Disclosing of concealor to girlfriend, wife??

[decadeoflosing]

Hello..

I am curious to know from those who use any concealor ie Toppik, Couvre, Dermmatch, Nano etc...how did you disclose this to your partner (if you have one).

If you are single, then its fine...no need to disclose...you can always ask the girl not to touch hair ...but if you have gone to marry your girlfriend of if she is living with you..how have you disclosed.

Any stories on her reaction seeing you without your concealor?

 

[GeminiX]

Does your girlfriend / wife use cosmetics?

 

[s.a.f]

Does your girlfriend / wife use cosmetics?

Hardly the same thing. She also wears stockings, panties and a bra but I doubt she'd be accepting of him wearing it.
Either way revealing it will not be easy, and is hardly likely to gain him any respect in her eyes.

 

[do it2]

I just told mine (Nanogen). "Nanoids" as she now calls them. Didn't seem to care. That was 2 years ago.

 

[GeminiX]

Does your girlfriend / wife use cosmetics?

Hardly the same thing. She also wears stockings, panties and a bra but I doubt she'd be accepting of him wearing it.
Either way revealing it will not be easy, and is hardly likely to gain him any respect in her eyes.

Woha there SAF, are you implying that using concealer and "coming out" about it is comparable to coming out about being a transvestite?

Honestly SAF, sometimes I think you respond to my posts *just* for the sake of disagreeing with me on some point or other, you're reading way too much into my original reply.

From my *personal* experience, none of the people (guys and girls) I told about using Nanogen cared a monkeys about it.

 

[s.a.f]

It was sarcasm, but yeah telling a woman that you wear concealer on your head is hardly likely to be recieved as anything other than a disapointment. Obviously if she knows you really well like a wife or fiancee and knows about your hairloss issues already then it wont be so bad. But if its someone who you've only just hooked up with its going to be a negative response.
I'm not saying it would break a relationship but its not going to be a positive thing. So acting like every girl would see totally cool about it - nothing to worry about, may be encouraging but not strictly true.

What woman would like to know that her man wears uses cosmetics to hide the fact that he's balding it shows both insecurity and vanity. Sure for some it wont really be a big deal but to others it would be about as attractive as finding out your man has a bedwetting problem!

For some women its a big deal that their man is masculine and confident for others its not - it just depends on the individual girl.
A case in point could be the transvestite scenario, there are many married transvetites who's partners know about it and accept it, whilst on the other hands there are many women for who finding their husband dressed up in their clothes would be instant grounds for divorce.
Either way I'm sure its something that all the guys who use it dread.
A closely related incedent is I can remember Spex telling me the hardest thing hes ever had to do was the day he admitted to his wife that he'd had a hair transplant, and he's a guy who is one of the luckiest you'll ever meet in terms of how natural his looks.

 

[GeminiX]

*shrug*

Try as I do, I simply can't relate with the overwhelming negativity from some posters here.

Sure, some people might have a hard time with it, but just as many won't; it will be as big a deal as you let it. It's just a product one uses to feel better about oneself, it's hardly a fetish or condition.

If you chose to associate with judgemental people, or allow yourself to marry someone who is going to have an issue with Nanogen, I suspect you will have much bigger issues to deal with.

I'll say it again *MY* experience was NO PROBLEM AT ALL (this is not the opinion of someone I met of off the interwebs), your mileage may vary. Even if your partner does have an issue with it, it's probably not going to lead to divorce (and if it does, there are certainly going to be other issues there).

Seriously guys, it's 2010.

 

[s.a.f]

*sigh* I did'nt say it was going to lead to divorce, but the fact is you can understand a young guy being insecure about telling a woman who's opinion of him matters (alot) that he is using something like this.
You seem to believe that theres no negativity about anything in life but the fact is people do care how others percieve them. Its human nature, no one likes to reveal their little secrets, their flaws and weaknesses.
I'm pretty sure that for most concealer users its kept a secret you'd hardly go around advertising the fact. Thats the main difference between men and women its much more acceptable for a woman to use beauty/enhancing products.
If people did'nt have these insecurities then the product itself would'nt exist.

 

[GeminiX]

You seem to believe that theres no negativity about anything in life

Really?

So despite me constantly referencing people's negativity, I somehow give the impression it does not exist?

You have read my posts before right?

I face negative bullshit *EVERY SINGE DAY OF MY LIFE*, guess what, I get past it, I'm better than that.

Whatever, I give up; this will just become one of those Möbius threads.

 

[decadeoflosing]

Does your girlfriend / wife use cosmetics?

she does...but every girl uses that...
not every guy uses concealor for hairloss...

 

[decadeoflosing]

I just told mine (Nanogen). "Nanoids" as she now calls them. Didn't seem to care. That was 2 years ago.

so how did she react seeing you first time without nanogen? If she dint care..surely your hairloss is not that bad

 

[decadeoflosing]

*shrug*

Try as I do, I simply can't relate with the overwhelming negativity from some posters here.

Sure, some people might have a hard time with it, but just as many won't; it will be as big a deal as you let it. It's just a product one uses to feel better about oneself, it's hardly a fetish or condition.

If you chose to associate with judgemental people, or allow yourself to marry someone who is going to have an issue with Nanogen, I suspect you will have much bigger issues to deal with.

I'll say it again *MY* experience was NO PROBLEM AT ALL (this is not the opinion of someone I met of off the interwebs), your mileage may vary. Even if your partner does have an issue with it, it's probably not going to lead to divorce (and if it does, there are certainly going to be other issues there).

Seriously guys, it's 2010.

Great post. Thanks for your words... :agree:

 

[thetodd]

I look at it this way. Women wear high heels to make themselves seem taller, makeup to appear prettier, push up bras to make their boobs look bigger, etc,. If they're allowed to do a multitude of things to improve their appearance (or conceal what they think are their flaws), why shouldn't guys be allowed to do at least one thing to improve our looks? At some point you have to reveal the truth to them, but do they ever say to us, "To be honest, I'm not really this tall, my tits aren't nearly as big as they look with this wonder bra on, and I'm a bit plain without all this makeup"? Now, if you're nearly bald and use a whole bottle of toppik to cover up every day, you should probably tell her about that sooner than later, but if you're just adding a little something to cover than thinning area or bald spot, don't feel like you need to make that you're opening line when striking up a conversation with some new girl. When it comes to our wives, men aren't the only ones who deterioriate with age. If my wifes breasts and buttocks are dragging the ground when she's in her fifties, I'm not going to leave her, so given that, she should be able to deal with my partially shiny dome.

 

[do it2]

She didn't react as such. Asked what the hell the stuff was and i wasn't paranoid about using it. When I showered i'd just let my hair dry and if I wan'st leavinbg the house i'd wouldn't bother applying it. My crown is thin and i guess she never reallt paid that much attention. She knows my hair was thinning so probably never questioned it. I'm easily a NW3 or 4 now I would guess.

I just told mine (Nanogen). "Nanoids" as she now calls them. Didn't seem to care. That was 2 years ago.

so how did she react seeing you first time without nanogen? If she dint care..surely your hairloss is not that bad

 

[goener]

it's the same with lenses instead of glasses or shoes with insoles that make you look taller. it's great for dating and parties but then at some point you start to develop a serious relationship with a girl. i think that if there is not much difference between before and after appearance then she won't care much. it's not like you go to work looking as NW1.5 and go to sleep with her looking like NW6

 

[s.a.f]

Theres less stigma with contact lenses because they serve a practical function. But yeah the key here is that the more close/longterm the relationship the easier it is to disclose it. Like you can act like a slob when you've been married for a while but its probably not a good idea to do it at the start of a relationship.

 

[decadeoflosing]

Thanks for the replies guys. I think less about hairloss on weekdays and saturdays as I am using Toppik. However on Sundays, when I am alone, I remember the harsh reality when i shampoo my hair and DONT use toppik. It looks horrible. :sobbing: