Do phychiatrists/therapists work? Might need one.

[Gunnersup]

Have been severely depressed for about a year and a half now and I don't know what to do (not diagnosed). It's affecting my grades, sleep, and overall life of course. It's not necessarily my hairloss that's the cause of my depression.

Has anyone been to a therapist or doctor, and have they helped at all? I'll put my pride aside and actually go to one, but I'd like to know if they help

 

[It_is_over_for_nw7]

I tried this and no it won't help. You'll get the same 3 lines of advice over and over again

"You need to find ways to cope with balding"
"You have this belief that hair defines who you are which isn't true"
"You need to accept yourself for who you are"

All of these things are wrong and delusional. It's impossible to cope when the world treats you like trash. Your appearance defines you and bald is a very negative trait to your appearance and unfortunately defines you as "the bald guy." I can't accept myself when the world can't. Any rational human being will see themselves as flawed given the negative life experience.

I quit therapy after 5 months. The amount of money spent could've been on something better.

 

[Gunnersup]

I tried this and no it won't help. You'll get the same 3 lines of advice over and over again

"You need to find ways to cope with balding"
"You have this belief that hair defines who you are which isn't true"
"You need to accept yourself for who you are"

All of these things are wrong and delusional. It's impossible to cope when the world treats you like trash. Your appearance defines you and bald is a very negative trait to your appearance and unfortunately defines you as "the bald guy." I can't accept myself when the world can't. Any rational human being will see themselves as flawed given the negative life experience.

I quit therapy after 5 months. The amount of money spent could've been on something better.

f***, so it never gets better...

 

[It_is_over_for_nw7]

f***, so it never gets better...

Honestly I started smoking pot. Throughout college and high school I never did drugs as I thought they made you dumber. it was only until 28 where I realized despite having a good career, a house, healthy lifestyle, hobbies, etc. That I was still worth nothing to the opposite sex. I basically gave in and started smoking pot. It numbs the pain of dying alone.

 

[Gunnersup]

Honestly I started smoking pot. Throughout college and high school I never did drugs as I thought they made you dumber. it was only until 28 where I realized despite having a good career, a house, healthy lifestyle, hobbies, etc. That I was still worth nothing to the opposite sex. I basically gave in and started smoking pot. It numbs the pain of dying alone.

Yeah weed helps me so much. I smoke every weekend and it helps me disassociate from my body

 

[iCloud]

You just have to find a good one. I am seeing someone at the moment who I have a good connection with. She is young, and I feel very much at ease talking to her and I feel I can talk to her about anything. She will sometimes also tell me small things about herself, like that she also trained to be a hairdresser at one point, and that she wears hair extensions. (All in the context of me discussing my hair loss)

I saw another therapist before, but I stopped seeing her because we didn’t click and I did not trust her. She always addressed me very formally (never used my first name, always used formal pronouns), and this did not create an environment for me where I could be open or feel at ease.

She wanted me to come in every week (super expensive), and I initially did. But then at one point, when I told her well in advance during one of the sessions that I wanted to cancel an appointment because I was having exams that week and would have to study every evening, she became angry with me, and would not accept it. “It’s only one hour! How can you not have time??” . And she just did not accept my cancellation. After I had told her without any ambiguity that I would not come, she said when I left: “So, let me know via email this week whether you will come or not“.
I never went to see her any more.

 

[iCloud]

"You need to find ways to cope with balding"
"You have this belief that hair defines who you are which isn't true"
"You need to accept yourself for who you are"

My psychologist does not offer me those lines when we discuss hair loss (which we don’t always do, I’m not seeing her for hair loss, but for some other issues). I like that I can at least talk to someone about hair, treatments etc, I don‘t really discuss it with anyone else any more.

 

[justinbieberscombover]

Glad you are finally coming to realize that you have a mental issue. You are absolutely not healthy mentally. This might be hurtful to read but as a first step towards improving your well being you need to accept it.

Besides anxious and depressed you also come across as severely obsessive.

 

[doubleindemnity]

With my very limited experience with therapists, I am inclined to say that they do not work. They always make it clear that they can not help with your problems but only with your feelings. So they make it sound like therapy is just a form of coping. I could be wrong. I never got therapy because, when I was assessed, they always concluded that I had no depression or anxiety because I had no trouble sleeping, did not avoid difficult situations etc. etc. and was perfectly healthy physically.

That's what baldness does to you. You work as hard as you can to be the best that you can be, you be as positive as you can, following standard wellness advice (e.g. prioritize sleep, consider mindfulness, take time to relieve stress, exercise) and your life still ends up terrible. If that doesn't show that bald = subhuman, I don't know what does.

N.B. I've never had therapy, but only considered it. This post does not constitute medical advice.

 

[Gunnersup]

With my very limited experience with therapists, I am inclined to say that they do not work. They always make it clear that they can not help with your problems but only with your feelings. So they make it sound like therapy is just a form of coping. I could be wrong. I never got therapy because, when I was assessed, they always concluded that I had no depression or anxiety because I had no trouble sleeping, did not avoid difficult situations etc. etc. and was perfectly healthy physically.

That's what baldness does to you. You work as hard as you can to be the best that you can be, you be as positive as you can, following standard wellness advice (e.g. prioritize sleep, consider mindfulness, take time to relieve stress, exercise) and your life still ends up terrible. If that doesn't show that bald = subhuman, I don't know what does.

N.B. I've never had therapy, but only considered it. This post does not constitute medical advice.

It just means that looks matter, not necessarily baldness. Looks are everything in this world

 

[INT]

With my very limited experience with therapists, I am inclined to say that they do not work. They always make it clear that they can not help with your problems but only with your feelings. So they make it sound like therapy is just a form of coping. I could be wrong. I never got therapy because, when I was assessed, they always concluded that I had no depression or anxiety because I had no trouble sleeping, did not avoid difficult situations etc. etc. and was perfectly healthy physically.

That's what baldness does to you. You work as hard as you can to be the best that you can be, you be as positive as you can, following standard wellness advice (e.g. prioritize sleep, consider mindfulness, take time to relieve stress, exercise) and your life still ends up terrible. If that doesn't show that bald = subhuman, I don't know what does.

N.B. I've never had therapy, but only considered it. This post does not constitute medical advice.

As a therapist, I find it hilarious that on the internet, coping has become a negative word.

 

[Gunnersup]

As a therapist, I find it hilarious that on the internet, coping has become a negative word.

Because it's a refusal to see the world as it truly is

 

[INT]

Because it's a refusal to see the world as it truly is

No, that is the internet definition of it.

There are things you cannot change, but you change the way you look at things. If you focus on the things you cannot change and refuse to change your poin of view you will end up bitter, resentful, unhappy and alone, hating society, women, people who are succesful and happy, but calling yourself ReD PiLlEd BrAh, like that is some kind of f*****g achievement.
The internet (and this forum) is already full of those.

 

[TestTubeBaby]

No, that is the internet definition of it.

There are things you cannot change, but you change the way you look at things. If you focus on the things you cannot change and refuse to change your poin of view you will end up bitter, resentful, unhappy and alone, hating society, women, people who are succesful and happy, but calling yourself ReD PiLlEd BrAh, like that is some kind of f*****g achievement.
The internet (and this forum) is already full of those.

Therapy(for me) is just a way to let it all out and have a deep conversation with someone. It will never change my point of view on certain things.
It is cope, and it will always be cope (to me). I'm not saying that It doesn't work for everyone, but some of us are just like that and you can't change it.

I guess that its good that I only hate myself, not others.

 

[doubleindemnity]

No, that is the internet definition of it.

There are things you cannot change, but you change the way you look at things. If you focus on the things you cannot change and refuse to change your poin of view you will end up bitter, resentful, unhappy and alone, hating society, women, people who are succesful and happy, but calling yourself ReD PiLlEd BrAh, like that is some kind of f*****g achievement.
The internet (and this forum) is already full of those.

But what about people who actually want to achieve specific things rather than feel good about what they have? It seems to me that therapy can't help them. That's pretty much what the therapist told me, or my interpretation of it, and what led me to say no to therapy.

 

[justinbieberscombover]

No, that is the internet definition of it.

There are things you cannot change, but you change the way you look at things. If you focus on the things you cannot change and refuse to change your poin of view you will end up bitter, resentful, unhappy and alone, hating society, women, people who are succesful and happy, but calling yourself ReD PiLlEd BrAh, like that is some kind of f*****g achievement.
The internet (and this forum) is already full of those.

Not gonna lie the Internet has made people weak. Look at OP a teenage kid who grew up with the Internet. He's a victim. Mentally weak as hell. Completely lacks a spine and a personality of his own. Those kids would have a hard time growing up in the 90's-00's back when bullying was more prevalent.

 

[iCloud]

Therapy is not going to solve your problems, but therapy can offer new insights, can make you reflect on your situation. I have still not managed to completely change the situation that I would like to leave behind me, so if you look at it from a problem-solving perspective, then no, therapy is not working for me , yet I have the feeling it is making me a little bit stronger, and that I am progressing albeit it very slowly.

 

[INT]

But what about people who actually want to achieve specific things rather than feel good about what they have? It seems to me that therapy can't help them. That's pretty much what the therapist told me, or my interpretation of it, and what led me to say no to therapy.

I would say that it is never good to aim at very specific things. Happiness is not a checklist, but much more a mindset. Aiming for specific things creates unhealthy attachments and the more specific the thing you aim for is, the higher the likelihood that you will miss. And then what?
If I remember correctly, the main thing you wanted in life was to get children, right?

 

[Gunnersup]

Not gonna lie the Internet has made people weak. Look at OP a teenage kid who grew up with the Internet. He's a victim. Mentally weak as hell. Completely lacks a spine and a personality of his own. Those kids would have a hard time growing up in the 90's-00's back when bullying was more prevalent.

Trust me I got bullied a f*** ton in school. Then junior year I shot up to 6'2 and people stopped messing with me.

 

[justinbieberscombover]

Trust me I got bullied a f*** ton in school. Then junior year I shot up to 6'2 and people stopped messing with me.

Why do you post like a generic incel then? You really sound like a robot and bring nothing new and interesting to the table. Just before you we had @goku_black who spammed the forum with similar content and mindset. Hair loss is one thing but reducing your entire existence to being a helpless obsessive/depressed weirdo who "hates females" is so boring.