- Reaction score
- 569
Hair loss has taken my life away. After I lived two miserable decades of social anxiety and autism, in my 24th year I met a woman who accepted me as I was. We were together and life was ecstatic; God decided that this was not permissible, and six months later my hair began to fall out aggressively. My confidence and happiness vanished, I turned to drugs, and my behavior destroyed the relationship.
Immediately after this, we both graduated and began our careers. Unable to accept these losses, I could not function properly and soon resigned from my job and became a vagabond for the next three years. There was no option for me but to return to academia, so now I am back in university, beginning a masters degree. The life situation seems decent, yet the misery is so overwhelming that despite my best efforts I cannot focus. At bottom, I do not want any of this. Most honestly I would like for this life to end.
No spiritual experience comes to me which might help me see something beyond the ego. In my dreams I am visited only by the same hideousness as in my waking life, and therefore cannot even be allowed a night of restful sleep. F there were a reliable and clean method of suicide available, I would end this tomorrow.
Immediately after this, we both graduated and began our careers. Unable to accept these losses, I could not function properly and soon resigned from my job and became a vagabond for the next three years. There was no option for me but to return to academia, so now I am back in university, beginning a masters degree. The life situation seems decent, yet the misery is so overwhelming that despite my best efforts I cannot focus. At bottom, I do not want any of this. Most honestly I would like for this life to end.
No spiritual experience comes to me which might help me see something beyond the ego. In my dreams I am visited only by the same hideousness as in my waking life, and therefore cannot even be allowed a night of restful sleep. F there were a reliable and clean method of suicide available, I would end this tomorrow.
