're seen as old and past our prime by many and not a part of the young generation.

for me personaly, since hair loss i can only relate to deformed villain charachters from movies like The Hills Have Eyes, Wrong Turn, Friday the 13th etc rather than good looking teenage charachters who are portrayed enjoying their youth.

 

[Islander]

You guys are scary similar to me in opinions. That's why I don't have a large post count. I just don't know what to add for the most part, since you just get words and emotions right from my head.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Whenever any friends invite me out to parties or bars I always decline. I've had too many uncomfortable moments and downright confrontations as a result of assholes responding to my baldness that it just isn't worth the aggravation. I have more fun staying home and playing video games anyway.

- - - Updated - - -

I suppose you have seen my recent topic "made fun because of hair loss...", it shows the reality about hair loss, people mock it, despise it and ultimately will see you as less valuable than other people because of it. It doesn't mean you can't have meaningful relationships because of it, my friends are still there and have my back, my girlfriend, even if she would like to run her hands through my hair supports me too. It's just the random jerks I meet in everyday life that are a problem.

Looks like someone gets it. The thing about the random jerks that yell comments is that they are relatively rare, but the more subtle looks and signs from people who are not outright jerks but may still harbor some prejudice or anxiety towards bald men are much more common and wide spread. Basically, those few vocal jerks are yelling what most people are thinking.

 

[ABJac]

Tiger, if you actually have a desire to continue living unlike the rest of these pu$$ies, refer to my posts in IMPACT OF HAIRLOSS>GIRLS WHO WANT MORE SEX HAVE HIGHER STANDARDS. Chances are for guys like uncomfortable and slipy, if they had norwood -2, girls still wouldn't like them. Its a typical self fufilling prophecy for young guys to blame all their struggles on hair loss when in reality, hair would really do nothing but make them feel better about themselves, nobody else would like them more. I am a young guy who has avoided stuff just like the rest of you, but I know how stupid it is and when I don't avoid stuff everything is fine, sometimes hair loss does get the best of you but we have one life and if your only chance at being a happy successful person rides on your hairline, well chances are the rest of the world would rather you stay trapped behind your computers crying on blogs, because your pathetic in general.

 

[andrew lincoln]

I hide behind a hat a lot of times, or use concealers so I do feel like I'm hiding from my friends in a sense, but you got to do what works for you at the end of the day, and concealers make me feel a little better at times around my friends, I just hope they don't notice lol!

 

[Quantum Cat]

I hide behind a hat a lot of times, or use concealers so I do feel like I'm hiding from my friends in a sense, but you got to do what works for you at the end of the day, and concealers make me feel a little better at times around my friends, I just hope they don't notice lol!

what type of hat do you wear in the summer/hot weather?

 

[DannyBoyy]

I wish i had a hat now my head is freezing in this weather i have a cap but not a big fan of them im thinking about getting flat caps i love those hats.

 

[Quantum Cat]

blimey you're up late danny. Don't you have a wooly hat? They're great in cold weather.

in hot weather I'm looking for a hat that doesn't look chavvy or unsophisticated (like a baseball cap) - but I also don't want a hat that looks uncool (the type that old people wear)

Topman only seems to do those types of hat

 

[DannyBoyy]

blimey you're up late danny. Don't you have a wooly hat? They're great in cold weather.

in hot weather I'm looking for a hat that doesn't look chavvy or unsophisticated (like a baseball cap) - but I also don't want a hat that looks uncool (the type that old people wear)

Topman only seems to do those types of hat

Yeah i know cant sleep just one off those nights and i do have a type off wooly hat but i dont like the way it looks on me i just wear my hoody but i been thinking about getting a hat to look more stylish i suppose.

 

[Quantum Cat]

I often wear hoodies so I can cover my head/hair - but people assume I'm a thug then

 

[slipy]

Chances are for guys like uncomfortable and slipy, if they had norwood -2, girls still wouldn't like them. Its a typical self fufilling prophecy for young guys to blame all their struggles on hair loss when in reality, hair would really do nothing but make them feel better about themselves, nobody else would like them more.

you're darn right, looking normal would make me feel better about myself and take this excruciating anxiety away. that's what is important and not whether some douche baggy people like me more or not.

 

[pidda]

I been a shut-in lately but mainly because I always been like that haha

 

[Exodus2011]

i'm a shut in and im also a hat prisoner

 

[Quantum Cat]

i'm a shut in and im also a hat prisoner

what type of hat?

 

[ABJac]

you're darn right, looking normal would make me feel better about myself and take this excruciating anxiety away. that's what is important and not whether some douche baggy people like me more or not.

If you don't care about what other people think, what is the genesis of the anxiety? Stop lying to yourself, you care so much about your appearance, you come on these forums and drone on with the most depressing and self-deprecating **** in the world.

 

[DannyBoyy]

If you don't care about what other people think, what is the genesis of the anxiety? Stop lying to yourself, you care so much about your appearance, you come on these forums and drone on with the most depressing and self-deprecating **** in the world.

+1

 

[slipy]

of course i care about my appearence, i have stated this multiple times and i never denied it. i want to look good (or at least acceptable) for myself, not for others.

also not wanting to be automatically singled out on the ground of messed up appearence is hardly the same as wanting to be loved and liked by everyone, see the difference?

wth, seriously?

 

[Exodus2011]

what type of hat?

i wear a basic baseball cap

makes me feel like im at a baseball game/country boy (especially while stoned)

then i can get the nice country girls (not, we all know they hate men with hair loss)

 

[meetjoeblack]

I lost family in a drunk driving accident. I battled acne my whole following puberty until accutane. Hairloss followed. I've been banned on a few sites cause nobody could possibly be this bad off. I started working out 3x a wk, eating a nutritious diet, doing cold approach, reading stuff to shape my mind, meditation, yoga, and working on love which is essentially self acceptance. I started dating again. Much of our suffering is and has always been self perpetuated.