Hello guys.My name is John and this is me opening my heart to the whole forum like i haven't done to my closest friends.Somehow i feel you guys will feel me better than any other person around me irl,so i would really appreciate your honest opinions and time after you read this.It'sna be big tho.Sorry for that!
Long story short I started losing my hair drastically(not just slowly slowly),really early on at my age of 22.I had a full head of beautiful mid/curly dark hair(like most of you in here when young i guess
).6.1 feet,muscular,nice dark characteristics,decent face,nothing special tho.
Do not rush to call me a narcissist or a douchebag when i say that i was a fairly good looking teen.I may had 99 problems,girls was not one of them.I never had to try for the girl i wanted.I was always aiming high,and most of the time they were approaching me instead,or they were sending their friends to come and hook me up with them.Recognition and respect from males was obvious and kinda everything in life was achievable in my eyes.Idk if it was just my hair/looks,the testosterone in my blood or my confidence that helped but i had a very high esteem.
All these obviously started to faint by the years.The most hair i was losing,the more my confidence was flying away.Young people are immature and mean and they will make fun of you when you lose a very strong trait of your looks.That did not help,but it's not that it put me down either.I would still get girls tbh,but i could definitely notice that i was changing 'leagues'.From hitting girls who were looking 8s and 9s,i dropped to 7.Not a big problem really.Whatever..
Until one day i decided to embrace baldness after my hair started to look like the Gollum's from The lord of the Rings movie and i wet shaved my head.
I hated it!My head looks literally like an egg.I have a very pale skin which make its look even worse.Like the white eggs they selling,not even the free run one's that look brown.(i wish i had a brown skin tone).Anyway.My parents loved it.Ofc..my dad is bald af since he was 20 and my mom will never say that i look ugly.I look like sh*t tho.I dont have a good jawline or chin so i grew a beard.Thank god i have a dense thick beard,and i can make my face look more manly,but i could not see my face in the mirror with a bald head that looks like an egg,and shows the horseshoe effect even after i wet shave it.
Do not get me wrong.There are beautiful bald men out there(not only hollywood stars,but any man with decent face, a strong jawline and a big chin can look good bald,but not me.I dont have these features.Plus i personally find the upside down effect of having hair on face and show only skin on head really unattractive.I will not mention about the sunny days that the shine reflection on my head could cause car accidents.
Some of my friends actually liked it,some did not but they were polite about it.Some girls found it was sexy(but never slept with me after i shaved it...hmmm).The thing is i personally hated it with passion.Alopecia is a curse for me.If you are fat,you work out.If you have bad teeth,you put braces.Literally nowadays u can change almost anything u want in your appearance.I even saw videos of people doing exercises to increase their height and get taller and it can actually work.You can do absoulutely NOTHING to cure baldness tho and this is insane.
I am not stupid to waste tons of money to multiple hair transplants to achieve an average look either.I forgot to mention that i tried everything possible to cure it like all the fallen bald warriors did.Minoxidil,finasteride,crazy diets,oils,herbs,dermarolling,yoga,meditation,lasers.I lost all of my youth and my good years stressing,trying to restore my hair and my confidence.I was losing my jobs one after the other because i would wake up hating myself staying in bed thinking my life is done.I fked up my relationships with girls and generally lost myself.I was not feeling an alpha male anymore.I knew i was acting like a p*ssy and i was over dramatic,and that there are people that have cancer and they still smile and are successful in life,but call me weak,call me wtv you want,i just could not face society like this.
One day i woke up and said to myself:You better do something right now and change what you dont like drastically,or you will end up in the mental hospital.It was time to change my life.My parents moved to California from Canada the same year and i followed them.It was a nice opportunity to show up in a new city that noone knew me and i could show a new me to people.
So i ordered my first hair piece.I was 25yo by then.
It was a custom uts skin from Eric,here.It looked really nice,and natural.I was an amateur.I was watching videos on youtube how to cut it and style it.How to attach it and maintain it.I was watching them for 6 months before i order it.When i finished the cutting by myself,and wore it,i must say it looked awkward.For sure i did something wrong in my first attachment and took me 1 year to master it tbh.
But oh boy!It instantly took 10 years off me.Framed my face.Blended well with my dark beard.I was looking cute af,even if it was bad placed on my head.I will not hide how stressed and sceptical i was before leaving my house.I would walk out for the first time after years in my life with hair on my head and people there did not know me,so noone knew i was bald before.Felt fantastic!I still remember the feeling i had the first days.Priceless.Smiling like goofy literally all the time.
People around me loved it.Gave me compliments about my hair.Girls and boys!Started giving me nicknames at work as'sexy boy' and many times telling me i look like Sergio Ramos the football player.Specially summertime that i was getting darker.I started attracting females one after the other.I knew every time i was going out that i would come back with a girl back home.I started hitting the gym again and got bigger.I found a great job and made good money for 4 years.Got into a relationship with the prettiest exotic woman i have ever seen.She is Guyanese and i met her in a club.I approached her first and started talking and she told me that i look like a fkboy and that i am lucky she picked me because she had high standards(i wonder if she would ever look at me if i didnt have that hairpiece).She sounds cocky but she really has a golden heart.Eventually we broke up after 2 years because she was super jealous even if i was loyal and our fights ended up extreme,we could not get along anymore.
That breakup hit me hard..This is when the real depression kicked in..I went to Dominican republic by myself for 10 days after the breakup.To forget.I was getting attention from girls there too,even if i was looking sad,but i was not excited anymore.I was not happy or proud of myself.I realized something about myself.Something sad but it was true..
All these years that i am wearing a hair piece,i just present a 'fake' me to people.I remember i never had the balls to tell people i wear a hairpiece.I was so happy with the fake optical illusion i was seeing in the mirror that i started to believe i never really lost my hair.Thats not realistic tho.I remember noticing people looking at my hair lots of times.Special on bad hair days.Most prob many people knew already and avoided to mention so they dont make me feel bad.Even one day on of my coworkers who has nothing to do in life but criticise other people,came to me and said:i have a feeling your hair is not real.Can i check?I replied:you must be crazy.stop being weird,and i walked away...I was so hypnotized by my looks with the wig,that i didn't even care if he thought that i am wearing a wig or if he tells to other coworkers.I just continued my life pretending i have hair.Like nothing could take me out of this sweet dream and put me in reality.
So one day while im under then sun on the beach in Dominican republic,and i am sweating bullets,because its hot af,and my hairline starts losing bond and starts getting messy from the sweat,and i did a reattachment to the hairpiece,the night before,i started losing it!I asked myself:wtf are you doing John?This thing on your head is just a blanket to cover up your insecurities.Needs a lot of maintenance specially summertime,you have to buy a new one every 6-12 months,buy products for it,gives you irritated skin and everytime someone wants to touch my head i act like a psycho and tell them:noone touch my head!All of my relationships,all the girls wanted to play with my hair,but i never let them bc i was so insecure they will find out.I avoided so many activities and pool parties because of that and i started getting uncomfortable wearing it.And so many times i stayed home instead of going out because i was to lazy to reattach my hair system.I am almost 30yo and i hide behind a hair piece.Feels like i have lost identity and don't know who i really am anymore and people around me can feel that and theres always a touch of awkwardness when i meet new people lately.
And don't get me wrong.I don't blame the hair system.It looks great and Erick never fails to impress me.It was just me.I was not confident anymore wearing it.
So when i came back from vacs this summer,i took it off and i wet shaved my head,again.And i hated myself again bc of the way i looked.The real,bald,ugly me.And i havent gone out since then.Feels great isn't it
I tried so much to love myself the way i am and focus on the positive thing that i am still healthy and young and i have all life in front of me and being bald can not stop me.But i just can not.I am weak.I admit it.I will never digest the fact i can not have hair like the other normal male out there.It'st not fair that i can not do anything about it.For many people,hair is the last problem on earth,even if they are bald.Not for me.I already miss my hair piece tbh.
Tomorrow i have an consultation with a clinic that does SMP.
Yes i am that desperate.I wanna actually go and see how it looks in person because in pics and videos it looks too good to be true:
Im sure its gonna look fake in person,but oh well...
If i dont get sold by this treatment,i will either go back to wearing a wig until someone bless us with a cure for baldness or i will just die in misery.
What do you think guys?Any1 here can feel me?Am i being too dramatic?Am i just a weakling?What should i do?
Thanks in advance
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Long story short I started losing my hair drastically(not just slowly slowly),really early on at my age of 22.I had a full head of beautiful mid/curly dark hair(like most of you in here when young i guess
).6.1 feet,muscular,nice dark characteristics,decent face,nothing special tho.Do not rush to call me a narcissist or a douchebag when i say that i was a fairly good looking teen.I may had 99 problems,girls was not one of them.I never had to try for the girl i wanted.I was always aiming high,and most of the time they were approaching me instead,or they were sending their friends to come and hook me up with them.Recognition and respect from males was obvious and kinda everything in life was achievable in my eyes.Idk if it was just my hair/looks,the testosterone in my blood or my confidence that helped but i had a very high esteem.
All these obviously started to faint by the years.The most hair i was losing,the more my confidence was flying away.Young people are immature and mean and they will make fun of you when you lose a very strong trait of your looks.That did not help,but it's not that it put me down either.I would still get girls tbh,but i could definitely notice that i was changing 'leagues'.From hitting girls who were looking 8s and 9s,i dropped to 7.Not a big problem really.Whatever..
Until one day i decided to embrace baldness after my hair started to look like the Gollum's from The lord of the Rings movie and i wet shaved my head.
I hated it!My head looks literally like an egg.I have a very pale skin which make its look even worse.Like the white eggs they selling,not even the free run one's that look brown.(i wish i had a brown skin tone).Anyway.My parents loved it.Ofc..my dad is bald af since he was 20 and my mom will never say that i look ugly.I look like sh*t tho.I dont have a good jawline or chin so i grew a beard.Thank god i have a dense thick beard,and i can make my face look more manly,but i could not see my face in the mirror with a bald head that looks like an egg,and shows the horseshoe effect even after i wet shave it.
Do not get me wrong.There are beautiful bald men out there(not only hollywood stars,but any man with decent face, a strong jawline and a big chin can look good bald,but not me.I dont have these features.Plus i personally find the upside down effect of having hair on face and show only skin on head really unattractive.I will not mention about the sunny days that the shine reflection on my head could cause car accidents.
Some of my friends actually liked it,some did not but they were polite about it.Some girls found it was sexy(but never slept with me after i shaved it...hmmm).The thing is i personally hated it with passion.Alopecia is a curse for me.If you are fat,you work out.If you have bad teeth,you put braces.Literally nowadays u can change almost anything u want in your appearance.I even saw videos of people doing exercises to increase their height and get taller and it can actually work.You can do absoulutely NOTHING to cure baldness tho and this is insane.
I am not stupid to waste tons of money to multiple hair transplants to achieve an average look either.I forgot to mention that i tried everything possible to cure it like all the fallen bald warriors did.Minoxidil,finasteride,crazy diets,oils,herbs,dermarolling,yoga,meditation,lasers.I lost all of my youth and my good years stressing,trying to restore my hair and my confidence.I was losing my jobs one after the other because i would wake up hating myself staying in bed thinking my life is done.I fked up my relationships with girls and generally lost myself.I was not feeling an alpha male anymore.I knew i was acting like a p*ssy and i was over dramatic,and that there are people that have cancer and they still smile and are successful in life,but call me weak,call me wtv you want,i just could not face society like this.
One day i woke up and said to myself:You better do something right now and change what you dont like drastically,or you will end up in the mental hospital.It was time to change my life.My parents moved to California from Canada the same year and i followed them.It was a nice opportunity to show up in a new city that noone knew me and i could show a new me to people.
So i ordered my first hair piece.I was 25yo by then.
It was a custom uts skin from Eric,here.It looked really nice,and natural.I was an amateur.I was watching videos on youtube how to cut it and style it.How to attach it and maintain it.I was watching them for 6 months before i order it.When i finished the cutting by myself,and wore it,i must say it looked awkward.For sure i did something wrong in my first attachment and took me 1 year to master it tbh.
But oh boy!It instantly took 10 years off me.Framed my face.Blended well with my dark beard.I was looking cute af,even if it was bad placed on my head.I will not hide how stressed and sceptical i was before leaving my house.I would walk out for the first time after years in my life with hair on my head and people there did not know me,so noone knew i was bald before.Felt fantastic!I still remember the feeling i had the first days.Priceless.Smiling like goofy literally all the time.
People around me loved it.Gave me compliments about my hair.Girls and boys!Started giving me nicknames at work as'sexy boy' and many times telling me i look like Sergio Ramos the football player.Specially summertime that i was getting darker.I started attracting females one after the other.I knew every time i was going out that i would come back with a girl back home.I started hitting the gym again and got bigger.I found a great job and made good money for 4 years.Got into a relationship with the prettiest exotic woman i have ever seen.She is Guyanese and i met her in a club.I approached her first and started talking and she told me that i look like a fkboy and that i am lucky she picked me because she had high standards(i wonder if she would ever look at me if i didnt have that hairpiece).She sounds cocky but she really has a golden heart.Eventually we broke up after 2 years because she was super jealous even if i was loyal and our fights ended up extreme,we could not get along anymore.
That breakup hit me hard..This is when the real depression kicked in..I went to Dominican republic by myself for 10 days after the breakup.To forget.I was getting attention from girls there too,even if i was looking sad,but i was not excited anymore.I was not happy or proud of myself.I realized something about myself.Something sad but it was true..
All these years that i am wearing a hair piece,i just present a 'fake' me to people.I remember i never had the balls to tell people i wear a hairpiece.I was so happy with the fake optical illusion i was seeing in the mirror that i started to believe i never really lost my hair.Thats not realistic tho.I remember noticing people looking at my hair lots of times.Special on bad hair days.Most prob many people knew already and avoided to mention so they dont make me feel bad.Even one day on of my coworkers who has nothing to do in life but criticise other people,came to me and said:i have a feeling your hair is not real.Can i check?I replied:you must be crazy.stop being weird,and i walked away...I was so hypnotized by my looks with the wig,that i didn't even care if he thought that i am wearing a wig or if he tells to other coworkers.I just continued my life pretending i have hair.Like nothing could take me out of this sweet dream and put me in reality.
So one day while im under then sun on the beach in Dominican republic,and i am sweating bullets,because its hot af,and my hairline starts losing bond and starts getting messy from the sweat,and i did a reattachment to the hairpiece,the night before,i started losing it!I asked myself:wtf are you doing John?This thing on your head is just a blanket to cover up your insecurities.Needs a lot of maintenance specially summertime,you have to buy a new one every 6-12 months,buy products for it,gives you irritated skin and everytime someone wants to touch my head i act like a psycho and tell them:noone touch my head!All of my relationships,all the girls wanted to play with my hair,but i never let them bc i was so insecure they will find out.I avoided so many activities and pool parties because of that and i started getting uncomfortable wearing it.And so many times i stayed home instead of going out because i was to lazy to reattach my hair system.I am almost 30yo and i hide behind a hair piece.Feels like i have lost identity and don't know who i really am anymore and people around me can feel that and theres always a touch of awkwardness when i meet new people lately.
And don't get me wrong.I don't blame the hair system.It looks great and Erick never fails to impress me.It was just me.I was not confident anymore wearing it.
So when i came back from vacs this summer,i took it off and i wet shaved my head,again.And i hated myself again bc of the way i looked.The real,bald,ugly me.And i havent gone out since then
.Feels great isn't it I tried so much to love myself the way i am and focus on the positive thing that i am still healthy and young and i have all life in front of me and being bald can not stop me.But i just can not.I am weak.I admit it.I will never digest the fact i can not have hair like the other normal male out there.It'st not fair that i can not do anything about it.For many people,hair is the last problem on earth,even if they are bald.Not for me.I already miss my hair piece tbh.
Tomorrow i have an consultation with a clinic that does SMP.
Yes i am that desperate.I wanna actually go and see how it looks in person because in pics and videos it looks too good to be true:
Im sure its gonna look fake in person,but oh well...
If i dont get sold by this treatment,i will either go back to wearing a wig until someone bless us with a cure for baldness or i will just die in misery.
What do you think guys?Any1 here can feel me?Am i being too dramatic?Am i just a weakling?What should i do?
Thanks in advance
Quote
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Pin Topic