Hair is just one part of the equation.

worldlyman

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Just got done reading some Asian issue blogs, and man...

Not to make light what you guys go through with your issue but a forum like this has put some things in perspective for me. Probably sound like a broken record here in this forum but...

Just because a guy "has hair" doesn't mean squat in certain societal contexts.

Especially in a white or Caucasian-dominant society like the USA. We Asians and Asian-descent Americans are looked down upon when we don't fit the typical role model stereotypes which are set up for us. I grew up here, and make scant observations of US pop media.

So guess what that was like (when I was young and single) looking through the dating ads back in the day, just to glance at what women wanted in general.

Almost 90%, I'd say, of Asian women wanted a "SWM." I almost never noted anything that hair was a requirement.

About 70% of white women specified they wanted a "SWM." Hardly ever noticed requirements about a guy having hair.

(Latinas and African-American women most of the time seemed to prefer men of their own demographic.)

Just think, when you are in your 20s, still in the hunt, and you deal with that mindset of American women and chicks, of what they wanted in a guy, on the surface? That left me out because I am an Asian guy. Not much market for that, evidently, even for an Asian guy that has "hair."

So the societal condition is, being white is very much a basic requirement. Hair, not even trotted out to the same degree. I'm sure there's a preference for it by girls...but then they like different things or combination of: cars, money, muscles, status, 6 pack, jaw line and such.

All that you saw (perhaps still do) on those fledgling "reality TV" dating shows were Asian and white girls going out with white guys. I think I saw an Asian guy once back in the 90s on one of those blind date shows, on a date with an Asian girl...

You feel victimized or marginalized for not having hair? How about feeling the same for not being of the dominant race, hair or not?

Sure, there were girls that would show an interest in me in my time growing up. But I had that complex that I would be surprised by some of that positive attention as a teen and very young adult. And it was hard to deal with.

Eventually as I got older, I came to realize that yeah, I may be brown-skinned...but I ain't a bad looking fellow...brown, white, black, hairy, bald or what. If I wanted to mack on some white girls or Asian girls or Latinas or whatever, I was going to do it come hell or high water.

Yeah, there are those white women who still fear me in this (still) white-dominated US society when I might pass them by in public...but so what? If I feel like flirting with girls when the feeling is there...some will flirt right back. (My wife gets mad when she notices some of that, though I tend to do it when she's not around. All in good fun.)

I may be 43. I may be a brown bastard...but life isn't bad at all. Not bad at all. Could be better but...

I find it hard to believe that some grumps like Uncomfortable Man, judging by his avatar, who have better looks than me are that bitter. You know, many, many US women much prefer that hair-free sly look over hairy ethnic guys like me. Ever read those other forums where the females air their views on the "hair" topic?

:bravo:
 

HairPieceMan

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obviously you dont know what the true problem with hairloss is if the only problem you see it as is with girls.

there is actually a deep phycoligcal problem with the medical condition, it can drive people to severe depression, social exclusion and even suicide.

i find it offensive you compare it to havnig a certain type of car, or being a certain race type.
 

John979

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HairPieceMan;

Evidence suggest that you have this backwards. Men are not depressed because they are bald; rather, they are bald because they are depressed.

male pattern baldness is associated with a host of medical problems, almost all of those being inflammatory related. Thus, in this model, hair loss is a symptom of a greater auto-imune problem that includes depression.
 

LooseItAll

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I agree to some degree with worldlyman :shock:

i find it offensive you compare it to havnig a certain type of car, or being a certain race type.

Actually as far as race goes this is pretty similar. It is all about conforming and when you do not belong to the dominant race in your area it makes you stand out. If 90% of 25 year old males around you were bald do you think you would care about your horseshoe? Nope. Doyou think you would care if baldness was considered super sexy and masculine, and guys with full heads of hair were seen as more femine? Nope. You care about it because others do not have it + it places you at a disadvantage in certain aspects of life. Worldly man being asian had to go through the same thing.
 

uncomfortable man

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Being bald is seen as a social faux pau (sp?), being philipino is not.
 

uncomfortable man

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JohnNYC said:
HairPieceMan;

Evidence suggest that you have this backwards. Men are not depressed because they are bald; rather, they are bald because they are depressed.

male pattern baldness is associated with a host of medical problems, almost all of those being inflammatory related. Thus, in this model, hair loss is a symptom of a greater auto-imune problem that includes depression.

Oh boy, sounds like you have this whole male pattern baldness thing figured out johnyc. When can we expect a cure from you? Or do I just have to smile to get all my hair back?
 
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