I smoke crack. I find that in the business world, passing the crack pipe around before important meetings is an excellent icebreaker and tends to keep the meetings short, concise, and utterly unproductive.
I also enjoy eating psychedelic mushrooms before airline flights, I highly recommend it. And heroine is great for taking the edge off of those stressful business presentations you have to make from time to time.
Apologies in advance to the PETA-types out there, but my hairloss regimen never really gave me results until I added in an annual goat sacrifice. Once a year I buy a goat and the two of us fly down to the Mayan temples at Teotihuacan in Mexico. I climb to the top and offer the goat to the gods of hair. I take a pint of blood from the goat and mix it with three pints of Minoxidil, and slather my head with it while I howl at the moon all night long. Phase two of the ritual is the pilgrimage to Cancun, an hour bus ride there and upon arrival the commencement of seven days of constant alcohol intoxication and sex with multiple partners. On day eight I fly home, refreshed and reinvigorated and ready to take on another year as a baldy. It's a very inspirational and personally refreshing ritual.
