baldingguy28
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I know that there are still people out there who have it worse than I do but tell me that this isn't messed up and I haven't been cursed with everything. First off, I'm 28 years old. I am a combination of Ukrainian, German and Slovak which sucks and I've always had people tell me that I look "very different". I'm 5'8" 185 lbs (muscle not fat because I work out and run 3 times per week), balding, blue eyes, eyesight getting worse and I'm always told that I have a "babyface" (which I still had even when I was 40 lbs lighter and it sucks). I have never had a girlfriend in my life but it isn't for a lack of effort. I've always been told that I'm a cool person but women have never been attracted to me as more than a friend. I was picked on throughout high school because of my appearance.
In my first year of college I began losing my hair which was really devastating. I ended up wearing a hairpiece for a short time, tried the rogaine and propecia as well but to not much avail. Naturally I became depressed and was on antidepressants on and off throughout college and I even had to drop out for a year. All I ever wanted was to fit in and date just like everyone else and because I had a problem fitting in I became very depressed. I started out college on the right track majoring in Computer Science but I struggled at the beginning and my mind became so screwed up that my mother ended up picking my major (Sociology) and I barely made it out of college but I did graduate with my degree.
Once I graduated college, it was tough for me to find a job because a Sociology degree obviously doesn't carry much weight. I ended up finding a job with a major telecommunications company though and I was there for over 2 years. I was still self-conscious about my hairloss because women weren't attracted to me etc when I had heard from a friend at the company that the boyfriend of the girl sitting across from me who worked on another floor had seen me one day when he stopped by to visit her and had asked his girlfriend "Who is that bald f***** sitting across from you? Naturally when I heard this, I totally lost it and did something that I regret to this day. I know that I handled the situation totally wrong but think about what I mentioned that I have gone through. I didn't want to say anything out loud or tell a supervisor because I didn't want anyone to find out about it because it was embarrassing so I emailed his girlfriend telling her that I heard that her boyfriend had said something about me and that I would confront him and kick his *** when I saw him. I wasn't surprised that she went to HR without telling me and I was later let go for "threatening violence in the workplace". I didn't even bother appealing it because I didn't even want to work there anymore.
I don't know if it was irony or what but about a week after I was let go, my father was diagnosed with cancer. I had mixed emotions because my father and I never have really gotten along and he is the one that I inherited my hairloss from. He has always been verbally abusive toward me and never has respected me. He served in the Army btw too and he is Ukrainian. I get the old "to get respect, you have to earn respect" line like I was in the military or something. When I graduated college, that still wasn't enough. He answered with: "Now let's see what kind of job you get". I also have a brother who is 20 years old. Of course he is already 6" tall and has all of his hair so he gets more respect from people than I ever have. When we have gotten together with family, I get the old: "He may be taller but you'll always be the oldest" crap. He gets a ton of attention from women telling him that he is "hot" so naturally he walks around like he has the world by the balls and is cocky as all hell. He has a hot girlfriend who calls him all the time, he doesn't even have to bother calling her first so of course he is confident with himself. I would be happy for him if it wasn't for the fact that he says things to me like: "I'm going to do better in school and make more money than you ever did" and "Do you want me to give you some advice on women?". He probably will make more money and have an easier time because if you are tall with all of your hair you are obviously going to be viewed more favorably. It is humiliating for me because I'm supposed to be the older brother setting the example for him.
It is now over a year later and I have struggled to find a good job since. I have worked at several temp jobs that were poor fits for me and I have been unemployed now for almost 4 months. I have taken a lot of verbal abuse from my family and they tell me that my appearance is just a "crutch" for me not to get on with my life and that there are millions of bald people out there. I've been called an "educated failure" because I haven't been able to find a good job since my last one. I would never kill myself but I am at the lowest point that I've ever felt in my life. I've been down the doctor route and I don't want to go back and take meds again because I've been down that road before. I know what I need and have always lacked in my life and that is a physical relationship and companionship. I understand how people can get depressed and where "mental problems" stem from now. I was always an even keeled guy with nothing wrong with me on the inside, it was the outside that has always done me in. Its funny how many of the real f*cked up people on the inside end up tall, with a full head of hair and as winners in life while solid people on the inside like many of use end up as losers because of what we look like on the outside. All society gives a crap about now is appearance and it is only getting worse. I would like to live and not take the easy way out and kill myself like some other people. Is there any advice that you can offer me?
In my first year of college I began losing my hair which was really devastating. I ended up wearing a hairpiece for a short time, tried the rogaine and propecia as well but to not much avail. Naturally I became depressed and was on antidepressants on and off throughout college and I even had to drop out for a year. All I ever wanted was to fit in and date just like everyone else and because I had a problem fitting in I became very depressed. I started out college on the right track majoring in Computer Science but I struggled at the beginning and my mind became so screwed up that my mother ended up picking my major (Sociology) and I barely made it out of college but I did graduate with my degree.
Once I graduated college, it was tough for me to find a job because a Sociology degree obviously doesn't carry much weight. I ended up finding a job with a major telecommunications company though and I was there for over 2 years. I was still self-conscious about my hairloss because women weren't attracted to me etc when I had heard from a friend at the company that the boyfriend of the girl sitting across from me who worked on another floor had seen me one day when he stopped by to visit her and had asked his girlfriend "Who is that bald f***** sitting across from you? Naturally when I heard this, I totally lost it and did something that I regret to this day. I know that I handled the situation totally wrong but think about what I mentioned that I have gone through. I didn't want to say anything out loud or tell a supervisor because I didn't want anyone to find out about it because it was embarrassing so I emailed his girlfriend telling her that I heard that her boyfriend had said something about me and that I would confront him and kick his *** when I saw him. I wasn't surprised that she went to HR without telling me and I was later let go for "threatening violence in the workplace". I didn't even bother appealing it because I didn't even want to work there anymore.
I don't know if it was irony or what but about a week after I was let go, my father was diagnosed with cancer. I had mixed emotions because my father and I never have really gotten along and he is the one that I inherited my hairloss from. He has always been verbally abusive toward me and never has respected me. He served in the Army btw too and he is Ukrainian. I get the old "to get respect, you have to earn respect" line like I was in the military or something. When I graduated college, that still wasn't enough. He answered with: "Now let's see what kind of job you get". I also have a brother who is 20 years old. Of course he is already 6" tall and has all of his hair so he gets more respect from people than I ever have. When we have gotten together with family, I get the old: "He may be taller but you'll always be the oldest" crap. He gets a ton of attention from women telling him that he is "hot" so naturally he walks around like he has the world by the balls and is cocky as all hell. He has a hot girlfriend who calls him all the time, he doesn't even have to bother calling her first so of course he is confident with himself. I would be happy for him if it wasn't for the fact that he says things to me like: "I'm going to do better in school and make more money than you ever did" and "Do you want me to give you some advice on women?". He probably will make more money and have an easier time because if you are tall with all of your hair you are obviously going to be viewed more favorably. It is humiliating for me because I'm supposed to be the older brother setting the example for him.
It is now over a year later and I have struggled to find a good job since. I have worked at several temp jobs that were poor fits for me and I have been unemployed now for almost 4 months. I have taken a lot of verbal abuse from my family and they tell me that my appearance is just a "crutch" for me not to get on with my life and that there are millions of bald people out there. I've been called an "educated failure" because I haven't been able to find a good job since my last one. I would never kill myself but I am at the lowest point that I've ever felt in my life. I've been down the doctor route and I don't want to go back and take meds again because I've been down that road before. I know what I need and have always lacked in my life and that is a physical relationship and companionship. I understand how people can get depressed and where "mental problems" stem from now. I was always an even keeled guy with nothing wrong with me on the inside, it was the outside that has always done me in. Its funny how many of the real f*cked up people on the inside end up tall, with a full head of hair and as winners in life while solid people on the inside like many of use end up as losers because of what we look like on the outside. All society gives a crap about now is appearance and it is only getting worse. I would like to live and not take the easy way out and kill myself like some other people. Is there any advice that you can offer me?
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