Are girls really just as shallow as men?

[Funkymonk1]

I mean a lot of girls say that they would chose a guy with a great personality, intelligence or good sense of humour etc over a good looking guy but is this really true? For example ther's this guy in my office and he's really not got much going for him, in fact he's a bit of a d*ck - arrogant, thick, cocky, vain and he's not even that good looking but he's got big muscles and all the girls are flirting and swooning over him. I've even heard rumors that he's slept with a couple of the married girls. I mean if you're going to cheat do it with someone decent!
I've seen this a lot though. Girls don't go for nice guys or guys with great personalities they go for looks or height or muscles. Men go for breasts, legs ect and it's exactly the same thing the only difference is that men don't try and pretend that they aren't shallow. Also, as much as they deny it girls also seem to be attracted to cocky, arrogant guys like the guy in my office.

 

[resu]

Women are much worse, even with themselves always commenting about what other women are dating, or their shoes, or hair, or clothes... women are the worse in that aspect but somehow they still think they're the moral barometer of the world.

You rarely see guys ruining other guys relationships out of spite like you see with so many women and their female friends.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Both men and women are very shallow.

You want to have a good personality for you, not for her.

 

[big_head]

Women care more about looks than men today. They want to **** hot guys. Don't believe the hype that they don't. Most of them will tell you otherwise but it's all lies. I've had plenty of women be candid with me. They will be candid with you if you're having sex with them and they think you're a "hot guy" (key word, think. I'm nothing special but read on)

Men want to **** hot women too but most men can get plenty of enjoyment ****ing women at their level of attractiveness or even below. Most men can't be as picky as most women, we just get enjoyment from sex. That is why "players" are seen as accomplished men and "sl*ts" aren't. For a man to get lots of women is usually a challenge. Not so for most women. This is just the plain truth. Men just like to **** girls they find cute and we like variety. Women want to **** men hotter than them. They have to perceive you as better looking than them or sexier. Women do not get turned on by the idea of ****ing someone as attractive or less attractive than them.

This idea that men are super critical of women's appearances is a myth, because there are men that get on their hands and knees for some puss. That's the sad reality. Women are the ones that have harsh standards for women's looks, THEY are the ones that tear each other apart, and they know it.

This is the truth of the western world and the anxiety that comes with it is real. In reality, I am not a shallow person. But I have learned that just to get easier sex, I have to be incredibly shallow. Just to get intimacy and physical pleasure, I need to play the game. Which is why balding is so bad for my psyche. Hard enough to be that "hot guy" with an average face. Every little bit helps- my thick wavy hair helps. My beard helps. My body helps.

This all sounds incredibly cynical but I'm sure the majority of men understand exactly what I'm saying.

 

[shookwun]

Women care more about looks than men today. They want to **** hot guys. Don't believe the hype that they don't. Most of them will tell you otherwise but it's all lies. I've had plenty of women be candid with me. They will be candid with you if you're having sex with them and they think you're a "hot guy" (key word, think. I'm nothing special but read on)

Men want to **** hot women too but most men can get plenty of enjoyment ****ing women at their level of attractiveness or even below. Most men can't be as picky as most women, we just get enjoyment from sex. That is why "players" are seen as accomplished men and "sl*ts" aren't. For a man to get lots of women is usually a challenge. Not so for most women. This is just the plain truth. Men just like to **** girls they find cute and we like variety. Women want to **** men hotter than them. They have to perceive you as better looking than them or sexier. Women do not get turned on by the idea of ****ing someone as attractive or less attractive than them.

This idea that men are super critical of women's appearances is a myth, because there are men that get on their hands and knees for some puss. That's the sad reality. Women are the ones that have harsh standards for women's looks, THEY are the ones that tear each other apart, and they know it.

This is the truth of the western world and the anxiety that comes with it is real. In reality, I am not a shallow person. But I have learned that just to get easier sex, I have to be incredibly shallow. Just to get intimacy and physical pleasure, I need to play the game. Which is why balding is so bad for my psyche. Hard enough to be that "hot guy" with an average face. Every little bit helps- my thick wavy hair helps. My beard helps. My body helps.

This all sounds incredibly cynical but I'm sure the majority of men understand exactly what I'm saying.

Great. Everything you say is spot on.


Women being clingy is a myth in most cases to. From what I experiences, and seen with others.. women are the ones who usually dump the guy.

Chicks like being with guys who aren't preditictble, and have a little bad side to them. Someone that can excite them in ways other men can't. Obviously the guy needs to be hot, but the badass type of man who can get into a fist fight at the bar, and walk away with a bruise and story to tell.



Chicks have much more novelty to choose from where as men are stuck within a certain margin, and selection to be with. All she needs to do is swipe a few times, text and meet up. Men on other hand will go through a **** load of numbers before finally having a women who's willing to submit.


there are exceptions though. When you are an aesthetic faced man with a great build... the opportunities and selection are endless. being a man who's semi decent... not so much.


As for OP: Intelligence, personality and how much you make only matters for long term relationships. Everything initially is judged by the cover. Thats why plastic surgery, bodybuilding, and steroids are a great tools for the arsenal of the man who's hurting in one or another catregory. Granted these tools aren't magic, they wont make a turd into something stunning, rather polish it. Enhancing what you lack is critical! Don't listen to bruads, and men who persuade you other wise.

 

[big_head]

Chicks have much more novelty to choose from where as men are stuck within a certain margin, and selection to be with. All she needs to do is swipe a few times, text and meet up. Men on other hand will go through a **** load of numbers before finally having a women who's willing to submit.

This reminds me of a girl who was cute enough, I was making small talk with her. She seemed to think I was one of the hottest guys she has ever met. She was nothing special, but like I said fairly cute, nice, etc. Our conversation was getting so boring outside of sex talk so I fell back on the old "What kind of music you into?" to which she replied with something like "I listen to whatever." This was a person that, if she didn't have a vagina, I'd just never talk to. We had nothing in common and I didn't find her to be an interesting person and I don't even know if she found me interesting, she just found me attractive on an animalistic level. The prospect of easy sex was too high that I just had to resort to screaming inside my brain and remaining silent IRL. This situation would probably seem ridiculous to many women, but that's how sex is for most men. You have to talk to women that bore you infinitely because it's tough to turn down easy sex from a cute girl. For women, they want a guy that stands out, they have the luxury of turning down a boring guy for an interesting guy.

You'd also get **** from a lot of women for using the word "submit" but it's completely accurate. This is what most men want. I read some article recently that said most men hate women who play hard to get, but most women think that's what men want, when really that's what most WOMEN want. Women want a challenge, men want a nice, submissive girl. The feeling of talking to a kind of shy, sweet girl who is just into you physically and mentally is the greatest thing. Sometimes you meet a hot chick who is into you but has a terrible attitude, talking to her is ****ing awful but you put up with it because....sex. The older I get the less patience I have for that type of woman.

Rambling on here but yeah. I don't blame women for wanting what they want, I get it. They want a mystery man who looks good, has a nice masculine persona. Fair enough. But they should also try to understand what men want too. If you like a man, ladies, be nice to him. Be sweet, flirty, and submissive. Don't try to emulate what you find hot in men.

 

[Funkymonk1]

Also, I think the girls who play hard to get are usually the really good looking ones. These girls know that they don't have to try because lots of men are drooling over them.
Then ther's the d*ck tease - the girl who's flirty one minute and then cold/unfriendly the next. I knew one girl at work who would flirt and give me complements but a bit later she would completely blank me when I passed her in the corridor or she'd be cold and almost rude when I'm talking to her! I think some girls just like the attention and personally I don't like playing these type games, you're either into me or you're not.

 

[shookwun]

i don't think picking up chicks at the work place is ever a good approach. But then again if you work at a restaurant, grocery store or any non-career field of work it shouldn't be a problem. Good old high school days.

As a balding man be careful with discrimination. All it takes is one complaint to the HR department, and you're gone for harassment.


When I worked at a hotel, even with a HR department... I still ran game, and picked chicks up but these are more relax environments. If you have a high paying job, and work in a business environment with professionals id stay weary about trying to pick up your co-workers.

 

[Funkymonk1]

Thing is the girls in my team are worse then the men! They're always flirting with guys and gossiping about which men in the office they find hot. So they can't really complain if a guy flirts back with them.

 

[shookwun]

thats different man, as much as I hate to admit it. Most guys don't care if a women pinches or grabs their ***, and flirt with them in the work place. The wrong approach being a man could cost you your job.

it's bull****, typically how it plays out. All she has to do is make a complaint.



Their are exceptions though... if you're handsome chances are she will go along with it.

 

[Funkymonk1]

True, there's a double standard however, as you say, most guys wouldn't complain even if a girl crossed the line so in a way it's our own fault.

I wonder why no females have responded to this topic because I'd be interested in a female perspective on all of this. Is there any truth in what we're saying?

 

[molybdenum]

Yes.

 

[Capone]

Women have become more shallow because men have become more desperate. Even absolute whales on dating sites are expecting to bang hot guys. Gemma Collins is a prime example, she's like something that fell out of a cows a$$ but talks about men like she's a Victoria Secret model

 

[abovedagame]

Imo you should never take advice from girls on what they actually want. Why? Many spew the bs that they want a guy with a great personality that's funny and confident. But in reality put a 8+/10 facially aesthetic male with ZERO social skills yet 99.9% of them would be tossing his salad. Girls themselves don't even know what they want.

If a girl is under 30, looks matter to them a lot. It's probably the biggest factor. As girls age, their worth declines so they are forced to lower their standards.

 

[jennd]

I mean, generalizations usually end up badly. I'd definitely say all genders are equally as bad in different ways. We're all complex, have differing opinions that are nuanced and all came to those conclusions in different ways based on a wealth of experience in our lives. I've definitely witnessed both genders just being downright awful in judging appearances. Asking which one's worse will just be an endless battle of the sexes.

 

[Saurabhaj]

This thread is turning out being excellent with good points being mentioned..

 

[jumpinggreedy]

Nope, I don't think that all women are shallow as men. It would be most likely depend on how men judge a woman. I should say that not all, maybe there are some.

 

[little morris]

generalizations like these end badly i think

people tend to be interested in people they find physically attractive. that's a thing that happens to everyone. i don't think it's necessarily shallowness in either men or women that motivates that. i find that men tend to be way less interested in a woman's personality than in her appearance most of the time. maybe the women see something in this man that you don't!

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Both men and women are shallow.

Not one of you is a god with the power to change the world.

All you can change is how you present yourself.

Today I did some work, I got a massage, I did some high-intensity interval training at a level that would make many men go cry to mommy. If I keep doing this 5x/week for 3 months, I might gain 0.50/10.0 on the hotness scale, and another 0.50 if I keep it up 3 months after that.

A good personality and other skills like cooking, knowledge, travelling, languages, et cetera will do nothing to attract women. Nothing. However, it will help you lead a happier life.

 

[shookwun]

Both men and women are shallow.

Not one of you is a god with the power to change the world.

All you can change is how you present yourself.

Today I did some work, I got a massage, I did some high-intensity interval training at a level that would make many men go cry to mommy. If I keep doing this 5x/week for 3 months, I might gain 0.50/10.0 on the hotness scale, and another 0.50 if I keep it up 3 months after that.

A good personality and other skills like cooking, knowledge, travelling, languages, et cetera will do nothing to attract women. Nothing. However, it will help you lead a happier life.

it will lead to a happier life, and make you a more well rounded person. Experience, and content to discuss matters a lot when someone is physically interested in you. Looks only take you so far. Reading books, traveling and developing hobbies outside of work helps widen your paradigm.


I do believe developing a good physique can easily increase your physical attraction by a solid point.