Deep Impact

[Vanitykills]

Hey folks,

I'm 40.

I've been a lurker on these forums for the past year, and I've decided that maybe it's time to share my experience with regard to the impact of hairloss.
Like the majority of men on here, my hair defined who I was (the crowning glory, as they say). We're all a bit shallow at that age or earlier, we care about looks immensely. The pressure that comes with it, is just absurd.

I was around 23 when it became apparent that I was losing it (I do realise some of you were even earlier).
A crowd of us would go round the local pubs and I remember a remark from a much older bloke saying, 'Hey, that's how it started with me!' pointing at some irregular hairs on my hairline. Needless to say I was horrified, and put on a front like I wasn't affected by his comment.

I've been on the recieving end of a few bald jokes from time to time. I've found the best way to deal with it, is to hit them right back with an equally hurtful personal jibe. f*** them! If they're gonna be a prick, ditto.
With each passing year, between 23-30, my hair started to look more and more like sh*t. I never treated the hairloss as that kind of information was hard to find mid 90s, the internet wasn't established then of course. It's so easy now to find the information you need and buy treatment straight to the front door.

Looking back the only action you could take, if the product was available, was to nervously walk in to a store, much like the embarrassment of buying condoms from some sniggering bird in the chemist.
I didn't know what the hell was going on. I just became hugely insecure and obsessed about it, and before that I was incredibly confident. I don't care who you are, you are seriously rocked by it.

Fast forward to now; I haven't got much left on my head, think slightly more than Jason Statham. And let me tell you, hairloss hurt then and it hurts just as much now. It never really gets easier, you just deal with better 'cos you're expected to at 40.
The fact is You will always have that mental image of when you had loads of hair, perhaps even too much, loading it up with styling gel etc. preparing for night ahead.

I'll leave you with this: just recently an old mate of my dad who is approx 70, wears a cap and he revealed to my dad that he's never seen without it 'cos he's ashamed of his bald head. Go figure. It will be with you always.

Now. the point of all this is? To offer some realism, I suppose. Maybe gain some perspective, which is hard I know.
I've had to develop other aspects of my personality; for better or worse.

Btw. If a pill came out in the future that restored my hair to that of my youth. I'd bite the f****r's hand off. I'd love to have my rockstar hair back.

Peace out.

 

[TravisB]

Wow, if even old guys can't cope with this sh*t, then what a balding 21 old guy like me can.

 

[slipy]

as you notice he's not some older guy just starting to go bald. he was balding young just like most of us are now. an old guy at the beginning stages of hair loss would possibly have different feelings.

 

[Primo]

The fact is You will always have that mental image of when you had loads of hair, perhaps even too much, loading it up with styling gel etc. preparing for night ahead.

That depends man, for some of us here we started losing our hair earlier than 23, i.e. in teens 17/18 and by the time we were old enough to be going out drinking and meeting girls our hair was already compromised, some more than others obviously.

Personally, even as an 18 year old I never enjoyed styling my hair before a night out and certainly never had "too much", it was always a case of trying to hide my hairline and living in constant fear that other teens would notice and out me in public.

This guy's story sounds remarkably similar to Uncomfortable Man, he looked perfect until the age of 23 and probably didn't even have to try when picking up girls, then suddenly male pattern baldness kicked in at 23 and rocked his world.

I think the earlier you catch it the easier it is to deal with, assuming your not one of those guys who goes from NW1-5 in a few years.

I've never had perfect looking hair, from 17 onwards it's always looked dodgy.

 

[seb]

Yes I am ashamed looking disfugured and deformed like this.

 

[Beingbaldsucks]

Balding= the end of your social life at least in your 20', social life is what keeps you alive after you ended your shitty day at work, finding love, woman are the best thing in a man's life, loosing it all is like loosing your life, committing sucide because of it actually sound pretty reasnoble

 

[s.a.f]

Wow, if even old guys can't cope with this sh*t, then what a balding 21 old guy like me can.

SOME old guys.

 

[Vanitykills]

Yeah, the poster s.a.f is right in a way. There are men out there that don't care about hair loss as much as others, that's mainly because they either have tons of it with no male pattern baldness signs or it's to far gone to even give a sh*t; the latter have little option but try to move on and learn to deal with it better. However, it's still devastating to all men when it occurs at the onset.

As I said in my initial post, it does hurt, no doubt about that, but if treatment doesn't work then what choice do we have? Either it's 'woe, is me' or realise that this happens to at least 70% of men, maybe more in my opinion. I encounter very few men at my age with no signs of hair loss. Those that I do encounter with a full head of hair, it mostly doesn't look great. That's the reality of it.

I know that hair is critical when you're young but if it wasn't the hair it surely would be something else. When I had tons of hair I had some acne for a while and I was obsessed by clearing that up. I remember thinking the chicks will hate it, and walked around looking at the floor.

There's nothing wrong with obsessing about things as I think that's a typical human trait, but don't let it destroy you.