hey dude, i feel where you're coming from. my loss is in the same pattern as yours but probably destined to be worse since my dad has DUPA and i notice my sides are thinning out too. my hair started to thin probably around 14-15 when I noticed it got very oily if i didn't wash it for 2 days and i no longer had the same thickness as before, and by 18 i was around an nw2-3 with diffused thinning on top. i guess i was lucky (i really dont want to call it that..) because in high school besides the odd comments it wasnt too noticeable until the end of senior year and i rocked the long hair + fitted caps, so i was pretty outgoing and social with girls even though i hated how insecure I felt. I had it worse in life because before my loss became too noticeable i already had an anxiety disorder and bi-polar with mild psychosis. The last year of highschool was ironically my best year because even though i was diffusing pretty badly and a shy guy I still managed to attract a lot of pretty good looking girls without much effort because of the style i had and that i was a good looking guy with long hair. Also, I smoked a lot of pot daily. Believe me that really helps when you're feeling down or just want to escape thinking about life and how ****ty it is.
Fast forward the next few years til 21, my hair continued to thin out despite the medication im taking for it, I spent my entire first year at uni wearing hats every day and being constantly drunk/stoned, I failed my 2nd year and dropped out of uni, gave up on all the academic aspirations I had (I was a 'gifted' student in school, read a lot, randomly given an award for the most "creativity" in my grade lol), worked full time in a crappy job for a year, continued to buy & smoke huge amounts of pot which got me in trouble with law enforcement a few times, spent a lot of time locked up in my room on drugs and grew apart from a lot of friends who I watched move forward with their lives while I went nowhere. I could no longer wear my hair long at 19 and I have a naturally high hairline which I always covered up with my bangs. I'm back in university now at 21 but my hair is diffused in a noticeable nw5, i have to wear lots of concealer and wear my hair short which i hate since it doesnt suit me at all (other people even told me to NEVER cut my hair short in highschool :/), i feel like there's no point in trying or coming to classes so i'll probably drop out again. Havent had a GF or been sexually active since I was 17, my physical and mental health pretty much deteriorated over these last 4 years. I fell so far behind in life, I dont see a point in trying anymore. Considered suicide from the age of 13 onwards, but back then I thought that despite my problems I was smart and had a lot of good friends so I could manage to succeed anyway, but the hair loss brought me back to reality. I think some of us are genuinely meant to suffer through life no matter what we do and its beyond our control to change it.
I look around here and see a lot of people in similar or worse situations than mine (such as OP) and I feel a lot of empathy for you. Really out of everything I've gone through hair loss is by far the worst thing I've ever had to deal with and it destroyed me. Literally when I was 12-14 I was so thankful that for every miserable thing life threw at me I thought I got my mothers hair genes and I'd never look like my dad, which was a nightmare come true. I never had the experiences, appearance or confidence in myself I wanted, ever. I'd like to know what you guys find in life that pushes you to keep going because I feel like it was a mistake to not off myself after highschool or first year uni because thats when I feel my life basically ended. I can't envision myself living bald, single and with my parents at the age of 25 after an unfulfilled life that could've had so much promise. I'm not religious, but if I was I'd think this was gods way of letting me know I dont belong here and my time was up a long time ago. From a biological point of view, I think people with undesirable characteristics (such as my dad, and his mother who have DUPA and the *only* baldness in my entire family, as well as other problems..) should not reproduce or contribute to the gene pool, ever. I know I'm going to do my part. It just would've been so much easier if I'd never been born, everything I had going for me was pretty much taken away when these horrible genetics have been unfairly passed on to me. I don't think it will even matter if there was a cure in the next ~10 years, too much irreparable damage has been done already. I just harbor more and more resentment and hatred every day it's driving me crazy. My mom is such a beautiful person why'd she have to **** it up and marry my dad out of all people. I had my own troubles without genetics taking a **** on my life.
Change "forever alone" to "refuse to live this existence" and I'd agree. No one deserves to suffer this disease in their teens/20s. I'm glad I'm not alone and can relate on here and see others that are fighting the battle and moving along with their lives but it saddens me that this disease is robbing peoples youth and happiness. I've only known a few friends who had their hair loss worse than mine (more premature/more aggressive, or just didn't try to conceal it as i did) and I've witnessed their quality of lives deteriorate as well. It's painful to watch, seeing girls rip on them sometimes, listening to talks of suicide, and undeserving to anyone. I wasn't going to post a rant (I just lurk here every once in a while lol, i dont really ever post or hang out here) but OP struck a chord so I decided to share my suffering. I hope you manage to change your life around (look into a hairpiece if youre just thinning on top and really bothered by it, you can find good ones for 200-300 online and depending on the base they can last 2-6 months and give u way better density than any transplant could, maintenance isnt too hard either just find a good stylist who you trust). I don't advocate suicide to anyone, you should exhaust all your possible options before giving up on a normal and happy life.
tl;dr: hairloss sucks
